Having spent ten days in Australia, I was reminded of the many good things about the Aussies:
Good day, mate! It’s the local greeting but also an attitude of happiness and friendliness. You can only greet each other with enthusiasm if you are really happy and grateful with your life. Otherwise, it will be the usual ‘how are you?’ and ‘not bad’. That attitude is also reflected in their choice of vocabulary. It’s not ‘nice’, it’s ‘fantastic!’ or ‘awesome!’ Simply put, ‘life is good!’
Work to live. Most Aussies don’t live to work. A standard working day for most offices is 8-4:30 and 9:30-5:30 for most shops. This means more time for life outside of work – family, socializing, sports and hobbies. Yes, many Australians actually have hobbies like gardening, woodworking etc. Do they get less work done compared to those who regularly work overtime in many other countries? I don’t think so.
Sunday is family day. Unlike many of us, most Aussies actually have a ‘plan’ for Sundays. And the key elements of the plan are family and outdoors – beach, picnics, parks, hikes. That’s not only great bonding time for the family, but also very healthy.
No worries, mate! That’s also more of an attitude than just another local phrase you hear often. Aussies seem to genuinely believe that no problem is big enough to worry; given some time, most situations sort themselves out; getting stressed doesn’t make things easier. I wonder if they have one of the lowest rates of stress-related illnesses in the world.
Play to win. Aussies are clearly one of the most competitive people, and it’s not just in sports. I think they generally like to excel at whatever they do – be it making a coffee, raising a child or winning an olympic gold. This is also obvious in a higher standard of services.
I am sure some readers will have many negative things to say about the Aussies. Every one of us, every nation, every place has negatives and positives. But I find myself much happier when focusing on the good rather than the bad, particularly when I am traveling. Please share your positive thoughts about your favorite place.
In every situation or problem, we have a choice to respond or react. And our choice determines how we get affected by the situation or problem. My favorite example is that of a delayed flight. Most passengers choose to react by asking for an explanation for the delay, calling up family and friends to share the anger (‘why does it always happen to me?‘), demanding to ‘speak with the manager’, expecting free meals, continuing to be angry even after taking off and landing at the destination and perhaps for the rest of the day. If you choose to respond, you could be grateful that they found out the problem with the plane or the pilot or the weather while you are still on the ground, rather than finding out when you are 35,000 feet up in the air. You could catch up on some phone calls or shopping or reading, or simply enjoy doing nothing for a change. If the flight has been indefinitely delayed, you can also respond by trying to find another connection to your destination.
When someone criticizes you, you can react by offering explanations or starting an argument. Or you can respond by trying to understand the other person’s perspective, by accepting that you aren’t perfect and by being grateful that someone cared enough to tell you about your weakness. Read the rest of this entry »
Millions of Muslims around the world are celebrating their Eid (pronounced as eed) Festival today. It’s a day of family, friends, feast, festivity and forgiveness. I hope the following quotes inspire you to forgive others, and yourself, for all the wrongs of the past.
I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note – torn in two, and burned up, so that it can never be shown against one. (Henry Ward Beecher)
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. (Mahatma Gandhi)
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. (Lewis B. Smedes)
Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. (Isaac Friedmann)
Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury. (E.H. Chapin)
Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much. (Oscar Wilde)
Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me. (Anonymous)
Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you: love, prayer, and forgiveness. (H. Jackson Brown)
There is no love without forgiveness; and there’s no forgiveness without love. (Byrant McGill)
Forgiveness is the economy of the heart – forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. (Hannah More)
Which one did you like best? Do you have a favorite quote on forgiveness? Please share through comments.
[Photo of a popular shrine in Iran, taken in July 2009]
She is a 15-year old girl who goes to school in the morning and sells flowers at night. She lives with her aunt who gives her ten bouquets every night. And she can’t return home until she sells them all. It can take her anywhere from two to six hours to sell all ten bouquets, depending on the day of the week and time of the year. The price of USD1 per bouquet doesn’t make it any easier. She goes to the road-side restaurants and coffee shops around the Cathedral in HCMC (Ho Chi Minh City), where she can find foreigners who are usually better customers.
She considers herself fortunate to be be living in a city, to have an aunt who takes care of her, to have a job that pays for her food and school, to have customers who buy her bouquets.
Do you feel a little more fortunate, if not incredibly blessed? Please share your thoughts through comments.
[An estimated 300 million children worldwide are subjected to violence, exploitation and abuse including the worst forms of child labour in communities, schools and institutions. As reported by UNICEF]
Over 100 million people are homeless throughout the world, the majority of them women and dependent children. Overall, at least 600 million people live in shelters that are life threatening or health threatening in developing world cities. Every day, some 50,000 people die as a result of poor shelter, polluted water and inadequate sanitation. Some 70 million women and children live in homes where smoke from cooking fires damages their health. There are over 23 million refugees worldwide, and 27 million internally displaced people- within their own countries.
Right Knowledge, to supply you with the tools necessary for your voyage.
Wisdom, to assure you that you are using the accumulated knowledge of the past in a manner that will best serve the discovery of your presence, your ‘now’.
Compassion, to help you accept others whose ways may be different from yours, with gentleness and understanding, as you move with them or through them or around them on your own way.
Harmony, to be able to accept the natural flow of life.
Creativity, to help you to realize and recognize new alternatives and unchartered paths along the way.
Strength, to stand up against fear and move forward in spite of uncertainty, without guarantee or payment.
Peace, to keep you centered.
Joy, to keep you songful, and laughing and dancing all along the way.
Love, to be your continual guide towards the highest level of consciousness of which man is capable.
Unity, which brings us back to where we started – the place where we are at one with ourselves and with all things.
To me, life is God’s gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to God. Make it a fantastic one.
What do you think is essential in life? Please share through your comments.
[Photo: Tree outside the Heathrow Airport, March 2010]
I faced a stressful situation today, and reminded myself: There’s only one person who is responsible for any stress in my life, and that’s me. And guess what, my stress vanished.
There’s only one person who is responsible for the quality of your life, happiness, health, relationships, motivation, job satisfaction, wealth and well being. And that’s you!
And the person who makes you unhappy, unhealthy, stressful, disappointed, frustrated, angry, lonely, lazy or poor is also you!
You get the point? Such use of the words ‘never’ and ‘always’ exaggerate the reality and blow the situation out of proportion. It usually sparks an argument, or at best, affects the self-esteem of the other person. Next time you are tempted to use these words, try replacing them with ‘usually’ or ‘often’ if you really must use an adverb.
And what if you are at the receiving end of such criticism with one of these words?
Don’t take them seriously – you know it’s just an exaggeration.
Avoid the temptation to pick on these words and start a heated argument.
Simply ask: ‘Do you really mean it?’ or ‘You mean often, not always, right?
Don’t let it hurt you or ruin your day or affect your self-esteem – you are stronger than that!
The words always and never can also be used in very positive ways to enhance your communication, increase your commitment, and to motivate yourself and others. Please share your views through comments.
This post was inspired during my recent 24-hour journey from Hamza’s place inCardiffto my home in Hong Kong. Multiple connections combined with various modes of travel always result in exciting surprises. And then the movie, ‘Up in the Air’ provided some more impetus. Many frequent travelers learn a few ‘tricks of the trade’ and develop certain attitudes that help them deal with the stress of traveling and keep sane. And I believe some of these provide useful lessons for life:
Travel light. It’s perhaps the most important advice on traveling. Packing a smaller bag requires planning, discipline and focus on the essentials. It saves time at check-in counters. It’s easier to unpack. Less clutter means better focus, and fewer chances of leaving something behind. You can also move on at short notice. Doesn’t that apply to life too? Whether it’s your desk/desktop, wallet/purse/bag, wardrobe or the house… fewer things mean less clutter, less time wasted on finding stuff, less energy on the maintenance. The same applies to having thousands of ‘friends’ on Facebook, receiving tons of junk mail, maintaining dozens of credit cards… the list goes on. Less is more; lighter the better; quality over quantity.
Be prepared for surprises. You learn during traveling that everything is not in your control, and things don’t always go as planned. Flights can be delayed or cancelled; your special meal onboard is often mixed up; bags don’t always make the connection; hotels can be over-booked; Internet doesn’t always work… And it’s not because the world is conspiring against you and everyone is out to get you. You can accept these situations with calm or fight and argue and get upset. I often remind upset fellow passengers: There are usually three reasons for a flight to be delayed: there’s something wrong with the plane, or the pilot, or the weather. And I am glad they have found out while we are still on the ground. The same applies to life. Despite great intentions and excellent planning, things do go wrong. And we have to learn to distinguish between situations (that can’t be changed) and problems (that can be solved). Unfortunately, so many people waste so much of their time and energy fighting with situations.
Enjoy the moment. Just like the unpleasant surprises, there are often unexpected pleasures in traveling. It can be the most beautiful sunrise over the horizon from your window seat, a divine local meal, an unforgettable encounter with a stranger, and other memorable unplanned experiences. At such moments, you don’t want to continue reading the book or checking your email on the iPhone or responding to an SMS. In an age when electronic communications enable us to be permanently connected to (and distracted by) the virtual world, there’s a thrill in throwing yourself into a single place, a single moment. When you travel, you get to embrace the privilege of witnessing life as it happens before your eyes. This attitude need not be confined to travel. For all the pleasures of the virtual world, there is no substitute for real-life conversations and connections with the people and places around you. Even at home, there’s good reason to unplug from the world and really connect with the people you love.
Do you have any interesting experiences from your travels? Or any tips for life? Please share through comments.
Nana is the Urdu/Hindi word for maternal grandfather. Every time I go to Dubai, I visit my 97-year old nana who lives with my uncle. We have all envied his health and fitness levels for a long time. Until recently, he used to wake up before dawn for his morning prayers and rituals; he read newspapers and went for walks; he traveled on his own between Bhavnagar (India) and Dubai.
Every time, I would learn about a different part of his life – and each one more inspiring than the other e.g.
He never went to university, but was one of the most learned men of his time. He never stopped reading and learning. He could speak more than five languages.
He started his career selling metal at the age of 18. And when he retired at 50, he owned a huge metal business and few shops.
Soon after retirement, he started working with a few philanthropic organizations. He traveled across India and Africa for fund-raising and built hundreds of schools in poor neighborhoods.
He had four wives; he remarried after the deaths of each one, except the last one who died about ten years ago. My mom was born from the second wife.
I saw him last week, and he is not the same anymore, physically. He is now bed-ridden, but insists on walking to the bathroom. He can only take fluids, so he is getting weaker by the day. He can’t see properly, or hear or talk. And he doesn’t recognize anyone. He felt my face, arms and biceps. Then he smiled and made a gesture with a punched hand – meaning ‘you seem fit’. When I realized his mental alertness, I tried to say ‘let’s get up and go’ through my body language. He quickly responded through his hands and expressions which I interpreted as, ‘I am done with this life; I am too tired now; I am ready to go’.
I think people have two kinds of thoughts on their deathbeds: I wish I had done this and done that; if I could live my life again, I would do this and that differently. Or I am glad I did this and that; if I could live my life again, I wouldn’t change a thing; I had the best life! And what we would be thinking on our deathbeds depends on how we live our lives today.
[Updated on 2nd April: Nana passed away today. May his soul rest in peace]
The post on 45 Tips for a Happy Marriage continues to be one of the most popular on this blog. Here’s #46 – actually an extension of ‘go on dates’…
We have another ritual that we call Friday Dates. Once in a month or two, we both take the afternoon off from whatever we are doing. We meet at our favorite soup/salad place for a long lunch. Then we usually go to a nearby reflexology place for an invigorating foot/shoulder treatment. The rest of the afternoon is either shopping or movie or just chilling out at a coffee shop.
Why Friday? There’s something about leaving important work behind in the office to meet that special someone. It’s a great start to a wonderful weekend. There’s no rush to go back home to kids – they are at work or in school. The long hours together encourages lot of talking. We share our dreams and goals, address important issues, and even resolve any differences. Try it out. It’s very different from the usual dinner dates, and is sure to strengthen the relationship.
[Photo of sunset from Cococabana beach on Lamma Island, Hong Kong]
We all want more happiness, better health, increased productivity and improved relationships. We want to be able to motivate ourselves to do the things we know we should do to enhance our lives. I try to help myself and others to achieve all that through this blog.
Here’s a collection of posts from the last couple of years that I consider to be the best, considering the popularity and comments from the readers. Most articles are short, and take only a few minutes to read. Please let me know through your comments if this collection could form a useful ebook…
“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’” (Martin Luther King, Jr.)
“Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have, now.” (African-American proverb)
“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” (Leonardo da Vinci)
“Make the most of yourself, for that’s all there is of you.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
“Doing the best at this moment, puts you in the best place for the next moment.” (Oprah Winfrey)
What if we had new month resolutions at the start of each new month, instead of new year resolutions? Could we have a better chance of fulfilling them, knowing that we only have 30 days?
What if we celebrated every new week, instead of just the new year? Could we not be as excited about the challenges and surprises that each new week brings?
What if we welcomed each new day with the same gratefulness, cheer and optimism, as we greet the new year? Could we not wish each other a Happy New Day, every day?
That’s part of my new year resolutions – to celebrate each new day and be grateful for every moment of this wonderful life. Let’s see how long does that last!
Would you like to share your new year resolutions?
[Video of fireworks in Hong Kong a few hours ago, taken by Sara from the Peak]
Thanks to all those who read and forwarded and commented on the post on Stress. You can view all the comments here - some very interesting perspectives and useful tips on managing stress. Seeing the level of interest, I have put together some nice quotes on stress:
The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it. ~Attributed to both Jim Goodwin and Sydney J. Harris
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. ~Richard Carlson
For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. ~Lily Tomlin
The mark of a successful man is one that has spent an entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it. ~Author Unknown
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. ~Bertrand Russell
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. ~Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind
Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering. ~Pooh’s Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne
There is more to life than increasing its speed. ~Mohandas K. Gandhi
A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. ~Aesop, Fables
Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you. ~John De Paola
How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward. ~Spanish Proverb
Stress is poison. ~Agavé Powers
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. ~Jerome K. Jerome, The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Sometimes a headache is all in your head. Relax. ~Hartman Jule
Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. ~Chinese Proverb
Stress is an admission of weakness, a cry of defeat to the world. ~Carrie Latet
Please share your favorite quotes through comments.
[Photo taken at Hua Hin beach, Thailand]
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The last post, 17 Things You Should Know About Stress, attracted a lot of views and some interesting comments. Here’s some advise from readers on how they manage stress:
“I usually manage stress by writing. I write down all the possible reasons which I think are causing stress. First in points and then I write detail paragraphs for each point. Then I read each point again and again very carefully. Finally I start crossing out the points. Most of the time I am able to cross out all the points and find no reason left to remain stressed.”
“I either listen to soft music or read a good motivating book and mostly what i do at difficult situations is , i go to a silent place and CRY. Once i’m done trust me i feel relaxed, find a solution and just move on. Trust me stress will never come back once u r able to let your feelings out.”
“Hey you forgot to mention laughter as a means to reduce stress, a good joke and friends with good sense of humar always releases my stress.”
Feeling sad, depressed or unhappy? Does life look gloomy, and the world seems dreary? Try one of the following tested and proven tips to achieve an instant shift in your emotions and feelings:
1. Be grateful for the things you usually take for granted…
Being alive and healthy
For the basic stuff: food, water, clothes, shelter, electricity…
Your skills: reading, writing, thinking, driving, writing, and other
People in your life: family, friends, people you love, people who love you, those who had a positive influence in your life
2. Make someone happy…
Compliment people: for their appearance, intelligence, skills…
Appreciate others: for what they do for you, for their helpfulness… your family, co-workers and others; say ‘thank you’
Having spent ten days in Australia, I was reminded of the many good things about the Aussies:
