Today (April 12) I turn 47 years old. It amazes me that I’ve been around that long. I feel like I’ve barely begun. As always, it’s an opportunity to reflect on what I’ve achieved, what I’ve learnt, and where do I want to be in five or ten years from now.
Through this photo book, I am sharing 47 tips on happiness, health, relationships and productivity – all of which can enhance life. The photos used in the book are from my personal collection. You can download the book by clicking on the book cover, or from this link. If you find this useful, please share with others too. I will consider that your birthday gift to me.
I recently had the privilege of connecting and interacting with one of the happiest and most successful people I’ve ever known. He started as a salesman and built one of the biggest direct sales companies in the region. I always admired how he found time for leisure and everything else that he enjoyed doing, even during the busiest times of his business. He retired early and rich, while the company runs on the systems he had built. In the following note, he shared with me his thoughts on motivation, productivity and dealing with depression:
Books: Two books that helped me greatly are:
How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by Harry Browne
The Happiness Purpose by Edward De Bono
And my favorite now for ageless wisdom is The Portable Thoreau edited Carl Bode.
Work Habits:
Keep a ‘time diary’ for 10-30 days. Log everything you do from wake-up to sleep – every phone call, every meeting, every cup of coffee. Review and you will find there is much wasted and unproductive time, which could be spent constructively on work or quality leisure. Make the adjustments.
Do jobs IMMEDIATELY and FINISH them.
By doing these two things I accomplished the same in one third of the time than most people! Now I am stress-free and have lots of leisure. Read the rest of this entry »
In the 1970s, Diana Nyad set long-distance swim records that are still unbroken. Thirty years later, at 60, she attempted her longest swim yet, from Cuba to Florida. She talks about how to prepare mentally to achieve an extreme dream, and asks: What will YOU do with your wild, precious life? Extremely inspiring!
I’ve lived with this mantra for over five years now, so I was obviously very interested to watch Graham Hill’s talk on TED with that title. He has summarized the benefits very well, but he doesn’t tell us what did he do with all his collections, possessions and stuff. Here’s my story and tips:
When I started the process of reducing my possessions and simplifying my life, I started with the biggest chunk – my collection of books. I realized I wasn’t going to re-read most of them. My hope that my kids would read them all one day wasn’t realistic because they don’t have the same interests as mine. So I gave them all away to friends or charity. I also got rid of the book shelf, so that the books I continue to buy must be given away soon after I finish reading them. Since the iPad, I only buy digital books. They are cheaper, easy to store/backup and environment friendly. You can increase the font size and brightness; you can highlight passages; you can call up a dictionary by just touching the word. And if you really miss the touch and feel and smell of real books, you can visit the book store once a while and get all that for free. I have also tried audio books, and they have their benefits too.
Then I was able to simplify my entire wardrobe to fit into ten hangers and one drawer – plus a small suitcase with winter stuff on one side and special occasion stuff on the other. I took most of the unnecessary clutter out of my life – excessive suits, shoes, belts, ties, watches (I’ve actually stopped wearing a watch), videos, CDs etc. I still need to finish scanning the photos and get rid of the albums. All of this means, I need less space for my possessions and less maintenance time. I can focus on quality instead of quantity/variety. I only buy things that I really need and have space for. If I buy a new shirt, an old shirt has to go.
My travel bag has got smaller and smaller, regardless of the length of the trip, and is now down to a small carry-on, without the additional backpack that used to go with it. I still take all the photos and make all the movies with my pocket Canon Ixus. That means I can pack easily and quickly, travel much lighter and move around easily. I have applied the same principle to my work i.e. office space and desk. It’s all easier said than done, but extremely rewarding and worthwhile. I believe it makes you more productive, more efficient, lighter and happier!
[Photo of my travel bags taken just now in the hotel room. The shoulder bag has the camera, spare battery, spare SD cards, phone, wallet, passport, charger, pens and few other essentials]
A new day in Africa! (Sunrise at Hoedspruit, December 2011)
Most of the research suggests that majority of the people do not stick to their resolutions beyond a couple of weeks or months, if at all. And most of the goals established before the New Year end up way short of achievement. Having spent almost 30 years doing resolutions (a few times every year) and working with thousands of salespeople and managers who established annual goals, here’s what I think causes any New Year resolution to fail:
Too casual. Some people come up with resolutions for the sake of resolutions, without giving serious consideration to what they really want.
Not committed enough. Any resolution without total commitment is as good as a dream.
Not specific enough. ‘I’ll lose weight’, ‘I’ll save money’, ‘I’ll travel’ are all examples of non-specific resolutions.
No deadlines. Open-ended resolutions like ‘I’ll quit smoking’ are like any other promise without a time frame that we can easily postpone.
No planning. A resolution without a plan is like a destination without a road map – without knowing how to get there.
No follow-up. Milestones and checkpoints are critical in any journey. Resolutions that are not reviewed periodically often come to haunt us at the end of the year.
No action. You know where you want to go, and how to get there, but you can’t there unless you start moving. Lack of action, laziness, and procrastination are often signs of lack of commitment.
If your resolutions haven’t worked well for you in the past, it’s likely because of one of the above reasons. This year, come up with fewer resolutions but make sure they are very specific, backed up with a full plan of action and have your total commitment. Then take the necessary action with perseverance, and review results often. In short, you need to know what you really want, by when and how… then act now!
I was fortunate to experience the African safari for a few days recently. Besides seeing the ‘big five’ and other wild animals up close, it was also a chance to see nature in its purest form. One of the bonuses was listening to the rangers sharing their knowledge about the animals and experiences in the wild. One of the most amazing narratives that I heard was about the birth of a baby giraffe. I didn’t quite believe it so I checked out the facts online before posting this. Here’s the story…
The bay giraffe falls into this world from eight feet above the ground. The mother giraffe lowers her neck and smooches the baby. Within minutes the baby starts to struggle to get up on its feet. It falls down a few times, but doesn’t give up until it is firmly on its feet, and then it starts walking around. Very often, if the baby doesn’t start struggling to get up, or if the baby gives up after falling down and lies still, the mother would kick it with her long leg that would send the baby flying up in the air and tumbling down on the ground. As the baby lies curled up, the mother kicks the baby again. And this goes on until the baby, still trembling and tired, learns to stand on its feet. Mama giraffe is delighted to see the baby on its feet and walking!
Why does the mother giraffe do that? Because the lions, leopards and hyenas love giraffe meat. And unless the bay giraffe quickly learns to stand and run with the pack, it will have no chance of survival. Most of us though are not quite as lucky as the baby giraffes. When we fail, when we are down, we often stay there. Nobody kicks us out of our comfort zone, to remind us to get back on our feet, to survive and succeed. It’s also an important lesson for the parents.
Many frequent travelers learn a few ‘tricks of the trade’ and develop certain attitudes that help them deal with the stress of traveling and keep sane. I believe some of these provide useful lessons for life:
Travel light. It’s perhaps the most important advice on traveling. Packing a smaller bag requires planning, discipline and focus on the essentials. It saves time at check-in counters. It’s easier to unpack. Less clutter means better focus, and fewer chances of leaving something behind. You can also move on at short notice. Doesn’t that apply to life too? Whether it’s your desk/desktop, wallet/purse/bag, wardrobe or the house… fewer things mean less clutter, less time wasted on finding stuff, less energy on the maintenance. The same applies to having thousands of ‘friends’ on Facebook, receiving tons of junk mail, maintaining dozens of credit cards… the list goes on. Less is more; lighter the better; quality over quantity.
Be prepared for surprises. You learn during traveling that everything is not in your control, and things don’t always go as planned. Flights can be delayed or cancelled; your special meal onboard is often mixed up; bags don’t always make the connection; hotels can be over-booked; Internet doesn’t always work… And it’s not because the world is conspiring against you and everyone is out to get you. You can accept these situations with calm or fight and argue and get upset. I often remind upset fellow passengers: There are usually three reasons for a flight to be delayed: there’s something wrong with the plane, or the pilot, or the weather. And I am glad they have found out while we are still on the ground. The same applies to life. Despite great intentions and excellent planning, things do go wrong. And we have to learn to distinguish between situations (that can’t be changed) and problems (that can be solved). Unfortunately, so many people waste so much of their time and energy fighting with situations.
“We don’t get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent. Life is brief, and then you die, you know? And we’ve all chosen to do this with our lives. So it better be damn good. It better be worth it.” (Fortune)
“Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water or do you want a chance to change the world?” (Macstories.net)
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” (Stanford University commencement address, June 2005)
“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful … that’s what matters to me.” (Wall Street Journal 1993, shared by UK Guardian)
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square hole; the ones who see things differently; they’re not fond of rules. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” (Think Different, narrated by Steve Jobs)
“When you are interested, you do what’s convenient. When you are committed, you do whatever it takes.”
This post is inspired by someone I met today in Colombo. When he decided to move back to Sri Lanka from the Middle East 15 years ago, his wife wasn’t too happy with the decision. She loved Dubai too much. This man promised his wife that he’ll bring her to Dubai for at least ten days every year. And he hasn’t missed a year since. He told me it was difficult at times to take the ten days off because of work pressure, or other priorities, ‘but a promise is a promise’.
How often do we sabotage our relationships, health, productivity, talent, dreams… by not fulfilling the commitments that we make to ourselves or others. Whether big or small, every broken promise adds up to create an unhappy situation. Some of the most commonly broken promises I can think of:
To our loved ones: I’ll call you back in a minute. I’ll do it during the weekend. I’ll be there for the… (birthday party or the game or the parent-teacher meeting). We’ll take a vacation this year.
To our kids: We’ll read it tonight. Yes, I’ll help with your math. I’ll fix it tomorrow. We’ll go there during the weekend.
At work: I am working on it. I’ll email you today. I’ll clean up my desk. I’ll call you back. I’ll learn the new… (skill, system, program, equipment) soon.
To ourselves: I’ll start exercising. I’ll read that book. I’ll eat healthy. I’m off desserts. I quit coffee. I’ll wake up earlier. I’ll clean up. I’ll volunteer. I’ll start saving.
And I am as guilty as anybody else. Let’s promise to keep our promises. And commit to fulfill our commitments.
There’s something good in every person, place and situation. So it is with summer. We can complain about the heat and sweat or remind ourselves of all the goodness that every weather brings. Few benefits of summer that I can think of:
Detox through sweating. Our skin plays a major role in the detoxification alongside the lungs, kidneys, bowels, liver and the immune system. Sweat carries toxins out of the body and flushes them through the pores. Sweating also helps to regulate body’s temperature. Sweating is a natural sauna!
Free Vitamin D. Vitamin D is essential for healthy immune system, is a potent anti-inflamatory, helps regulate blood sugar levels, helps lower blood pressure… and many more benefits are still being discovered. People would pay any price to get this vitamin, but you can get it free from the sun!
More time outdoors. Summer provides an excellent opportunity to switch off the TV, computer and spend more time outdoors. Whether it’s hiking or cycling in the countryside, swimming in the pool or at a beach, walking barefoot in a lawn or at a beach… summer is a great time to enjoy the outdoors with family and friends!
What other benefits can you think of? Please share through comments.
[Photo of a monkey we spotted during the MacLehose stage 5 in Hong Kong a couple of day ago.]
I turned 46 this month. And this birthday, I asked myself a few questions:
If I could start over, what would I do differently?
What would I not change at all?
What have I learnt?
What do I want to be five years from now, and ten, twenty…?
And I share some of the answers to #1, hoping that the exercise would inspire you as much:
I would sleep less, and read more.
I would eat less, and work out more.
I would complain less, and compliment more.
I would spend fewer weekends at work, and more at home.
I would spend more time alone with the one I love.
I would read more with my kids when they were young.
I would talk/listen to my parents more often.
I would watch less TV and fewer movies.
I would spend less on things, and more on experiences.
I would save more for travel; I would see more of this world.
I would start a foundation to educate the poor, or support such foundations.
I would write a diary of things I learnt.
I would learn languages, cooking, playing a flute, rock climbing…
I would stay in touch with more friends and more family members.
I would plan less, act more.
I would worry less, breathe more, pray more.
I realized that while I can’t go back in time, I can still make many of these changes today. I can’t change the past but I can change my today, and tomorrow. I have started on the list, and it feels great!
What would you like to do differently with your life?
[Photo of the Hunchbacks taken yesterday during the stage 4 of MacLehose Trail in Hong Kong]
How different would our days (and therefore life) be if we noticed, acknowledged, enjoyed and were grateful for even half the things we take for granted every day? Would we be happier, more cheerful and have more enthusiasm? Would we complain less? You bet.
Right now, I am grateful for the long battery life on my mac, the comfortable sofa, the cushion on my lap absorbing the heat from the notebook, the lamp, the cool breeze from the window, the family sleeping quietly, the calm of the morning (4 AM), WordPress, Facebook, people who ask me when they don’t see a new post on my blog… a fridge full of stuff, mostly healthy!
Please share through comments (here or on my Facebook page) what else we usually take for granted, every day. Thanks for reading and sharing.
[Self photography during a beautiful drive in Surabaya yesterday, feeling the rain and breeze]
[Repost from April 2009] This poem continues to be one of the most inspiring pieces for over ten years. It’s been published in many forms. Here’s part of it:
I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning…to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth… and now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own; the cars….the house…the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
It’s not often that I get a forwarded email with good content. This came from a friend yesterday, without the name of the author or the source. And I am copying it as is, because I believe this is true. I have been practicing and preaching this concept for many years. Try it…
Did you know that you can actually “trick” your brain into thinking you’re happy? Dr. David Lykken, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at theUniversity of Minnesota says, “Emotions are a combination of internal feelings and physical responses that provide feedback to your brain.” In effect, you can consciously initiate or provide the mental and physical conditions that your brain will naturally translate into feelings and emotions — you basically have the power to influence your mood. Try it for yourself.
Smile even when you don’t feel like it. You’ll think it’s silly but studies have shown that people who force themselves to smile eventually develop a more positive attitude towards challenges and setbacks. Smile the moment you wake up. Smile as you put yourself to sleep. Smile at everyone you meet.
Laugh at the pettiest things. Get some air into those lungs! More oxygen, more energy, brighter day! Ten minutes of laughter a day –- that’s all you need to ensure a life of contentment. You’ll be surprised that in Asia, some companies have employed a daily “laughter break”. Employees have to walk to a park, form a circle, and force themselves to laugh non-stop for 15 minutes. Company executives swear that this relaxation break has caused worker enthusiasm and productivity to soar!
Stand tall and walk fast. Remember your teacher in second grade? She tapped you with a ruler, screaming, “No slouching! Chin up! Walk tall!” You had no idea that she wasn’t just insisting on good posture, she was also making sure you developed a bright and confident outlook in life!
Stretch – better yet, exercise! Don’t “think” about your workout, just do it! If you pause, to think about the sweat, the pain, the monotony and the time, you’ll find one excuse or other not to do it. So, don’t rationalize. Just get up and do it. You know that at the end of the workout, you’ll feel good you did it. And if you’re not exactly the workout kind, try dancing!
Think only positive thoughts, speak only positive words. Every time you start to think or say something negative, stop. Change your sentences into the positive. Pessimists complain about their problems; optimists think of solutions. Advise, rather than criticize. Encourage, inspire, motivate –- yourself and others. Pick up a lesson, rather than blame. And always count your blessings.
These are just a few of the many ways you can jumpstart an overall feeling of happiness and contentment. Remember that your emotions are dictated by your perception of the world around you. And your reactions are a product of choice — you can “choose” to be happy, angry or sad. As Ecrivain Lesage wrote in “Histoire de Gil Blas” in 1735, “I am happy and content because I think I am.”
[Photo from the window seat while flying from Dubai to Colombo]
Someone in my family died a couple of days ago. A wonderful and kind woman who had been fighting a disease for a long time. And there are two other people, very close to me, who are struggling for life – a two and a half year old and a 60 year old.
We have no control over when and how we will die. But we can choose how we live – with gratefulness, happiness, peace, contentment, love, laughter, fulfillment, forgiveness, action… or with complaints, anger, worries, greed, hate, jealousy, procrastination…
“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrow.” (Pope Paul)
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” (Mahatma Gandhi)
“As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death.” (George Bernard Shaw)
“As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.” (Leonardo Da Vinci)
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” (Mark Twain)
“Death is not the greatest of loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” (Norman Cousins)
“Have courage to live. Anyone can die.” (Robert Cody)
“A man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life.” (Charles Darwin)
“A man whose today is the same as yesterday is as good as dead.” (Imam Ali)
It’s wonderful to see most people getting excited about the new year – the greetings, fireworks, cheer, and most importantly, the optimism for the year ahead.
I wonder why can’t we greet each new day with the same cheer and optimism. Isn’t waking up each morning a reason to be grateful and happy? Isn’t every day a chance to celebrate life and everything it has to offer? If that seems a bit too extreme, then how about ‘happy new week’? Could we not be as excited about the challenges and surprises that each new week brings?
This year try new month resolutions at the start of every new month. I can tell you from experience, they work much better than new year resolutions.
Next time you get a ‘happy new day’ or a ‘happy new week’ greeting from me, you’ll know why
PS. I started a Mush’s Page on Facebook to spread the ideas about enhancing life further. It also makes it easier for you to ‘like’, ‘comment’ or ‘share’ with just one click. Check it out.
