Lately, I have been wondering about the contradictions in our thoughts and actions:

• We want to be slim but we eat too much
• We want to be smart but we miss the class, or don’t read the books
• We want happy relationships but we sabotage them with our actions
• We have dreams but we don’t set goals
• We want to achieve our goals but we don’t plan
• We plan but don’t take the action
• We worry about retirement but we don’t save
• We want to finish the project but we don’t stay focused
• We want to wake up early but we don’t go to bed early

The list goes on. Are human beings lazy, indisciplined, indecisive and stupid by nature? Do our genes not have the willpower to fight temptations, to persevere, to do the right thing?

What do you think?

Just read this wonderful piece in What On Earth Have I Done? by Robert Fulghum – one of my all-time favorite authors…

I have a list in the active pocket of my mind. A list I often refer to when thrown into the company of strangers while traveling. The list is labeled Conversation Lifeboats:

1. Did you ever have a great teacher – in school or out? Tell me.
2. What would you be learning – if you had time?
3. What would you have learned to do if you knew then what you know now?
4. What would you teach, if you were asked?
5. Teach me something. Anything.
6. Do you know any silly tricks? Coins, cards, face contortions?
7. If you could be an eyewitness to some event in history, which one?
8. If you could see anyplace in the world before human history, where would you go and why?
9. Who would you like to see naked?
10. Who do you admire? Who admires you?
11. Answer an unasked question – something you know but nobody would ever ask about and you would never volunteer.
12. Decisions of consequence – what forks in the road were on your way – and what if you had taken the other path?
13. Pick another place/time in modern history – since 1700 – to live.
14. Book, movie, you’ve read/seen more than once. Why?
15. What ability/talent do you not have but would like to have?
16. Ever thought about changing your appearance or identity? And?
17. If you were a spy, what would be your cover?
18. What was the worst/best summer job you ever had?
19. If you could know how your life will end but you still could not change it, would you want to know? Why or why not?
20. If you could live one short episode of your life over again – a day, week, month – which would it be by? And why?
21. Do you remember your first love? Tell me.
22. Have you ever experienced the kindness of a stranger? How?
23. Do you ever have any bizarre thoughts?

Everybody has a story to tell and a willingness to tell it if asked. Everybody knows things you don’t know, but wish you did. Everybody is a door into some other room in the world. Anybody is capable of inspiring you. Every situation contains opportunity.

[I am going to try and answer these first, before asking anyone else.]

“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’” (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

“Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have, now.” (African-American proverb)

“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” (Leonardo da Vinci)

“Make the most of yourself, for that’s all there is of you.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

“Doing the best at this moment, puts you in the best place for the next moment.” (Oprah Winfrey)

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I hesitated about this post because it’s not related to enhancing life. But it will surely enhance your communications over emails. I don’t know about you but I get really peeved about a few things people do when using emails. Here are some established email etiquettes to consider:

1. Subject line. Some people try to convey the entire message in the subject line. And some people never bother to change/update the subject when the topic of the email changes. The subject line should only be used for the subject.
2. Group emails. If sending an email to a group of people who don’t know each other, put everyone under ‘bcc’ instead of ‘to’ or ‘cc’. Otherwise you expose everyone’s email addresses without their permission.
3. Reply. Only hit ‘reply all’ if you want all the 100 people on the email to see your reply. Otherwise, hit ‘reply’. This is particularly relevant when sending an acknowledgment to the sender.
4. Punctuation. have you seen those emails where the writer doesn’t use any punctuation marks those emails are not only difficult to read but also very unprofessional punctuation marks are for a reason and they should be used even in informal emails. SIMILARLY, AN ENTIRE EMAIL IN UPPER CASE IS EQUIVALENT OF YELLING AT SOMEONE. and full emails in lower case are as annoying.
5. Templates. Those email templates that come with Outlook and other email programs don’t always show up on the recipients screen as you see them. They often come as attachments of photos. Those colorful and flowery templates also make your email look childish.
6. Signatures. Signatures that contain your full mailing address, phone and fax numbers should only be sent if necessary. Such signatures should not be part of your standard template. Similarly, putting your email address in the signature looks stupid.
7. Spellings and grammer. Most email programs come with an auto spell-check, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t activate that function. Don’t create your own abbreviations like ‘plz’ or ‘pls’ for ‘please’. I think it’s worse than not saying ‘please’ at all.

Please share your email peeves or other tips through comments.

I was advised yet again by my Chinese reflexologist to drink more water in order to keep my back pain under control. And it surely works! I also read some more on the topic to remind of all the importance and benefits of drinking enough water. Here’s one such article:

Water is a major component of every body cell, tissue and organ. It plays an important role in almost every body function, including:

• Temperature regulation
• Transportation of oxygen and nutrients through the blood
• Acting as a necessary component of chemical reactions
• Aid in elimination of waste through urine and feces
• Lubrication of joints
• Acting as a major component of body fluids such as mucus and tears
• Giving the cells their shape and stability

Daily Requirements: Generally speaking, people should consume approximately 2 to 3 liters of fluid each day. This does not take into account a person’s medical condition, exercise habits, and living environment. Day-to-day activities may also increase ones need for fluid. For example, water requirements are increased when flying or during strenuous exercise.

Other sources of water: Many fruits and vegetables have a high water content, another reason why we should eat a lot of fresh produce. One hundred percent fruit juice also contributes fluid to our diet. Caffeine, however, is dehydrating and can cause you to lose water. Soda and many fruit juices are a huge source of wasted calories in our diet. (Source: Dudek, Susan G. Nutrition Essentials for Nursing Practice)

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Geoff Holt, is the first quadriplegic (paralyzed of all four limbs) yachtsman to cross the Altantic Ocean in a 60-foot, purpose-built, wheelchair accessible, catamaran called the Impossible Dream.

Holt had suffered a spinal cord injury in 1984 while diving in shallow water, which left him paralyzed from the chest down. In 2007, he was the first disabled yachtsman to sail single-handed around Britain.

“It’s not about being disabled. It’s not about sailing the Atlantic Ocean. It’s about demonstrating that disability need not be a barrier to achieving something positive in your life.” He said. You can read more about him and his voyage at his blog.

The next time I find myself shying away from a challenging goal, or finding excuses for not following through on a plan, I am going to think of Geoff Holt.

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A little girl came home from school with a drawing she’d made in class. She danced into the kitchen, where her mom was preparing dinner. ‘Mom, guess what?’ she squealed, waving the drawing. Her mother never looked up. ‘What?’ she said, tending to the pots. ‘Guess what?’ the child repeated, waving the drawing. ‘What?’ the mother said, tending to the plates. ‘Mom, you’re not listening.’ ‘Sweetie, yes I am.’ ‘Mom, you’re not listening with your eyes‘, the child said. (Adapted from Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom)

How often are we guilty of pretending to be listening, without really paying attention. Listening is one of the most important skills for healthy communications, great relationships and excellent productivity. And like any other skills – driving, cooking, languages – it needs to be learned and developed.

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I turn to you because you know everything, even what is hidden. If what I am doing is good for me, for my life now and hereafter, then let that task be easy and blessed. If what I am doing is bad for me, for my life now and hereafter, then remove me from that task. (The Prophet Mohammed)

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. (Jesus – Mathew 7:7-8)

If there’s to be peace in the world, the nations must live in peace. If there’s to be peace among nations, the cities must not rise up against each other. If there’s to be peace in the cities, neighbors must understand each other. If there’s to be peace among neighbors, there must be harmony in the home. If there’s to be peace in the home, we must each find our own heart. (Lao Tsu)

In the new year, I will live one day at a time. I will make each day one of preparation for better things ahead. I will not dwell on the past or the future, only on the present. I will bury every fear of the future, all thoughts of unkindness and bitterness, all my dislikes, my resentments, my disappointment in others and in myself, my gloom and my despondency. I will leave all these things buried and go forward, in this near year, into a new life. (Thought for the day. Twenty-four Hours a Day)

[Photo of The Prophet's Mosque, the second largest in the world, taken in Feb. 2004]

What if we had new month resolutions at the start of each new month, instead of new year resolutions? Could we have a better chance of fulfilling them, knowing that we only have 30 days?

What if we celebrated every new week, instead of just the new year? Could we not be as excited about the challenges and surprises that each new week brings?

What if we welcomed each new day with the same gratefulness, cheer and optimism, as we greet the new year? Could we not wish each other a Happy New Day, every day?

That’s part of my new year resolutions – to celebrate each new day and be grateful for every moment of this wonderful life. Let’s see how long does that last!

Would you like to share your new year resolutions?

[Video of fireworks in Hong Kong a few hours ago, taken by Sara from the Peak]

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Confidence is rocket fuel for your business life. Confident people have a come-this-way charisma that generates a following.  When you possess total confidence you are willing to take risks. When you have it, you propel yourself and your team forward into the future.

Problem: Most people don’t cultivate confidence – it just lands on them due to favorable conditions.  I call this spot confidence.  Good times make for confident people.  Bad times crush them, along with their daring point of view. The secret to unbreakable confidence is a lifestyle of emotional/mental diet and exercise.

1. Feed Your Mind Good Stuff. Stop reading negative information, listening to negative people or watching cable network news. You are loading up with fear. Replace that information with studies about the future or an improved you. You’ll soon emerge as a solution provider instead of a Chicken Little.
2. Exercise Your Gratitude Muscle. Gratefulness is a muscle, not a feeling. You need to work it out daily.  Every morning, give thanks to two people that helped you yesterday and one person that will assist you today. This will focus your mind on what you have, and you’ll soon realize you are not alone.

By Tim Sanders, author of Love Is The Killer App: How To Win Business & Influence Friends.

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