I recently had the privilege of connecting and interacting with one of the happiest and most successful people I’ve ever known. He started as a salesman and built one of the biggest direct sales companies in the region. I always admired how he found time for leisure and everything else that he enjoyed doing, even during the busiest times of his business. He retired early and rich, while the company runs on the systems he had built. In the following note, he shared with me his thoughts on motivation, productivity and dealing with depression:

Books: Two books that helped me greatly are:

1. How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by Harry Browne
2. The Happiness Purpose by Edward De Bono

And my favorite now for ageless wisdom is The Portable Thoreau edited Carl Bode.

Work Habits: 

• Keep a ‘time diary’ for 10-30 days. Log everything you do from wake-up to sleep – every phone call, every meeting, every cup of coffee. Review and you will find there is much wasted and unproductive time, which could be spent constructively on work or quality leisure. Make the adjustments.
• Do jobs IMMEDIATELY and FINISH them.

By doing these two things I accomplished the same in one third of the time than most people! Now I am stress-free and have lots of leisure.

Favorite Quotes

“There is a tide in the affairs of men

Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.

Omitted, all the voyage of their life

Is bound in shallows and miseries.

On such a full sea are we now afloat,

And we must take the current when it serves,

Or lose our ventures.” William Shakespeare.

“Don’t put off moving to the beach until you are too old to go swimming.”

“Don’t confuse wishful thinking with reality.”

“Don’t confuse motion with progress.”

Depression: There is a difference between not appreciating the good things in our lives, ‘the blues’ which we all get occasionally, and full-blown depression. If you are unfortunate enough to suffer a depressive episode these thoughts are paramount:

• It’s nothing to be ashamed of! You wouldn’t be ashamed of having a sore knee. You wouldn’t try and hide it and you would seek a cure for it. Similarly, depression has a physical cause, a chemical imbalance in the brain, and needs to be dealt with just like a sore knee needs to be dealt with. It has very little to do with your financial, family or life circumstances.
• It’s not your fault you have it, but it is your responsibility to fix it! It adversely affects you, your family, loved ones, and your colleagues. In extreme cases it can lead to suicide.
• Surprisingly, very simple cures work for most people – regular rhythmic exercise like swimming and walking, sunlight, good diet and sleep and less stress.
• Failing those, see a doctor urgently. No matter how bad it seems now, it IS fixable.

[Photo taken recently at The West Lake in Hanoi]

When I started the process of reducing my possessions and simplifying my life, I started with the biggest chunk – my collection of books. I realized I wasn’t going to re-read most of them. My hope that my kids would read them all one day wasn’t realistic because they don’t have the same interests as mine. So I gave them all away to friends or charity. I also got rid of the book shelf, so that the books I continue to buy must be given away soon after I finish reading them. Since the iPad, I only buy digital books. They are cheaper, easy to store/backup and environment friendly. You can increase the font size and brightness; you can highlight passages; you can call up a dictionary by just touching the word. And if you really miss the touch and feel and smell of real books, you can visit the book store once a while and get all that for free. I have also tried audio books, and they have their benefits too.

Then I was able to simplify my entire wardrobe to fit into ten hangers and one drawer – plus a small suitcase with winter stuff on one side and special occasion stuff on the other. I took most of the unnecessary clutter out of my life – excessive suits, shoes, belts, ties, watches (I’ve actually stopped wearing a watch), videos, CDs etc. I still need to finish scanning the photos and get rid of the albums. All of this means, I need less space for my possessions and less maintenance time. I can focus on quality instead of quantity/variety. I only buy things that I really need and have space for. If I buy a new shirt, an old shirt has to go.

My travel bag has got smaller and smaller, regardless of the length of the trip, and is now down to a small carry-on, without the additional backpack that used to go with it. I still take all the photos and make all the movies with my pocket Canon Ixus. That means I can pack easily and quickly, travel much lighter and move around easily. I have applied the same principle to my work i.e. office space and desk. It’s all easier said than done, but extremely rewarding and worthwhile. I believe it makes you more productive, more efficient, lighter and happier!

[Photo of my travel bags taken just now in the hotel room. The shoulder bag has the camera, spare battery, spare SD cards, phone, wallet, passport, charger, pens and few other essentials]

1. Lack of passion. Sometimes the important and urgent task is too boring. I can’t get passionate about sorting through the physical mail, paying the bills (though online), filing the receipts and so on. So here’s what I did. Firstly, I scheduled this task for Sunday mornings, so the pile of envelopes doesn’t bother me all week. Secondly, I systematically unsubscribed from many mailing lists. That required some time over the phone and some emails, but it was worthwhile. I also put as many bills as possible on auto-pay. Now I have a much smaller pile to deal with every Sunday morning. The idea is to get rid of, or minimize the unpleasant tasks in your life. Sometimes you can trade boring tasks with colleagues or members of the family. I’ll do your Powerpoint presentation; you do my Excel report. I’ll edit the photos; you do the filing. At home, I take care of all IT stuff; Salma looks after mechanical issues. I am responsible for all issues with schools and education; she looks after all the shopping and food. I do the paper work; she checks credit card statements…and so on.
2. Lack of skill. Very often, we put things off because we are not good at them, or we just don’t know how to do them. The obvious way to deal with this is to learn. I knew somebody who dreaded the monthly reports because she wasn’t good at Excel. She used to make mistakes and feel stressed. So obviously, she would put it off until the very last minute, which would make it even worse. Until one day, she figured she had to learn it and get good at it. Once the stress of making mistakes and the fear of failure was gone, the task wasn’t as dreadful and the procrastination was also gone. Why do you think most salespeople procrastinate calling up the upset customer, or delay in resolving any conflicts, or put off the diet plan – because they are not good at these things and there’s a fear of failure.

Please let me know if you found the above useful. And guess what the third reason is. Then stay tuned for part 2. [A recent photo of sunset through a window - one of those things that can't wait.]

Morning Calm

[A re-post from June 2009] Most people seem to start their day in a rush – rushing to get ready, rushing with the breakfast, rushing to work. These people often spend their entire day in a rush, playing catch-up with the rest of the world. This can be easily avoided by getting up a little earlier. There are many other benefits of getting up early, but I will list the five that have always worked for me:

1. Gratefulness. It’s difficult to be grateful for the moment when you are getting late for work. But if you don’t have to rush, you can enjoy every moment. And be grateful for being alive today, for the health you have, for the comforts of your home, for the family you have, for the food you eat, for the work you do…
2. Bonus Hour. Most of us complain of not having enough time for the things we want to do e.g. exercise, reading, or pursuing other interests and ambitions like learning a language, writing a book, starting a blog. The easiest way to achieve these is by giving yourself 30 minutes or an hour of bonus time in the morning.
3. Quiet Time. There’s something special about the calm of the morning – no sounds from TV, kids, phones or traffic. There’s also less clutter in your mind which allows you to think and concentrate better. Any brain work that takes hours during the day can sometimes be achieved in half the time if done early morning.
4. Beat the Rush. Your commute time will cut down if you leave home before the rush hour. You’ll spend less time queuing up for elevators. You’ll have to get used to the emptiness – at the gym or pool, on the road, in the train, at the office… everywhere.
5. Get Ahead. Getting to work half an hour before everybody else gives you time to plan, prioritize and organize. Less distractions of the phone, email and people can allow you to focus better on the most important tasks of the day. You get more done, and leave on time, again beating the rush hour.

Even if you work from home, there’s plenty of reason to start the day before everyone else does. And if you are a housewife, who usually spends the day taking care of others, this could be your time, to do the things just for yourself! Please share your comments and tips.

[Check out Mush's photos, videos and Facebook page]

On Happiness:

• It starts with gratefulness
• Your happiness, in your hands
• 3 more happiness tips
• 5 attitudes of happy people
• Make the right choice

On Health and Nutrition:

• How to lose 3 kg in three weeks
• 11 benefits of eating fruit
• Importance of drinking enough water
• Causes, symptoms and management of stress
• Sleeping problems? Read this

On Productivity:

• Why and how to be punctual
• How not to use your mobile device
• 6 most common email mistakes
• Efficiency vs. effectiveness
• “I just don’t have the time!“

Please let me know which ones did you find most useful.

[Photo taken during a hike in Rotorua, NZ - Nov. 2010]

Since writing that post, I have become a big fan of audiobooks. I often listen to them while driving (alone), taking long walks and during sleepless nights on long flights. Besides the seven advantages I listed in the earlier post, I also find it easier to preview an audio version before buying a hardcopy.

Audible has become my favorite place to download audiobooks. There are different subscription plans that offer up to 30% savings and let you download a book of your choice every month. There are thousands of books in various categories, both fiction and non-fiction. If you have a computer with iTune and an MP3 player, try it once. ‘No time to read’ is no more an excuse!

PS. Just downloaded Crush It! by Gary Vaynerchuk for the overnight flight to Dubai – in case none of my fellow passengers wants to tell me her life story Off to a bookshop now to buy a real book, just in case the battery on my iPhone runs out

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• to start exercising?
• to start eating healthy?
• to start learning a new thing?
• to start reading?
• to get organized?
• to help someone in need?
• to stop procrastination?
• to say ‘i love you’?
• to say ‘thank you’?
• to quit smoking?
• to quit drinking?
• to follow your dream?
• to take a vacation, to travel?
• to volunteer for a cause?

So many people spend their lives waiting for the perfect time to do what needs to be done now. What are you procrastinating?

Connect with Mush on Facebook, Twitter, Flickr or YouTube. Subscribe for email updates.

1. It shows our lack of interest, commitment or passion. Why would anyone hire a person who is late for an interview? Or do business with someone who can’t keep the first commitment? How could a relationship be a priority if our appointments with our loved ones are the first to be compromised?
2. It demonstrates lack of respect for other people’s time. How do you feel when you somehow manage to show up on time, and then have to wait for the other person?
3. It sets the wrong example for our family, friends and co-workers – especially for people who look up to us e.g. our children, students or subordinates.

Now some tips on how to be on time:

1. Give importance. Decide to be on time. Don’t participate in anything half-heartedly.
2. Plan ahead. Be realistic about how long does it take to get ready and get there. Expect the traffic and other things to go wrong.
3. Positive affirmations. Telling yourself, ‘I am always on time’ works better than ‘I am always late!’

“I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time.” (Charles Dickens)

[Photo of the clock tower in Cardiff]

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Here’s a collection of posts from the last couple of years that I consider to be the best, considering the popularity and comments from the readers. Most articles are short, and take only a few minutes to read. Please let me know through your comments if this collection could form a useful ebook…

Happiness:

• It all starts with gratefulness
• 4 tips for instant happiness
• Quotes on relaxing and beating stress
• The weird idea of ‘happy new day’
• Unhappiness comes from unrealistic expectations
• Controlling anger
• How to deal with negative people
• Thinking about the past, present and future

Health:

• Your health is up to you
• How to sleep well and wake up recharged
• The power of breathing
• Say ‘no’ to Diet Coke
• Negative emotions can cause heart disease
• How much sugar are you consuming?
• Causes, symptoms and management of stress
• 10 benefits of swimming

Productivity:

• The 4 D’s of time management
• 7 tips for a clean desk
• Take time to read
• Un-clutter now
• 5 benefits of rising early
• The best kept secret
• Avoid these email mistakes

Relationships:

• #1 source of happiness
• Listening with your eyes
• Tips for a happy marriage
• What do you expect?
• The power of ‘thank-you’

Motivation:

• Why most people don’t achieve their goals?
• Patience, persistence and positive attitude
• What’s true success?
• 3-part method of overcoming challenges
• Be the best you can
• Life – destiny or choice?
• Change anything

Please take a few minutes to tell me about your most favorite articles, through comments below. Thanks.

[Photo of Kuk Po hike near Tai Po in Hong Kong, taken last week]

• We want to be slim but we eat too much
• We want to be smart but we miss the class, or don’t read the books
• We want happy relationships but we sabotage them with our actions
• We have dreams but we don’t set goals
• We want to achieve our goals but we don’t plan
• We plan but don’t take the action
• We worry about retirement but we don’t save
• We want to finish the project but we don’t stay focused
• We want to wake up early but we don’t go to bed early

The list goes on. Are human beings lazy, indisciplined, indecisive and stupid by nature? Do our genes not have the willpower to fight temptations, to persevere, to do the right thing?

What do you think?