Another excellent TED talk in which Michael shares a simple way to buy happiness – by giving…
Michael I. Norton is an Associate Professor of Business Administration in the Marketing Unit and Marvin Bower Fellow at the Harvard Business School. He holds a B.A. in Psychology and English from Williams and a Ph.D. in Psychology from Princeton. Prior to joining HBS, Professor Norton was a Fellow at the MIT Media Lab and MIT’s Sloan School of Management. His work has been published in a number of leading academic journals, including Science, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Psychological Science, and the Annual Review of Psychology, and has been covered in media outlets such as the Economist, the Financial Times, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and the Washington Post.
Today (April 12) I turn 47 years old. It amazes me that I’ve been around that long. I feel like I’ve barely begun. As always, it’s an opportunity to reflect on what I’ve achieved, what I’ve learnt, and where do I want to be in five or ten years from now.
Through this photo book, I am sharing 47 tips on happiness, health, relationships and productivity – all of which can enhance life. The photos used in the book are from my personal collection. You can download the book by clicking on the book cover, or from this link. If you find this useful, please share with others too. I will consider that your birthday gift to me.
Our happiness is not set in stone: Although our genes influence about 50% of the variation in our personal happiness, our circumstances (like income and environment) affect only about 10%. As much as 40% is accounted for by our daily activities and the conscious choices we make. So the good news is that our actions really can make a difference.
Optimism helps us achieve our goals: Research shows that people who are optimistic tend to be happier, healthier and cope better in tough times.
Positive emotions make us more resilient: Our emotions affect our long-term well-being. Research shows that experiencing positive emotions in a 3-to-1 ratio with negative ones leads to a tipping point beyond which we naturally become more resilient to adversity and better able to achieve things.
Happiness is contagious: Our happiness influences the people we know and the people they know. Research shows that the happiness of a close contact increases the chance of being happy by 15%. The happiness of a 2nd-degree contact (e.g. friend’s spouse) increases it by 10% and the happiness of a 3rd-degree contact (e.g. friend of a friend of a friend) by 6%. [Related post]
Together we’re stronger: Having a network of social connections or high levels of social support has been shown to increase our immunity to infection, lower our risk of heart disease and reduce mental decline as we get older. Not having close personal ties has been shown to pose significant risks for our health.
Happier people live longer: Happiness doesn’t just feel good. A review of hundreds of studies has found compelling evidence that happier people have better overall health and live longer than their less happy peers. Anxiety, depression, pessimism and a lack of enjoyment of daily activities have all been found to be associated with higher rates of disease and shorter life spans. [Related TED video]
Happiness is a skill you can learn: Western neuroscience has now confirmed what Eastern wisdom has known for a long time: happiness is a skill we can learn. Research shows that happiness, compassion and kindness are the products of skills that can be learned and enhanced through training, thanks to the neuro plasticity of our brains.
Happiness leads to success: Most people think that if they become successful, then they’ll be happy. But recent discoveries in psychology and neuroscience show that this formula is backward: Happiness fuels success, not the other way around. When we’re positive, our brains are more motivated, engaged, creative, energetic, resilient, and productive.
I was a bit surprised to read about genes contributing up to 50% of our happiness, and have started reading some more about it, but the rest of the facts seem to support most of my views and other posts about happiness. What’s your take on the above?
I recently had the privilege of connecting and interacting with one of the happiest and most successful people I’ve ever known. He started as a salesman and built one of the biggest direct sales companies in the region. I always admired how he found time for leisure and everything else that he enjoyed doing, even during the busiest times of his business. He retired early and rich, while the company runs on the systems he had built. In the following note, he shared with me his thoughts on motivation, productivity and dealing with depression:
Books: Two books that helped me greatly are:
How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by Harry Browne
The Happiness Purpose by Edward De Bono
And my favorite now for ageless wisdom is The Portable Thoreau edited Carl Bode.
Work Habits:
Keep a ‘time diary’ for 10-30 days. Log everything you do from wake-up to sleep – every phone call, every meeting, every cup of coffee. Review and you will find there is much wasted and unproductive time, which could be spent constructively on work or quality leisure. Make the adjustments.
Do jobs IMMEDIATELY and FINISH them.
By doing these two things I accomplished the same in one third of the time than most people! Now I am stress-free and have lots of leisure. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve lived with this mantra for over five years now, so I was obviously very interested to watch Graham Hill’s talk on TED with that title. He has summarized the benefits very well, but he doesn’t tell us what did he do with all his collections, possessions and stuff. Here’s my story and tips:
When I started the process of reducing my possessions and simplifying my life, I started with the biggest chunk – my collection of books. I realized I wasn’t going to re-read most of them. My hope that my kids would read them all one day wasn’t realistic because they don’t have the same interests as mine. So I gave them all away to friends or charity. I also got rid of the book shelf, so that the books I continue to buy must be given away soon after I finish reading them. Since the iPad, I only buy digital books. They are cheaper, easy to store/backup and environment friendly. You can increase the font size and brightness; you can highlight passages; you can call up a dictionary by just touching the word. And if you really miss the touch and feel and smell of real books, you can visit the book store once a while and get all that for free. I have also tried audio books, and they have their benefits too.
Then I was able to simplify my entire wardrobe to fit into ten hangers and one drawer – plus a small suitcase with winter stuff on one side and special occasion stuff on the other. I took most of the unnecessary clutter out of my life – excessive suits, shoes, belts, ties, watches (I’ve actually stopped wearing a watch), videos, CDs etc. I still need to finish scanning the photos and get rid of the albums. All of this means, I need less space for my possessions and less maintenance time. I can focus on quality instead of quantity/variety. I only buy things that I really need and have space for. If I buy a new shirt, an old shirt has to go.
My travel bag has got smaller and smaller, regardless of the length of the trip, and is now down to a small carry-on, without the additional backpack that used to go with it. I still take all the photos and make all the movies with my pocket Canon Ixus. That means I can pack easily and quickly, travel much lighter and move around easily. I have applied the same principle to my work i.e. office space and desk. It’s all easier said than done, but extremely rewarding and worthwhile. I believe it makes you more productive, more efficient, lighter and happier!
[Photo of my travel bags taken just now in the hotel room. The shoulder bag has the camera, spare battery, spare SD cards, phone, wallet, passport, charger, pens and few other essentials]
A new day in Africa! (Sunrise at Hoedspruit, December 2011)
Most of the research suggests that majority of the people do not stick to their resolutions beyond a couple of weeks or months, if at all. And most of the goals established before the New Year end up way short of achievement. Having spent almost 30 years doing resolutions (a few times every year) and working with thousands of salespeople and managers who established annual goals, here’s what I think causes any New Year resolution to fail:
Too casual. Some people come up with resolutions for the sake of resolutions, without giving serious consideration to what they really want.
Not committed enough. Any resolution without total commitment is as good as a dream.
Not specific enough. ‘I’ll lose weight’, ‘I’ll save money’, ‘I’ll travel’ are all examples of non-specific resolutions.
No deadlines. Open-ended resolutions like ‘I’ll quit smoking’ are like any other promise without a time frame that we can easily postpone.
No planning. A resolution without a plan is like a destination without a road map – without knowing how to get there.
No follow-up. Milestones and checkpoints are critical in any journey. Resolutions that are not reviewed periodically often come to haunt us at the end of the year.
No action. You know where you want to go, and how to get there, but you can’t there unless you start moving. Lack of action, laziness, and procrastination are often signs of lack of commitment.
If your resolutions haven’t worked well for you in the past, it’s likely because of one of the above reasons. This year, come up with fewer resolutions but make sure they are very specific, backed up with a full plan of action and have your total commitment. Then take the necessary action with perseverance, and review results often. In short, you need to know what you really want, by when and how… then act now!
“I struggled just getting the ball up to the rim level. I couldn’t do it at first.” (Kareem Abdul Jabbar – basketball champion)
“What could be worse than getting to the end of your life and realizing you hadn’t lived it.” (Edward Albee – 3 Pulitzer Prizes for Drama)
“If you don’t fall down, you are not trying hard enough.” (Tenley Albright – Olympic Gold Medal Figure Skater and Surgeon)
“I believe that each of us comes from the Creator trailing wisps of glory.” (Maya Angelou – Poet and Historian)
“I knew that if I failed I wouldn’t regret that, but I knew the one thing I would regret is not trying.” (Jeff Bezos – Founder of Amazon.com)
“I do not know the word ‘quit’. Either I never did, or I have abolished it.” (Susan Butcher – Champion dog-sled racer)
“There is no such thing as an average human being. If you have a normal brain, you are superior.” (Benjamin Carson – Pediatric Neurosurgeon)
“I have always felt that I did well as a student because I lacked confidence.” (Denton Cooley – pioneer of heart transplants)
“The Godfather was a very under-appreciated movie when we were making it. I almost got fired.” (Francis Ford Coppola – filmmaker, producer and screenwriter)
“My parents telling me to stop doing it is probably what caused the company to be created.” (Michael Dell – Founder of Dell)
An excerpt from Call Me by My True Names by the modern Buddhist poet, Thich Nhat Hanh:
They don’t publish the good news.
The good news is published by us.
We have a special edition every moment, and we need you to read it.
The good news is that you are alive, and the linden tree is still there, standing firm in the harsh Winter.
The good news is that you have wonderful eyes to touch the blue sky.
The good news is that your child is there before you, and your arms are available: hugging is possible.
They only print what is wrong.
Look at each of our special editions.
We always offer the things that are not wrong.
We want you to benefit from them and help protect them.
The dandelion is there by the sidewalk, smiling its wondrous smile, singing the song of eternity.
Listen! You have ears that can hear it. Bow your head. Listen to it.
Leave behind the world of sorrow and preoccupation and get free.
The latest good news is that you can do it.
[Photo by yours truly. Do you have any good news to share?]
“When you are interested, you do what’s convenient. When you are committed, you do whatever it takes.”
This post is inspired by someone I met today in Colombo. When he decided to move back to Sri Lanka from the Middle East 15 years ago, his wife wasn’t too happy with the decision. She loved Dubai too much. This man promised his wife that he’ll bring her to Dubai for at least ten days every year. And he hasn’t missed a year since. He told me it was difficult at times to take the ten days off because of work pressure, or other priorities, ‘but a promise is a promise’.
How often do we sabotage our relationships, health, productivity, talent, dreams… by not fulfilling the commitments that we make to ourselves or others. Whether big or small, every broken promise adds up to create an unhappy situation. Some of the most commonly broken promises I can think of:
To our loved ones: I’ll call you back in a minute. I’ll do it during the weekend. I’ll be there for the… (birthday party or the game or the parent-teacher meeting). We’ll take a vacation this year.
To our kids: We’ll read it tonight. Yes, I’ll help with your math. I’ll fix it tomorrow. We’ll go there during the weekend.
At work: I am working on it. I’ll email you today. I’ll clean up my desk. I’ll call you back. I’ll learn the new… (skill, system, program, equipment) soon.
To ourselves: I’ll start exercising. I’ll read that book. I’ll eat healthy. I’m off desserts. I quit coffee. I’ll wake up earlier. I’ll clean up. I’ll volunteer. I’ll start saving.
And I am as guilty as anybody else. Let’s promise to keep our promises. And commit to fulfill our commitments.
Ron Gutman reviews a raft of studies about smiling, and reveals some surprising results. Did you know your smile can be a predictor of how long you’ll live – and that a simple smile has a measurable effect on your overall well-being? Prepare to flex a few facial muscles as you learn more about this evolutionarily contagious behavior.
There’s something good in every person, place and situation. So it is with summer. We can complain about the heat and sweat or remind ourselves of all the goodness that every weather brings. Few benefits of summer that I can think of:
Detox through sweating. Our skin plays a major role in the detoxification alongside the lungs, kidneys, bowels, liver and the immune system. Sweat carries toxins out of the body and flushes them through the pores. Sweating also helps to regulate body’s temperature. Sweating is a natural sauna!
Free Vitamin D. Vitamin D is essential for healthy immune system, is a potent anti-inflamatory, helps regulate blood sugar levels, helps lower blood pressure… and many more benefits are still being discovered. People would pay any price to get this vitamin, but you can get it free from the sun!
More time outdoors. Summer provides an excellent opportunity to switch off the TV, computer and spend more time outdoors. Whether it’s hiking or cycling in the countryside, swimming in the pool or at a beach, walking barefoot in a lawn or at a beach… summer is a great time to enjoy the outdoors with family and friends!
What other benefits can you think of? Please share through comments.
[Photo of a monkey we spotted during the MacLehose stage 5 in Hong Kong a couple of day ago.]
How different would our days (and therefore life) be if we noticed, acknowledged, enjoyed and were grateful for even half the things we take for granted every day? Would we be happier, more cheerful and have more enthusiasm? Would we complain less? You bet.
Right now, I am grateful for the long battery life on my mac, the comfortable sofa, the cushion on my lap absorbing the heat from the notebook, the lamp, the cool breeze from the window, the family sleeping quietly, the calm of the morning (4 AM), WordPress, Facebook, people who ask me when they don’t see a new post on my blog… a fridge full of stuff, mostly healthy!
Please share through comments (here or on my Facebook page) what else we usually take for granted, every day. Thanks for reading and sharing.
[Self photography during a beautiful drive in Surabaya yesterday, feeling the rain and breeze]
Richard Stengel writes in Mandela’s Way, the biography of Nelson Mandela:
“Some call it a blind spot, other naivete, but Mandela sees almost everyone as virtuous until proven otherwise. He starts with an assumption that you are dealing with him in good faith. He believes that, just as pretending to be brave can lead to acts of real bravery, seeing the good in other people improves the chances that they will reveal their better selves.”
My humble additions:
People are mostly good, honest and helpful – regardless of their origin, religion or race.
There’s some good and bad in every person, place and situation. We can choose to focus on the good or the bad.
It’s not often that I get a forwarded email with good content. This came from a friend yesterday, without the name of the author or the source. And I am copying it as is, because I believe this is true. I have been practicing and preaching this concept for many years. Try it…
Did you know that you can actually “trick” your brain into thinking you’re happy? Dr. David Lykken, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at theUniversity of Minnesota says, “Emotions are a combination of internal feelings and physical responses that provide feedback to your brain.” In effect, you can consciously initiate or provide the mental and physical conditions that your brain will naturally translate into feelings and emotions — you basically have the power to influence your mood. Try it for yourself.
Smile even when you don’t feel like it. You’ll think it’s silly but studies have shown that people who force themselves to smile eventually develop a more positive attitude towards challenges and setbacks. Smile the moment you wake up. Smile as you put yourself to sleep. Smile at everyone you meet.
Laugh at the pettiest things. Get some air into those lungs! More oxygen, more energy, brighter day! Ten minutes of laughter a day –- that’s all you need to ensure a life of contentment. You’ll be surprised that in Asia, some companies have employed a daily “laughter break”. Employees have to walk to a park, form a circle, and force themselves to laugh non-stop for 15 minutes. Company executives swear that this relaxation break has caused worker enthusiasm and productivity to soar!
Stand tall and walk fast. Remember your teacher in second grade? She tapped you with a ruler, screaming, “No slouching! Chin up! Walk tall!” You had no idea that she wasn’t just insisting on good posture, she was also making sure you developed a bright and confident outlook in life!
Stretch – better yet, exercise! Don’t “think” about your workout, just do it! If you pause, to think about the sweat, the pain, the monotony and the time, you’ll find one excuse or other not to do it. So, don’t rationalize. Just get up and do it. You know that at the end of the workout, you’ll feel good you did it. And if you’re not exactly the workout kind, try dancing!
Think only positive thoughts, speak only positive words. Every time you start to think or say something negative, stop. Change your sentences into the positive. Pessimists complain about their problems; optimists think of solutions. Advise, rather than criticize. Encourage, inspire, motivate –- yourself and others. Pick up a lesson, rather than blame. And always count your blessings.
These are just a few of the many ways you can jumpstart an overall feeling of happiness and contentment. Remember that your emotions are dictated by your perception of the world around you. And your reactions are a product of choice — you can “choose” to be happy, angry or sad. As Ecrivain Lesage wrote in “Histoire de Gil Blas” in 1735, “I am happy and content because I think I am.”
[Photo from the window seat while flying from Dubai to Colombo]
I just finished reading this wonderful book by Leo Babauta. It’s an important reminder of the importance of focus in this age of distraction, and how to achieve it. The book is available for free and is ‘un-copyrighted’ by the author so you can share it with as many people as you want. Just click on the image to download the PDF version.
It’s an essential guide for everyone who needs to focus, and covers lots of useful stuff like:
It’s wonderful to see most people getting excited about the new year – the greetings, fireworks, cheer, and most importantly, the optimism for the year ahead.
I wonder why can’t we greet each new day with the same cheer and optimism. Isn’t waking up each morning a reason to be grateful and happy? Isn’t every day a chance to celebrate life and everything it has to offer? If that seems a bit too extreme, then how about ‘happy new week’? Could we not be as excited about the challenges and surprises that each new week brings?
This year try new month resolutions at the start of every new month. I can tell you from experience, they work much better than new year resolutions.
Next time you get a ‘happy new day’ or a ‘happy new week’ greeting from me, you’ll know why
PS. I started a Mush’s Page on Facebook to spread the ideas about enhancing life further. It also makes it easier for you to ‘like’, ‘comment’ or ‘share’ with just one click. Check it out.
Here’s a collection of links to some of the most popular posts on my blog during the last 12 months. I hope you find them useful and consider sharing with friends. These may have some ideas for your New Year Resolutions too:
Watching lots of seagulls recently, I was reminded of this inspiring book I had read a few times during the late 80′s. I just read it again and realized why it’s called a classic. It’s a short and simple story of a seagull called Jonathan Livingston Seagull, but the message is powerful and inspiring. Instead of a review, here are a few excerpts from the book:
…Most gulls don’t bother to learn more than the simplest flight – how to get from shore to food and back again. For most gulls, it is not flying that matters, but eating. For this gull, it was not eating that mattered, but flight. More than anything else, Jonathan Livingston Seagull loved to fly.
…Jonathan Seagull discovered that boredom and fear and anger are the reasons that a gull’s life is so short, and with these gone from his thought, he lived a long fine life indeed.
…’How you manage to love a mob of birds that has just tried to kill you?’ ‘Oh, you don’t love that! You don’t love hatred and evil, of course. You have to practice and see the real gull, the good in every one of them, and to help them see it in themselves. That’s what I mean by love.’
I recommend this book very highly, regardless of your age, interests or profession. Please share what your favorite books are.
