I’ve lived with this mantra for over five years now, so I was obviously very interested to watch Graham Hill’s talk on TED with that title. He has summarized the benefits very well, but he doesn’t tell us what did he do with all his collections, possessions and stuff. Here’s my story and tips:
When I started the process of reducing my possessions and simplifying my life, I started with the biggest chunk – my collection of books. I realized I wasn’t going to re-read most of them. My hope that my kids would read them all one day wasn’t realistic because they don’t have the same interests as mine. So I gave them all away to friends or charity. I also got rid of the book shelf, so that the books I continue to buy must be given away soon after I finish reading them. Since the iPad, I only buy digital books. They are cheaper, easy to store/backup and environment friendly. You can increase the font size and brightness; you can highlight passages; you can call up a dictionary by just touching the word. And if you really miss the touch and feel and smell of real books, you can visit the book store once a while and get all that for free. I have also tried audio books, and they have their benefits too.
Then I was able to simplify my entire wardrobe to fit into ten hangers and one drawer – plus a small suitcase with winter stuff on one side and special occasion stuff on the other. I took most of the unnecessary clutter out of my life – excessive suits, shoes, belts, ties, watches (I’ve actually stopped wearing a watch), videos, CDs etc. I still need to finish scanning the photos and get rid of the albums. All of this means, I need less space for my possessions and less maintenance time. I can focus on quality instead of quantity/variety. I only buy things that I really need and have space for. If I buy a new shirt, an old shirt has to go.
My travel bag has got smaller and smaller, regardless of the length of the trip, and is now down to a small carry-on, without the additional backpack that used to go with it. I still take all the photos and make all the movies with my pocket Canon Ixus. That means I can pack easily and quickly, travel much lighter and move around easily. I have applied the same principle to my work i.e. office space and desk. It’s all easier said than done, but extremely rewarding and worthwhile. I believe it makes you more productive, more efficient, lighter and happier!
[Photo of my travel bags taken just now in the hotel room. The shoulder bag has the camera, spare battery, spare SD cards, phone, wallet, passport, charger, pens and few other essentials]
A new day in Africa! (Sunrise at Hoedspruit, December 2011)
Most of the research suggests that majority of the people do not stick to their resolutions beyond a couple of weeks or months, if at all. And most of the goals established before the New Year end up way short of achievement. Having spent almost 30 years doing resolutions (a few times every year) and working with thousands of salespeople and managers who established annual goals, here’s what I think causes any New Year resolution to fail:
Too casual. Some people come up with resolutions for the sake of resolutions, without giving serious consideration to what they really want.
Not committed enough. Any resolution without total commitment is as good as a dream.
Not specific enough. ‘I’ll lose weight’, ‘I’ll save money’, ‘I’ll travel’ are all examples of non-specific resolutions.
No deadlines. Open-ended resolutions like ‘I’ll quit smoking’ are like any other promise without a time frame that we can easily postpone.
No planning. A resolution without a plan is like a destination without a road map – without knowing how to get there.
No follow-up. Milestones and checkpoints are critical in any journey. Resolutions that are not reviewed periodically often come to haunt us at the end of the year.
No action. You know where you want to go, and how to get there, but you can’t there unless you start moving. Lack of action, laziness, and procrastination are often signs of lack of commitment.
If your resolutions haven’t worked well for you in the past, it’s likely because of one of the above reasons. This year, come up with fewer resolutions but make sure they are very specific, backed up with a full plan of action and have your total commitment. Then take the necessary action with perseverance, and review results often. In short, you need to know what you really want, by when and how… then act now!
I had been putting off writing this piece for two days. Procrastination is a very strange phenomenon. We know something must be done now, but we delay it. It can be a phone call to mom, an email to a customer, a report to the boss, getting up on time, making an important decision, ending a bad habit, starting a good one, saying some nice words, apologizing for a mistake, it can be small tasks or big projects… but we often delay it despite expecting to be worse off due to the delay. We know that procrastination can cost us money, health, relationships, productivity or social disapproval for not meeting responsibilities or commitments… but we procrastinate. Procrastination is not always inaction. Very often, we get busy with less important or less urgent tasks to avoid the high-priority actions. Few reasons why we procrastinate, and some ideas on what to do about it:
Lack of passion. Sometimes the important and urgent task is too boring. I can’t get passionate about sorting through the physical mail, paying the bills (though online), filing the receipts and so on. So here’s what I did. Firstly, I scheduled this task for Sunday mornings, so the pile of envelopes doesn’t bother me all week. Secondly, I systematically unsubscribed from many mailing lists. That required some time over the phone and some emails, but it was worthwhile. I also put as many bills as possible on auto-pay. Now I have a much smaller pile to deal with every Sunday morning. The idea is to get rid of, or minimize the unpleasant tasks in your life. Sometimes you can trade boring tasks with colleagues or members of the family. I’ll do your Powerpoint presentation; you do my Excel report. I’ll edit the photos; you do the filing. At home, I take care of all IT stuff; Salma looks after mechanical issues. I am responsible for all issues with schools and education; she looks after all the shopping and food. I do the paper work; she checks credit card statements…and so on.
Lack of skill. Very often, we put things off because we are not good at them, or we just don’t know how to do them. The obvious way to deal with this is to learn. I knew somebody who dreaded the monthly reports because she wasn’t good at Excel. She used to make mistakes and feel stressed. So obviously, she would put it off until the very last minute, which would make it even worse. Until one day, she figured she had to learn it and get good at it. Once the stress of making mistakes and the fear of failure was gone, the task wasn’t as dreadful and the procrastination was also gone. Why do you think most salespeople procrastinate calling up the upset customer, or delay in resolving any conflicts, or put off the diet plan – because they are not good at these things and there’s a fear of failure.
Please let me know if you found the above useful. And guess what the third reason is. Then stay tuned for part 2. [A recent photo of sunset through a window - one of those things that can't wait.]
“When you are interested, you do what’s convenient. When you are committed, you do whatever it takes.”
This post is inspired by someone I met today in Colombo. When he decided to move back to Sri Lanka from the Middle East 15 years ago, his wife wasn’t too happy with the decision. She loved Dubai too much. This man promised his wife that he’ll bring her to Dubai for at least ten days every year. And he hasn’t missed a year since. He told me it was difficult at times to take the ten days off because of work pressure, or other priorities, ‘but a promise is a promise’.
How often do we sabotage our relationships, health, productivity, talent, dreams… by not fulfilling the commitments that we make to ourselves or others. Whether big or small, every broken promise adds up to create an unhappy situation. Some of the most commonly broken promises I can think of:
To our loved ones: I’ll call you back in a minute. I’ll do it during the weekend. I’ll be there for the… (birthday party or the game or the parent-teacher meeting). We’ll take a vacation this year.
To our kids: We’ll read it tonight. Yes, I’ll help with your math. I’ll fix it tomorrow. We’ll go there during the weekend.
At work: I am working on it. I’ll email you today. I’ll clean up my desk. I’ll call you back. I’ll learn the new… (skill, system, program, equipment) soon.
To ourselves: I’ll start exercising. I’ll read that book. I’ll eat healthy. I’m off desserts. I quit coffee. I’ll wake up earlier. I’ll clean up. I’ll volunteer. I’ll start saving.
And I am as guilty as anybody else. Let’s promise to keep our promises. And commit to fulfill our commitments.
[A re-post from June 2009] Most people seem to start their day in a rush – rushing to get ready, rushing with the breakfast, rushing to work. These people often spend their entire day in a rush, playing catch-up with the rest of the world. This can be easily avoided by getting up a little earlier. There are many other benefits of getting up early, but I will list the five that have always worked for me:
Gratefulness. It’s difficult to be grateful for the moment when you are getting late for work. But if you don’t have to rush, you can enjoy every moment. And be grateful for being alive today, for the health you have, for the comforts of your home, for the family you have, for the food you eat, for the work you do…
Bonus Hour. Most of us complain of not having enough time for the things we want to do e.g. exercise, reading, or pursuing other interests and ambitions like learning a language, writing a book, starting a blog. The easiest way to achieve these is by giving yourself 30 minutes or an hour of bonus time in the morning.
Quiet Time. There’s something special about the calm of the morning – no sounds from TV, kids, phones or traffic. There’s also less clutter in your mind which allows you to think and concentrate better. Any brain work that takes hours during the day can sometimes be achieved in half the time if done early morning.
Beat the Rush. Your commute time will cut down if you leave home before the rush hour. You’ll spend less time queuing up for elevators. You’ll have to get used to the emptiness – at the gym or pool, on the road, in the train, at the office… everywhere.
Get Ahead. Getting to work half an hour before everybody else gives you time to plan, prioritize and organize. Less distractions of the phone, email and people can allow you to focus better on the most important tasks of the day. You get more done, and leave on time, again beating the rush hour.
Even if you work from home, there’s plenty of reason to start the day before everyone else does. And if you are a housewife, who usually spends the day taking care of others, this could be your time, to do the things just for yourself! Please share your comments and tips.
Richard Stengel writes in Mandela’s Way, the biography of Nelson Mandela:
“Some call it a blind spot, other naivete, but Mandela sees almost everyone as virtuous until proven otherwise. He starts with an assumption that you are dealing with him in good faith. He believes that, just as pretending to be brave can lead to acts of real bravery, seeing the good in other people improves the chances that they will reveal their better selves.”
My humble additions:
People are mostly good, honest and helpful – regardless of their origin, religion or race.
There’s some good and bad in every person, place and situation. We can choose to focus on the good or the bad.
An excellent post by Leo in Mnmlist.com – one of my favorite blogs:
When our houses or offices get piled with clutter, much of the reason is procrastination.
We all procrastinate — let’s just get that out in the open. There’s not a one of us who doesn’t, to some degree. But while our tasks and projects can pile up, giving us some anxiety, the clutter is a visual sign of that procrastination, and carries with it just as much anxiety.
When we put down an object, a piece of paper, an article of clothing, a stack of mail … and we leave it there, undealt with, saying that we’ll put it away or deal with it later … that’s procrastination.
Unfortunately, this piles up, accumulates over time, and then we’re stuck with a mountain of clutter that’s too overwhelming to deal with. You’ll need to deal with that mountain. I’ve shown you some methods. Get it down to minimal, and enjoy that.
But once you’ve dealt with the mountain, you need to stop it from happening again. That’s where beating your procrastination habits becomes so important. When you’re going to put something down, deal with it right now. It only takes a few seconds.
How long does it take to put dirty clothes in the hamper, or hang up a shirt that’s still clean? Like 15 seconds. How long does it take to sort through some mail, opening the envelopes right there, setting aside a few bills to be paid, filing a couple things, tossing the rest? Three minutes. How long does it take to put a book or magazine away? To put a piece of paper in the right file, or toss it? Seconds.
When you deal with things in tiny little bits like this, before they build up, it’s easy. Deal with them while they’re easy so you don’t have to deal with them when they’re hard.
I just finished reading this wonderful book by Leo Babauta. It’s an important reminder of the importance of focus in this age of distraction, and how to achieve it. The book is available for free and is ‘un-copyrighted’ by the author so you can share it with as many people as you want. Just click on the image to download the PDF version.
It’s an essential guide for everyone who needs to focus, and covers lots of useful stuff like:
Here’s a collection of links to some of the most popular posts on my blog during the last 12 months. I hope you find them useful and consider sharing with friends. These may have some ideas for your New Year Resolutions too:
Interesting presentation about how women are surpassing men in so many areas, not just in the US but globally. The era of male dominance is slowly coming to end as women gain more power in this postindustrial economy.
Another reason to show more respect towards our womenfolk
Having spent ten days in Australia, I was reminded of the many good things about the Aussies:
Good day, mate! It’s the local greeting but also an attitude of happiness and friendliness. You can only greet each other with enthusiasm if you are really happy and grateful with your life. Otherwise, it will be the usual ‘how are you?’ and ‘not bad’. That attitude is also reflected in their choice of vocabulary. It’s not ‘nice’, it’s ‘fantastic!’ or ‘awesome!’ Simply put, ‘life is good!’
Work to live. Most Aussies don’t live to work. A standard working day for most offices is 8-4:30 and 9:30-5:30 for most shops. This means more time for life outside of work – family, socializing, sports and hobbies. Yes, many Australians actually have hobbies like gardening, woodworking etc. Do they get less work done compared to those who regularly work overtime in many other countries? I don’t think so.
Sunday is family day. Unlike many of us, most Aussies actually have a ‘plan’ for Sundays. And the key elements of the plan are family and outdoors – beach, picnics, parks, hikes. That’s not only great bonding time for the family, but also very healthy.
No worries, mate! That’s also more of an attitude than just another local phrase you hear often. Aussies seem to genuinely believe that no problem is big enough to worry; given some time, most situations sort themselves out; getting stressed doesn’t make things easier. I wonder if they have one of the lowest rates of stress-related illnesses in the world.
Play to win. Aussies are clearly one of the most competitive people, and it’s not just in sports. I think they generally like to excel at whatever they do – be it making a coffee, raising a child or winning an olympic gold. This is also obvious in a higher standard of services.
I am sure some readers will have many negative things to say about the Aussies. Every one of us, every nation, every place has negatives and positives. But I find myself much happier when focusing on the good rather than the bad, particularly when I am traveling. Please share your positive thoughts about your favorite place.
Whether you are starting fresh, have just been set free (fired) or are in between jobs, looking for a new job can be extremely frustrating. Here are some tips to keep you sane, make the most of the time and even increase your chances of landing a job:
Make the best of your time. While most people complain about not having enough time to do everything they want to do, you have all the time in the world. You can waste it by sleeping more, watching more TV, spending more time on the Internet etc. Or you can do more productive things like reading, writing, exercise, travel etc. But the best investment of your time is in learning things that will increase your ‘market value’ e.g. learn a language; teach yourself advanced computer skills; start a blog on something you care about… Wake up at six in the morning and do one or more of these as a “job”.
Stay motivated. You hear about the bad economy, increased competition, unemployment rate, market conditions etc. but you manage to motivate yourself and start sending lots of applications. After a few interviews the ‘facts’ start to sink in and you start getting depressed. You allow your self-esteem and your confidence level to drop. Now you are not as enthusiastic and motivated at interviews; you get some more rejections; you get even more depressed… and the cycle repeats itself. Don’t let that happen. Be prepared for 100 interviews before getting a job, and do your best at every one of them. See each interview as part of the process, as another step towards the destination.
Use all the resources. Remember that somebody somewhere wants to hire someone exactly like you. The more you reach out, the better your chances of connecting with that someone. Find job listings in every newspaper, magazine and website. Talk to headhunters – they are not just for top-level jobs. Connect with everyone you have ever known; social media like Facebook, Linkedin etc. make it easier than ever to find long lost friends and make new ones. Don’t be shy in letting the world know that Read the rest of this entry »
I was in a business meeting recently where the other person kept looking at his phone for messages or emails every time it vibrated. He even typed a couple of messages during the hour long meeting while we exchanged important information and discussed a possible business relationship. Do you think I want to do business with this person?
I was reminded of a time when an estate agent was showing me an apartment when his phone rang and he started chatting non-stop. After waiting for about five minutes, I just walked out of the apartment. When he called back to ask what had happened, I told him exactly what had happened and never met him again.
Whether you are in an important business meeting, or having quality time with a loved one, responding to a call or looking at messages/emails only communicates one thing to the other person: You are not as important as the person calling/messaging/emailing me right now. I think these are some of the worst uses of your mobile phone:
Holding it in your hand or placing it in front of you during a business or personal meeting. If you are expecting a call, let the other person know.
Looking at it every now and then, and reading emails/messages during important conversations. If you must read or send an urgent message, please excuse first.
Immersing yourself in your phone when in a social gathering. That only means: Do not disturb, or I am not interested in any conversation.
Talking loudly on your phone in a public place without any consideration for other people. Either talk softly, or move away from the people.
Typing on your phone while walking, and expecting other people to watch and move out of your way. Ever seen a collision of two people typing on their phones without looking up?
It’s funny how we use our mobile phones to connect with everyone in the world, and often forget to connect with all the people around us – often the most important people in our lives that we just take for granted.
In every situation or problem, we have a choice to respond or react. And our choice determines how we get affected by the situation or problem. My favorite example is that of a delayed flight. Most passengers choose to react by asking for an explanation for the delay, calling up family and friends to share the anger (‘why does it always happen to me?‘), demanding to ‘speak with the manager’, expecting free meals, continuing to be angry even after taking off and landing at the destination and perhaps for the rest of the day. If you choose to respond, you could be grateful that they found out the problem with the plane or the pilot or the weather while you are still on the ground, rather than finding out when you are 35,000 feet up in the air. You could catch up on some phone calls or shopping or reading, or simply enjoy doing nothing for a change. If the flight has been indefinitely delayed, you can also respond by trying to find another connection to your destination.
When someone criticizes you, you can react by offering explanations or starting an argument. Or you can respond by trying to understand the other person’s perspective, by accepting that you aren’t perfect and by being grateful that someone cared enough to tell you about your weakness. Read the rest of this entry »
I have wondered about these questions for many years: Why most people can’t fulfill their dreams? Why most goals are not achieved? Why most plans don’t work out? Why so much action doesn’t produce the desired results?
Working with thousands of salespeople and sales managers for over 20 years, I have learnt that there are only four reasons. Whether it’s about your career, health, money, relationships or any other goals that you fall short of, it is because:
You don’t really want it. Whatever ‘it’ is that you are after. Are you having sleepless nights thinking and planning for it? What if you don’t get it? Will you settle without it? Do you have a specific time frame in mind? These questions can help you determine if you really want something badly enough. Otherwise, it’s not even a goal – just one of those wishes which may or may not be fulfilled. And you will be OK either way.
You don’t believe it’s possible. It’s an inner voice that tells you, you can’t do it. ‘I can never lose so much weight.’ ‘I don’t think I am made for this.’ ‘It’s just not worth it.’ You believe you don’t have what it takes – the talent, opportunity, looks or whatever.
You don’t know how. You don’t have the knowledge or the skills required to achieve the goal, and worse still, you don’t know that. Like the salesperson who doesn’t put in the time and effort to learn the product or the skills. Or like someone who spends an hour working out every day without knowing the basics of fitness or nutrition.
You aren’t willing to pay the price. In other words, you don’t take any action towards your goal. You are lazy; you procrastinate. As someone said, ‘If you are only interested, you will do what’s convenient. If you are committed, you will do whatever it takes!’
Do you know of any other reasons? Knowing what’s holding you back is a big first step towards achievement of your goals – unless you are #4.
I know someone whom I have started calling a ‘Maybe Person’.
“Are we meeting this weekend?” “Maybe. I’ll let you know.”
“Are you planning to take any days off?” “Maybe. I am still thinking.”
“I really need to start exercising. Maybe I’ll start jogging, or perhaps swimming, hopefully soon.”
“I don’t want to miss that movie. Maybe this weekend. Or maybe next Tuesday.”
“I may be late.” “I may want to borrow that book.” “I may not be able to do that.”
I am not close enough to this person to figure out whether it’s lack of commitment or procrastination or just indecisiveness. But there’s an obvious lack of certainly and absence of any passion for life. Can a Maybe person ever lead others, inspire someone, be fun to be with, be reliable and dependable? I doubt it.
Do you know anyone like that? How does it feel to be with a Maybe person?
Why do they keep only small size plates with food in most airline lounges? Do they expect people to eat less while traveling, or do they want them to eat less? I think the latter. There’s only so much you can fill up in a small plate; and there are only so many rounds you can make to the buffet tables. I think it’s an effective strategy. And I believe the concept could apply to many things in life…
A smaller apartment could encourage you to minimize your possessions. A smaller office could help you keep it clutter-free. A smaller bag could mean traveling light. A smaller wallet would have fewer essentials. A smaller fridge could help eat more fresh foods. What else can you add to the list?
In an earlier post I wrote about the pros and cons of audiobooks. The article was quite popular and did a few rounds around cyberspace. Check it out if you had missed it.
Since writing that post, I have become a big fan of audiobooks. I often listen to them while driving (alone), taking long walks and during sleepless nights on long flights. Besides the seven advantages I listed in the earlier post, I also find it easier to preview an audio version before buying a hardcopy.
Audible has become my favorite place to download audiobooks. There are different subscription plans that offer up to 30% savings and let you download a book of your choice every month. There are thousands of books in various categories, both fiction and non-fiction. If you have a computer with iTune and an MP3 player, try it once. ‘No time to read’ is no more an excuse!
PS. Just downloaded Crush It! by Gary Vaynerchuk for the overnight flight to Dubai – in case none of my fellow passengers wants to tell me her life story Off to a bookshop now to buy a real book, just in case the battery on my iPhone runs out
Someone recently asked me how I always manage to be on time. My response was, ‘It’s not how, it’s why’. Being on time is easy, if you really want to. Few reasons why being late is bad, whether it’s for business, personal, family or social commitments:
It shows our lack of interest, commitment or passion. Why would anyone hire a person who is late for an interview? Or do business with someone who can’t keep the first commitment? How could a relationship be a priority if our appointments with our loved ones are the first to be compromised?
It demonstrates lack of respect for other people’s time. How do you feel when you somehow manage to show up on time, and then have to wait for the other person?
It sets the wrong example for our family, friends and co-workers – especially for people who look up to us e.g. our children, students or subordinates.
Now some tips on how to be on time:
Give importance. Decide to be on time. Don’t participate in anything half-heartedly.
Plan ahead. Be realistic about how long does it take to get ready and get there. Expect the traffic and other things to go wrong.
Positive affirmations. Telling yourself, ‘I am always on time’ works better than ‘I am always late!’
“I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time.” (Charles Dickens)
I’ve lived with this mantra for over five years now, so I was obviously very interested to watch Graham Hill’s talk on TED with that title. He has summarized the benefits very well, but he doesn’t tell us what did he do with all his collections, possessions and stuff. Here’s my story and tips:
