We are all affected by stress at some level or another, though we don’t like to admit it. Stress can be positive when it helps you achieve your goals, or implement a change in your lifestyle. But it’s obviously negative when it results in anxiety, depression and illness. This article can help you identify, prevent and deal with stress.
Work-related: This includes deadlines, overload of work, conflicts with the boss or co-workers, job insecurity, lack of recognition etc.
Money-related: Financial crisis, credit card debt, mortgage, loss of job or just lack of money to do the things you really want
Relationship-related: Lack of communication, understanding and trust with your partner, parents, kids or close friends
General lack of fulfillment: Unfulfilled dreams and ambitions; failure in job or relationships
Attitudes that cause stress: Certain traits and ways of seeing the world can cause stress. E.g. Pessimism, perfectionism, addictions, poor communication, anger, obsessing and other such negative behavior.
SYMPTOMS OF STRESS
One or more of the following symptoms could mean that you are going through stress:
Headaches: Certain types of headaches can be related to stress.
More frequent colds or flu: There’s an inverse relationship between stress and immunity, so if you’re under too much stress, you may be getting sick more often.
Sleep problems: There are many ways that stress affects sleep. Too much stress can rob you of sleep and make the sleep you get less restorative.
General anxiety: Anxiety does serve an important function for survival, but if you’re feeling anxious much of the time, it could be because you have too many stressors in your life.
Fuzzy thinking: Your body’s stress response pumps your body with hormones that make it possible for you to fight or flee quickly. But when triggered in excess, this stress response can actually cause you to think less quickly. Read the rest of this entry »
An orchestra conductor faces the ultimate leadership challenge: creating perfect harmony without saying a word. In this charming talk, Itay Talgam demonstrates the unique styles of six great 20th-century conductors, illustrating crucial lessons for all leaders.
I have wondered about these questions for many years: Why most people can’t fulfill their dreams? Why most goals are not achieved? Why most plans don’t work out? Why so much action doesn’t produce the desired results?
Working with thousands of salespeople and sales managers for over 20 years, I have learnt that there are only four reasons. Whether it’s about your career, health, money, relationships or any other goals that you fall short of, it must be because:
You don’t really want it. Whatever ‘it’ is that you are after. Are you having sleepless nights thinking and planning for it? What if you don’t get it? Will you settle without it? Do you have a specific time frame in mind? These questions can help you determine if you really want something badly enough. Otherwise, it’s not even a goal – just one of those wishes which may or may not be fulfilled. And you will be OK either way.
You don’t believe it’s possible. It’s an inner voice that tells you, you can’t do it. ‘I can never lose so much weight.’ ‘I don’t think I am made for this.’ ‘It’s just not worth it.’ You believe you don’t have what it takes – the talent, opportunity, looks or whatever. Read the rest of this entry »
We just celebrated our 24th marriage anniversary and it’s been over 25 years since we started seeing each other. We consider ourselves very fortunate to enjoy a great relationship and still be in love. Considering that we are so different from each other in so many ways and that we rarely agree on anything, we often wonder what has kept us so happy together. It’s a few things.
We realize and accept the fact that everyone is different; everyone has his or her strengths and weaknesses. We don’t try to change the other. We choose to focus on the strengths and accept the weaknesses – unless one needs help and encouragement in overcoming a certain weakness. We have come to understand that being in love is not enough for a happy marriage. Happy partners choose to be happy, and they do certain things in a certain way. We have been following a certain unwritten code of conduct about how we treat each other and how we deal with our differences.
Communication is the key. Like in any other relationship, good communication is the key to a happy marriage. You don’t need a degree in communications; it’s mostly common sense. It’s Ok to argue, but you must follow certain rules. Few tips to enhance communication with your partner: Read the rest of this entry »
According to Duke University researchers, we are not only attracted to people who smile but we also tend to remember their names. In a 2008 fMRI study, Professor Takashi Tsukiura and Roberto Cabeza showed subjects pictures of smiling and unsmiling individuals, followed by their names. The results found that their subjects’ orbitofrontal cortices – the region of the brain associated with reward processing – were more active when the subjects were learning and recalling the names of smiling individuals. “We are sensitive to positive social signals. We want to remember people who were kind to us, in case we interact with them in the future.”
Isn’t it great to see science backing up the affects of positive and negative attitudes? Let’s smile more often
In this deceptively simple 3-minute talk, Dr. Laura Trice muses on the power of the magic words “thank you” — to deepen a friendship, to repair a bond, to make sure another person knows what they mean to you. Try it.
During the last few days, I heard a lot of negative stuff about a variety of things:
About the city and the government – traffic is bad; roads are dirty; power failures don’t stop; the government is corrupt; business is down; inflation is up…
About people – she is disorganized; he is slow; they are not ambitious; she doesn’t get it; he doesn’t listen; how can people be so insensitive…
About future predictions – this country won’t make any progress; weather is only going to get worse; business will get tougher; you won’t understand…
It’s strange how some people have a mission in life – to spread gloom and pessimism. And how discussing any of this would help anyone. I wondered if there’s such a things as ‘brain mask’ that can protect you from the affects of negativity – like a face mask that protects you from catching germs. Here’s my strategy to deal with negative people, depending on the person and the situation: Read the rest of this entry »
If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.
If you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened, breathe. It will bring you back to the present.
If you are discouraged and have forgotten your purpose in life, breathe. It will remind you about how precious life is, and that each breath in this life is a gift you need to appreciate. Make the most of this gift.
If you have too many tasks to do, or are scattered during your workday, breathe. It will help bring you into focus, to concentrate on the most important task you need to be focusing on right now. Read the rest of this entry »
Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever. It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them. Life lived for tomorrow will always be just a day away from being realized.
The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.
When the pilot announced, “…and the ground temperature is 38 degrees centigrade”, I was excited. Because I was expecting 40-45 degrees. After all, it was Delhi and the month was June. During the next 24 hours, I heard many people complaining of the heat – taxi drivers, colleagues, friends etc. And I asked everyone the same questions: What do you expect? And I realized the power of these four magic words like never before. They seemed to diffuse the anger, put things in perspective, and even reduce the temperature a little bit!
The next time traffic bothers you, ask yourself these four magic words. What do you expect? Did you expect everyone else to stay at home today? Or did you expect everyone else to walk to work today? Or did you expect new roads and flyovers to come up during the night? Or did you expect everyone to move to the side and let your car or bus pass?
Have you noticed how parents expect their kids to behave like mature grown-ups – tidy room, homework on time, healthy eating habits and all. Teachers expect all students to be intelligent and interested in the subject. Salespeople expect an order on every presentation. Managers expect everyone to be competent and committed all the time. And the result is… anger, frustration, disappointment.
I know this seems to go against the philosophy of ‘expect the best’, ‘you get what you think of’ and ‘the secret: our thoughts become things’. But not really. Positive thinking is not about unrealistic expectations. I expect most people to be nice, but not all. I expect myself to be healthy, active and energetic most of the time – so it’s not hard for me to accept illness when it comes once in a while.
So, what do you expect? And do you always get what you expect?
One of the easiest ways to make your day is to make someone else’s day. It’s not possible to make someone else happy and not feel great about it yourself. And it doesn’t take much to make someone happy, especially strangers. Try a genuine compliment or a thank-you e.g.
Wow, very clean taxi!
You guys are really good; the queue is moving so fast! (Check-in counters at the airport)
Good job. Thank you! (Try that with a toilet cleaning staff and see what happens)
The food was nice, service was great and prices were OK too! (Ever asked to see the manager at the end of a great dining experience?)
Thank you so much; I really appreciate that!
Most people haven’t been complimented (or even talked to by a customer) in a long time, so it would mean the world to them. And how would you feel seeing that you have had such a positive impact on someone’s day/life? Of course, there will be some people with such low self-image that they won’t believe you or think you are being funny.
If you are fortunate enough to be in love with someone, remember the power of the three magic words. I love you! can help switch negative emotions to positive ones in a heartbeat.
Try it today. And tell us about your experience with compliments – both giving and receiving.
Country – lack of opportunities, education, wealth…
Circumstances – not luck, no money, no resources, no connections…
Age – too young, too old…
At work – industry, company, products, boss, colleagues…
If you are using one of these as excuses for not living your best life, think again! If you often find yourself saying: ‘I am late because of traffic’ or ‘I am overweight because of my genes’ or ‘I don’t have the time for _ because of _’ then you are the type who likes to fix the blame or give excuses instead of accepting responsibility.
Our poll on What Makes You Happy? has got over 200 votes so far. And ‘relationships’ has continued to be the winner, followed by health and career. Interesting, isn’t it? Question is, why most of us don’t spend most of our time, energy and money trying to enhance our relationships?
I received this essay through a friend of this family:
On 21st January, 1991, my parents were overjoyed on the arrival of their first baby, my elder brother. But the happiness was short-lived as within a few hours of delivery my mother noticed that his eyes were prominently protruding and were dull grey in colour. The doctor gave the terrible news that my brother was suffering from Congenital Glaucoma. This disease is incurable and with each passing day he would lose his sight if the eye pressure was not under control. My mother was totally shattered but she had to accept Naqi’s problem as a challenge. My mother had a dream that Naqi should go to normal school and never pity himself nor be pitied by others. So from that day she took up this challenge to accomplish her dream.
In Pakistan there were very few facilities for visually impaired children and I saw mother struggle since the beginning even though in the early years I was too young to understand the circumstances. My mother’s family is in India which meant that she had no support and it seemed to be very difficult to cope with Naqi’s problem. My mother went to all good schools but they refused to admit Naqi as he had a great difficulty in facing light or recognizing colors. She was determined and fortunately went to one of the best schools in Pakistan, Springfield where they offered her a job plus admitted Naqi on a trial basis. Read the rest of this entry »
But that’s just based on 81 votes! Do you think the results would change much if we had 800 votes instead? Please help get some more votes, and let’s find out.
A respected friend of mine asked me the purpose of this survey, and whether I guarantee confidentiality. Yes, absolutely. I can only see this chart – no names or anything else. And the purposes of the survey are a) personal curiosity and b) obtain interesting statistics to share with my readers. Fair enough?
What do you think really makes people happy? I have wondered this question for years. Is it money that allows you to buy the things and do the things that you like? Or is it strong relationships – people you love, and people who love you? Or is it success in your chosen career and the recognition that comes with it? Or optimum health, fitness and energy to enjoy life to the fullest? Or a religion that connects you to a higher being and guides you to do right? Or does it come from contribution to community or society or mankind or other life or our planet earth?
What makes you happy? Please take this poll and tell us. Please limit to three of the six choices. Get your friends to take this poll too. The more participants, the clearer the answer.
Early in my sales career, I had watched an inspiring video by Leo Buscaglia called The Politics of Love. His powerful presentation had a lasting impression on my heart and mind. Later, I read one of his books – Living, Learning and Loving – which was also one of the best books I’ve ever read. Today, I was searching for more of Leo’s work on the Internet and found lots of really inspiring stuff – books, quotes, audios, videos, sites! Some quotes:
Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.
Don’t spend your precious time asking “Why isn’t the world a better place?” It will only be time wasted. The question to ask is “How can I make it better?” To that there is an answer.
Our talents are the gift that God gives to us… What we make of our talents is our gift back to God.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
I was just looking; I wasn’t going to buy anything. Until I saw this little book with a bold red and white cover and an interesting title. In fact, I liked the subtitle even better. I read it on the flight back from Singapore last month, and started re-reading it this week. Here’s a piece from the Introduction:
You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. You see, success doesn’t just suddenly occur one day in someone’s life. For that matter, neither does failure. Each is a process. Every day of your life is merely a preparation for the next. What you become is the result of what you do today. In other words… you are preparing for something. The way you live your life today is preparing you for tomorrow. The questions is, What are you preparing for? As my father used to tell me when I was growing up, “You can pay now and play later, or you can play now and pay later. But either way, you are going to pay.”
The book has twelve chapters – a dozen to focus on daily: Attitude, Priorities, Health, Family, Thinking, Commitment, Finances, Faith, Relationships, Generosity, Values and Growth. I’ll be happy to give my copy to the first person who asks.
A true story of a dying professor who shares his wisdom with the author. Very inspiring and thought-provoking stuff on life, death, family, money, emotions, love and more. Here’s an excerpt from the Tuesday they talk about money:
“We’ve got a form of brainwashing going on in our country. Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More is good. More is good. We repeat it – and have it repeated to us – over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what’s really important anymore.
“Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And they wanted to tell you about it. ‘Guess what I got? Guess what I got?’ These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. But it never works. You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness. I can tell you, as I am sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you’re looking for, no matter how much of them you have.”
We just celebrated our 24th marriage anniversary and it’s been over 25 years since we started seeing each other. We consider ourselves very fortunate to enjoy a great relationship and still be in love. Considering that we are so different from each other in so many ways and that we rarely agree on anything, we often wonder what has kept us so happy together. It’s a few things.
During the last few days, I heard a lot of negative stuff about a variety of things:
A true story of a dying professor who shares his wisdom with the author. Very inspiring and thought-provoking stuff on life, death, family, money, emotions, love and more. Here’s an excerpt from the Tuesday they talk about money:
