Michael I. Norton is an Associate Professor of Business Administration in the Marketing Unit and Marvin Bower Fellow at the Harvard Business School. He holds a B.A. in Psychology and English from Williams and a Ph.D. in Psychology from Princeton. Prior to joining HBS, Professor Norton was a Fellow at the MIT Media Lab and MIT’s Sloan School of Management. His work has been published in a number of leading academic journals, including Science, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Psychological Science, and the Annual Review of Psychology, and has been covered in media outlets such as the Economist, the Financial Times, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and the Washington Post.

Trevor studied medicine when he was a youngster, but life events, such as marriage and kids, and the pressure of earning a living for the family, intervened, and he did not finish his medicine degree. He regretted that ever since. So when he retired and moved to Melbourne, he decided to go back to university and enrolled with Deakin University as a full-time student to study health science. As a mature age undergrad (probably the most matured on record), he put in extra efforts and achieved exceptional results. In the three years of studying, he got high distinctions in almost all subjects and numerous awards for being top of the class.

And finally, his dream just came true – he graduated with distinction and wore a mortar board on his head. He had self doubts about his ability to do a degree at this age. But apart from the strong desire of self-actualisation, he also wanted to set an example to his kids and grandkids – that if you put your mind to it, you’ll achieve great results despite the odds.

[Thanks to Priscilla Lunn for helping with the story. Here's another piece I had written about Trevor when he was retiring in 2009.]

Today (April 12) I turn 47 years old. It amazes me that I’ve been around that long. I feel like I’ve barely begun. As always, it’s an opportunity to reflect on what I’ve achieved, what I’ve learnt, and where do I want to be in five or ten years from now.

Through this photo book, I am sharing 47 tips on happiness, health, relationships and productivity – all of which can enhance life. The photos used in the book are from my personal collection. You can download the book by clicking on the book cover, or from this link. If you find this useful, please share with others too. I will consider that your birthday gift to me.

Current books on my iPad

I just finished reading this wonderful biography of Steve Jobs, and recommend this to anyone interested in leadership, management, business, marketing, sales, creativity, design… or just general inspiration about making the best of life. Here’s one of my favorite pieces from the book about Steve’s popular ‘reality distortion field’:

A lot of people distort reality, of course. When Jobs did so, it was often a tactic for accomplishing something. Wozniak… marveled at how effective it could be. “His reality distortion is when he has an illogical vision of the future, such as telling me that I could design the Breakout game in just a few days. You realize that it can’t be true, but he somehow makes it true.”

When members of the Mac team got ensnared in his reality distortion field, they were almost hypnotized. “He reminded me of Rasputin,” said Debi Coleman. “He laser-beamed in on you and didn’t blink. It didn’t matter if he was serving purple Kool-Aid. You drank it.” But like Wozniak, she believed that the reality distortion field was empowering: It enabled Jobs to inspire his team to change the course of computer history with a fraction of the resources of Xerox or IBM. “It was a self-fulfilling distortion,” she claimed. “You did the impossible, because you didn’t realize it was impossible.”

Here’s the link to order the digital, hard copy or audio version from Amazon. Any other great books you’d like to recommend?

1. Our happiness is not set in stone: Although our genes influence about 50% of the variation in our personal happiness, our circumstances (like income and environment) affect only about 10%. As much as 40% is accounted for by our daily activities and the conscious choices we make. So the good news is that our actions really can make a difference.
2. Optimism helps us achieve our goals: Research shows that people who are optimistic tend to be happier, healthier and cope better in tough times.
3. Positive emotions make us more resilient: Our emotions affect our long-term well-being. Research shows that experiencing positive emotions in a 3-to-1 ratio with negative ones leads to a tipping point beyond which we naturally become more resilient to adversity and better able to achieve things.
4. Happiness is contagious: Our happiness influences the people we know and the people they know. Research shows that the happiness of a close contact increases the chance of being happy by 15%. The happiness of a 2^nd-degree contact (e.g. friend’s spouse) increases it by 10% and the happiness of a 3^rd-degree contact (e.g. friend of a friend of a friend) by 6%. [Related post]
5. Together we’re stronger: Having a network of social connections or high levels of social support has been shown to increase our immunity to infection, lower our risk of heart disease and reduce mental decline as we get older. Not having close personal ties has been shown to pose significant risks for our health.
6. Happier people live longer: Happiness doesn’t just feel good. A review of hundreds of studies has found compelling evidence that happier people have better overall health and live longer than their less happy peers. Anxiety, depression, pessimism and a lack of enjoyment of daily activities have all been found to be associated with higher rates of disease and shorter life spans. [Related TED video]
7. Happiness is a skill you can learn: Western neuroscience has now confirmed what Eastern wisdom has known for a long time: happiness is a skill we can learn. Research shows that happiness, compassion and kindness are the products of skills that can be learned and enhanced through training, thanks to the neuro plasticity of our brains.
8. Happiness leads to success: Most people think that if they become successful, then they’ll be happy. But recent discoveries in psychology and neuroscience show that this formula is backward: Happiness fuels success, not the other way around. When we’re positive, our brains are more motivated, engaged, creative, energetic, resilient, and productive.

I was a bit surprised to read about genes contributing up to 50% of our happiness, and have started reading some more about it, but the rest of the facts seem to support most of my views and other posts about happiness. What’s your take on the above?

I met a fat doctor. Though I don’t like to judge people by their appearances, I wouldn’t quite trust him with my own health and well-being. What will be your first impression when you see…

• A dentist with bad teeth?
• A tailor in shabby clothes?
• A teacher who doesn’t like kids?
• A beautician who is less than beautiful?
• A manager who is not organized?
• An educationist who doesn’t like to read?
• A banker or financial expert with no money?
• A motivational trainer who gets depressed easily?
• A salesperson who doesn’t use her own products, or worse still, uses competitive products?

These are examples of people who are in the wrong jobs/business; who don’t believe in what they do; who don’t practice what they preach. Every profession comes with certain demands and responsibilities, fulfilling which results in success and happiness. And so does every relationship. As a spouse, we must find the time for our partner. As parents, we have to be the role models. As friends we have to be there. And what about our responsibilities towards the community, towards our fellow human beings and towards the world we live in?

“It’s easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities.”

I recently had the privilege of connecting and interacting with one of the happiest and most successful people I’ve ever known. He started as a salesman and built one of the biggest direct sales companies in the region. I always admired how he found time for leisure and everything else that he enjoyed doing, even during the busiest times of his business. He retired early and rich, while the company runs on the systems he had built. In the following note, he shared with me his thoughts on motivation, productivity and dealing with depression:

Books: Two books that helped me greatly are:

1. How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by Harry Browne
2. The Happiness Purpose by Edward De Bono

And my favorite now for ageless wisdom is The Portable Thoreau edited Carl Bode.

Work Habits: 

• Keep a ‘time diary’ for 10-30 days. Log everything you do from wake-up to sleep – every phone call, every meeting, every cup of coffee. Review and you will find there is much wasted and unproductive time, which could be spent constructively on work or quality leisure. Make the adjustments.
• Do jobs IMMEDIATELY and FINISH them.

By doing these two things I accomplished the same in one third of the time than most people! Now I am stress-free and have lots of leisure.

Favorite Quotes

“There is a tide in the affairs of men

Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.

Omitted, all the voyage of their life

Is bound in shallows and miseries.

On such a full sea are we now afloat,

And we must take the current when it serves,

Or lose our ventures.” William Shakespeare.

“Don’t put off moving to the beach until you are too old to go swimming.”

“Don’t confuse wishful thinking with reality.”

“Don’t confuse motion with progress.”

Depression: There is a difference between not appreciating the good things in our lives, ‘the blues’ which we all get occasionally, and full-blown depression. If you are unfortunate enough to suffer a depressive episode these thoughts are paramount:

• It’s nothing to be ashamed of! You wouldn’t be ashamed of having a sore knee. You wouldn’t try and hide it and you would seek a cure for it. Similarly, depression has a physical cause, a chemical imbalance in the brain, and needs to be dealt with just like a sore knee needs to be dealt with. It has very little to do with your financial, family or life circumstances.
• It’s not your fault you have it, but it is your responsibility to fix it! It adversely affects you, your family, loved ones, and your colleagues. In extreme cases it can lead to suicide.
• Surprisingly, very simple cures work for most people – regular rhythmic exercise like swimming and walking, sunlight, good diet and sleep and less stress.
• Failing those, see a doctor urgently. No matter how bad it seems now, it IS fixable.

[Photo taken recently at The West Lake in Hanoi]

In the 1970s, Diana Nyad set long-distance swim records that are still unbroken. Thirty years later, at 60, she attempted her longest swim yet, from Cuba to Florida. She talks about how to prepare mentally to achieve an extreme dream, and asks: What will YOU do with your wild, precious life? Extremely inspiring!

When I started the process of reducing my possessions and simplifying my life, I started with the biggest chunk – my collection of books. I realized I wasn’t going to re-read most of them. My hope that my kids would read them all one day wasn’t realistic because they don’t have the same interests as mine. So I gave them all away to friends or charity. I also got rid of the book shelf, so that the books I continue to buy must be given away soon after I finish reading them. Since the iPad, I only buy digital books. They are cheaper, easy to store/backup and environment friendly. You can increase the font size and brightness; you can highlight passages; you can call up a dictionary by just touching the word. And if you really miss the touch and feel and smell of real books, you can visit the book store once a while and get all that for free. I have also tried audio books, and they have their benefits too.

Then I was able to simplify my entire wardrobe to fit into ten hangers and one drawer – plus a small suitcase with winter stuff on one side and special occasion stuff on the other. I took most of the unnecessary clutter out of my life – excessive suits, shoes, belts, ties, watches (I’ve actually stopped wearing a watch), videos, CDs etc. I still need to finish scanning the photos and get rid of the albums. All of this means, I need less space for my possessions and less maintenance time. I can focus on quality instead of quantity/variety. I only buy things that I really need and have space for. If I buy a new shirt, an old shirt has to go.

My travel bag has got smaller and smaller, regardless of the length of the trip, and is now down to a small carry-on, without the additional backpack that used to go with it. I still take all the photos and make all the movies with my pocket Canon Ixus. That means I can pack easily and quickly, travel much lighter and move around easily. I have applied the same principle to my work i.e. office space and desk. It’s all easier said than done, but extremely rewarding and worthwhile. I believe it makes you more productive, more efficient, lighter and happier!

[Photo of my travel bags taken just now in the hotel room. The shoulder bag has the camera, spare battery, spare SD cards, phone, wallet, passport, charger, pens and few other essentials]