1. Travel light. It’s perhaps the most important advice on traveling. Packing a smaller bag requires planning, discipline and focus on the essentials. It saves time at check-in counters. It’s easier to unpack. Less clutter means better focus, and fewer chances of leaving something behind. You can also move on at short notice. Doesn’t that apply to life too? Whether it’s your desk/desktop, wallet/purse/bag, wardrobe or the house… fewer things mean less clutter, less time wasted on finding stuff, less energy on the maintenance. The same applies to having thousands of ‘friends’ on Facebook, receiving tons of junk mail, maintaining dozens of credit cards… the list goes on. Less is more; lighter the better; quality over quantity.
2. Be prepared for surprises. You learn during traveling that everything is not in your control, and things don’t always go as planned. Flights can be delayed or cancelled; your special meal onboard is often mixed up; bags don’t always make the connection; hotels can be over-booked; Internet doesn’t always work… And it’s not because the world is conspiring against you and everyone is out to get you. You can accept these situations with calm or fight and argue and get upset. I often remind upset fellow passengers: There are usually three reasons for a flight to be delayed: there’s something wrong with the plane, or the pilot, or the weather. And I am glad they have found out while we are still on the ground. The same applies to life. Despite great intentions and excellent planning, things do go wrong. And we have to learn to distinguish between situations (that can’t be changed) and problems (that can be solved). Unfortunately, so many people waste so much of their time and energy fighting with situations.
3. Enjoy the moment. Just like the unpleasant surprises, there are often unexpected pleasures in traveling. It can be the most beautiful sunrise over the horizon from your window seat, a divine local meal, an unforgettable encounter with a stranger, and other memorable unplanned experiences. At such moments, you don’t want to continue reading the book or checking your email on the iPhone or responding to an SMS. In an age when electronic communications enable us to be permanently connected to (and distracted by) the virtual world, there’s a thrill in throwing yourself into a single place, a single moment. When you travel, you get to embrace the privilege of witnessing life as it happens before your eyes. This attitude need not be confined to travel. For all the pleasures of the virtual world, there is no substitute for real-life conversations and connections with the people and places around you. Even at home, there’s good reason to unplug from the world and really connect with the people you love.

Do you have any interesting experiences from your travels? Or any tips for life? Please share through comments.

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Nana is the Urdu/Hindi word for maternal grandfather. Every time I go to Dubai, I visit my 97-year old nana who lives with my uncle. We have all envied his health and fitness levels for a long time. Until recently, he used to wake up before dawn for his morning prayers and rituals; he read newspapers and went for walks; he traveled on his own between Bhavnagar (India) and Dubai.

Every time, I would learn about a different part of his life – and each one more inspiring than the other e.g.

• He never went to university, but was one of the most learned men of his time. He never stopped reading and learning. He could speak more than five languages.
• He started his career selling metal at the age of 18. And when he retired at 50, he owned a huge metal business and few shops.
• Soon after retirement, he started working with a few philanthropic organizations. He traveled across India and Africa for fund-raising and built hundreds of schools in poor neighborhoods.
• He had four wives; he remarried after the deaths of each one, except the last one who died about ten years ago. My mom was born from the second wife.

I saw him last week, and he is not the same anymore, physically. He is now bed-ridden, but insists on walking to the bathroom. He can only take fluids, so he is getting weaker by the day. He can’t see properly, or hear or talk. And he doesn’t recognize anyone. He felt my face, arms and biceps. Then he smiled and made a gesture with a punched hand – meaning ‘you seem fit’. When I realized his mental alertness, I asked him to get up and go, through my body language. He quickly responded through his hands and expressions which I interpreted as, ‘I am done with this life; I am too tired now; I am ready to go’.

I think people have two kinds of thoughts on their deathbeds: I wish I had done this and done that; if I could live my life again, I would  do this and that differently. Or I am glad I did this and that; if I could live my life again, I wouldn’t change a thing; I had the best life! And what we would be thinking on our deathbeds depends on how we live our lives today.

[Photo of a street in Cardiff - from Hamza's window this morning]

The post on 45 Tips for a Happy Marriage continues to be one of the most popular on this blog. Here’s #46 – actually an extension of ‘go on dates’…

We have another ritual that we call Friday Dates. Once in a month or two, we both take the afternoon off from whatever we are doing. We meet at our favorite soup/salad place for a long lunch. Then we usually go to a nearby reflexology place for an invigorating foot/shoulder treatment. The rest of the afternoon is either shopping or movie or just chilling out at a coffee shop.

Why Friday? There’s something about leaving important work behind in the office to meet that special someone. It’s a great start to a wonderful weekend. There’s no rush to go back home to kids – they are at work or in school. The long hours together encourages lot of talking. We share our dreams and goals, address important issues, and even resolve any differences. Try it out. It’s very different from the usual dinner dates, and is sure to strengthen the relationship.

[Photo of sunset from Cococabana beach on Lamma Island, Hong Kong]

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Here’s a collection of posts from the last couple of years that I consider to be the best, considering the popularity and comments from the readers. Most articles are short, and take only a few minutes to read. Please let me know through your comments if this collection could form a useful ebook…

Happiness:

• It all starts with gratefulness
• 4 tips for instant happiness
• Quotes on relaxing and beating stress
• The weird idea of ‘happy new day’
• Unhappiness comes from unrealistic expectations
• Controlling anger
• How to deal with negative people
• Thinking about the past, present and future

Health:

• Your health is up to you
• How to sleep well and wake up recharged
• The power of breathing
• Say ‘no’ to Diet Coke
• Negative emotions can cause heart disease
• How much sugar are you consuming?
• Causes, symptoms and management of stress
• 10 benefits of swimming

Productivity:

• The 4 D’s of time management
• 7 tips for a clean desk
• Take time to read
• Un-clutter now
• 5 benefits of rising early
• The best kept secret
• Avoid these email mistakes

Relationships:

• #1 source of happiness
• Listening with your eyes
• Tips for a happy marriage
• What do you expect?
• The power of ‘thank-you’

Motivation:

• Why most people don’t achieve their goals?
• Patience, persistence and positive attitude
• What’s true success?
• 3-part method of overcoming challenges
• Be the best you can
• Life – destiny or choice?
• Change anything

Please take a few minutes to tell me about your most favorite articles, through comments below. Thanks.

[Photo of Kuk Po hike near Tai Po in Hong Kong, taken last week]

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“I didn’t set out to get you to quit your job or to persuade you to become an entrepreneur or merely to change the entire world. All I wanted to do in this book was sell you on being the artist you already are. To make a difference. To stand for something. To get the respect and security you deserve. If I’ve succeeded, then you know that you have a gift to give, something you can do to change the world (or your part of it) for the better. I hope you’ll do that, because we need you.”

And I think he has done a great job of it. A linchpin is someone that is remarkable. They bring the emotional labor to their work. They pour themselves into what they do because they know it is the right thing to do, and they become better people for living and working this way. This also makes them very scarce, and that scarcity makes them valuable – indispensable. I love what Seth says about art:

“Art is a personal act of courage, something one human does that creates change in another. … I think it’s art when a great customer service person uses a conversation to convert an angry person into a raving fan. …Nobody cares how hard you worked. It’s not an effort contest, it’s an art contest. As customers, we care about ourselves, about how we feel, about whether a product or service or play or interaction changed us for the better.”

Seth also explains the lizard brain and resistance – part of the answer to my questions in the post about Contradictions. You can read more reviews here.

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I had been reading reviews and blog posts and tweets about Seth Godin’s newest book, Linchpin. Went to a couple of bookshops on my way to work/home; it wasn’t available. So I went to Amazon.com to order one. I was at Amazon after a long time, and was surprised to see the options available: Kindle (ebook download), hardcover, paperback, audio CD and audio download. Audio download looked like the fastest option so I checked it out. It took me to Audible.com – an Amazon company, where an audio download was being offered for just USD7.49 with a new membership! I signed up, paid the money, downloaded the book, and started listening to it right away! The benefits:

1. It’s fast. I was listening to the book after just a few clicks in few minutes.
2. It’s cheap. Book versions were USD13-25.
3. It’s convenient. I copied the file to my iPhone to listen during my commute to and from work.
4. It’s safe. A copy each on my computer, iPhone and backup is likely to last (damage-free) as long as I wish.
5. It takes no space. So less clutter. No worries about whether to keep, sell off, recycle or give-away.
6. It’s environment-friendly. No paper, ink, chemicals.
7. It’s comfortable. For someone who spends a lot of time in front of computers or books, this is a good break for the eyes. You can listen while standing, walking or lying down.

And the disadvantages:

1. You need technology – computer, Internet access, applications like iTunes, and power supply
2. You need a handheld device to maximize the use of audiobooks – iPhone, iPod or any other MP3 player
3. You need a credit card for online purchase
4. You can’t share. I love giving away my books to someone who might enjoy/benefit. Most audiobooks can’t be shared on multiple computers/accounts.
5. You can’t refer as easily. I like to go back to particular passages in my favorite books for inspiration/information/sharing. In audiobooks, you can fast-forward to chapters but it’s difficult to go to the exact passage you are looking for.
6. You can lose it easily – unless you have a good backup system.
7. You become anti-social. Your chances of interesting conversations with strangers greatly diminish if you go around with headphones in your ears.

On balance, I think it depends on your lifestyle, circumstances and even the kind of book you want to read. Please take a few minutes to share your views through comments: Have you tried an audiobook? If not, will you? What other pros and cons can you think of?

[Photo credit: purplecrying.info]

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• We want to be slim but we eat too much
• We want to be smart but we miss the class, or don’t read the books
• We want happy relationships but we sabotage them with our actions
• We have dreams but we don’t set goals
• We want to achieve our goals but we don’t plan
• We plan but don’t take the action
• We worry about retirement but we don’t save
• We want to finish the project but we don’t stay focused
• We want to wake up early but we don’t go to bed early

The list goes on. Are human beings lazy, indisciplined, indecisive and stupid by nature? Do our genes not have the willpower to fight temptations, to persevere, to do the right thing?

What do you think?

I have a list in the active pocket of my mind. A list I often refer to when thrown into the company of strangers while traveling. The list is labeled Conversation Lifeboats:

1. Did you ever have a great teacher – in school or out? Tell me.
2. What would you be learning – if you had time?
3. What would you have learned to do if you knew then what you know now?
4. What would you teach, if you were asked?
5. Teach me something. Anything.
6. Do you know any silly tricks? Coins, cards, face contortions?
7. If you could be an eyewitness to some event in history, which one?
8. If you could see anyplace in the world before human history, where would you go and why?
9. Who would you like to see naked?
10. Who do you admire? Who admires you?
11. Answer an unasked question – something you know but nobody would ever ask about and you would never volunteer.
12. Decisions of consequence – what forks in the road were on your way – and what if you had taken the other path?
13. Pick another place/time in modern history – since 1700 – to live.
14. Book, movie, you’ve read/seen more than once. Why?
15. What ability/talent do you not have but would like to have?
16. Ever thought about changing your appearance or identity? And?
17. If you were a spy, what would be your cover?
18. What was the worst/best summer job you ever had?
19. If you could know how your life will end but you still could not change it, would you want to know? Why or why not?
20. If you could live one short episode of your life over again – a day, week, month – which would it be by? And why?
21. Do you remember your first love? Tell me.
22. Have you ever experienced the kindness of a stranger? How?
23. Do you ever have any bizarre thoughts?

Everybody has a story to tell and a willingness to tell it if asked. Everybody knows things you don’t know, but wish you did. Everybody is a door into some other room in the world. Anybody is capable of inspiring you. Every situation contains opportunity.

[I am going to try and answer these first, before asking anyone else.]

“Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have, now.” (African-American proverb)

“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” (Leonardo da Vinci)

“Make the most of yourself, for that’s all there is of you.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

“Doing the best at this moment, puts you in the best place for the next moment.” (Oprah Winfrey)

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