Lately, I have been wondering about the contradictions in our thoughts and actions:
We want to be slim but we eat too much
We want to be smart but we miss the class, or don’t read the books
We want happy relationships but we sabotage them with our actions
We have dreams but we don’t set goals
We want to achieve our goals but we don’t plan
We plan but don’t take the action
We worry about retirement but we don’t save
We want to finish the project but we don’t stay focused
We want to wake up early but we don’t go to bed early
The list goes on. Are human beings lazy, indisciplined, indecisive and stupid by nature? Do our genes not have the willpower to fight temptations, to persevere, to do the right thing?
Just read this wonderful piece in What On Earth Have I Done? by Robert Fulghum – one of my all-time favorite authors…
I have a list in the active pocket of my mind. A list I often refer to when thrown into the company of strangers while traveling. The list is labeled Conversation Lifeboats:
Did you ever have a great teacher – in school or out? Tell me.
What would you be learning – if you had time?
What would you have learned to do if you knew then what you know now?
What would you teach, if you were asked?
Teach me something. Anything.
Do you know any silly tricks? Coins, cards, face contortions?
If you could be an eyewitness to some event in history, which one?
If you could see anyplace in the world before human history, where would you go and why?
Who would you like to see naked?
Who do you admire? Who admires you?
Answer an unasked question – something you know but nobody would ever ask about and you would never volunteer.
Decisions of consequence – what forks in the road were on your way – and what if you had taken the other path?
Pick another place/time in modern history – since 1700 – to live.
“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’” (Martin Luther King, Jr.)
“Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have, now.” (African-American proverb)
“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” (Leonardo da Vinci)
“Make the most of yourself, for that’s all there is of you.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
“Doing the best at this moment, puts you in the best place for the next moment.” (Oprah Winfrey)
I hesitated about this post because it’s not related to enhancing life. But it will surely enhance your communications over emails. I don’t know about you but I get really peeved about a few things people do when using emails. Here are some established email etiquettes to consider:
Subject line. Some people try to convey the entire message in the subject line. And some people never bother to change/update the subject when the topic of the email changes. The subject line should only be used for the subject.
Group emails. If sending an email to a group of people who don’t know each other, put everyone under ‘bcc’ instead of ‘to’ or ‘cc’. Otherwise you expose everyone’s email addresses without their permission.
Reply. Only hit ‘reply all’ if you want all the 100 people on the email to see your reply. Otherwise, hit ‘reply’. This is particularly relevant when sending an acknowledgment to the sender.
Punctuation. have you seen those emails where the writer doesn’t use any punctuation marks those emails are not only difficult to read but also very unprofessional punctuation marks are for a reason and they should be used even in informal emails. SIMILARLY, AN ENTIRE EMAIL IN UPPER CASE IS EQUIVALENT OF YELLING AT SOMEONE. and full emails in lower case are Read the rest of this entry »
I was advised yet again by my Chinese reflexologist to drink more water in order to keep my back pain under control. And it surely works! I also read some more on the topic to remind of all the importance and benefits of drinking enough water. Here’s one such article:
Water is a major component of every body cell, tissue and organ. It plays an important role in almost every body function, including:
Temperature regulation
Transportation of oxygen and nutrients through the blood
Acting as a necessary component of chemical reactions
Aid in elimination of waste through urine and feces
Lubrication of joints
Acting as a major component of body fluids such as mucus and tears
Giving the cells their shape and stability
Daily Requirements:Generally speaking, people should consume approximately 2 to 3 liters of fluid each day. This does not take into account a person’s medical condition, exercise habits, and living environment. Day-to-day activities may also increase ones need for fluid. For example, water requirements are increased when flying or during strenuous exercise.
Other sources of water:Many fruits and vegetables have a high water content, another reason why we should eat a lot of fresh produce. One hundred percent fruit juice also contributes fluid to our diet. Caffeine, however, is dehydrating and can cause you to lose water. Soda and many fruit juices are a huge source of wasted calories in our diet. (Source: Dudek, Susan G. Nutrition Essentials for Nursing Practice)
Geoff Holt, is the first quadriplegic (paralyzed of all four limbs) yachtsman to cross the Altantic Ocean in a 60-foot, purpose-built, wheelchair accessible, catamaran called the Impossible Dream.
Holt had suffered a spinal cord injury in 1984 while diving in shallow water, which left him paralyzed from the chest down. In 2007, he was the first disabled yachtsman to sail single-handed around Britain.
“It’s not about being disabled. It’s not about sailing the Atlantic Ocean. It’s about demonstrating that disability need not be a barrier to achieving something positive in your life.” He said. You can read more about him and his voyage at his blog.
The next time I find myself shying away from a challenging goal, or finding excuses for not following through on a plan, I am going to think of Geoff Holt.
A little girl came home from school with a drawing she’d made in class. She danced into the kitchen, where her mom was preparing dinner. ‘Mom, guess what?’ she squealed, waving the drawing. Her mother never looked up. ‘What?’ she said, tending to the pots. ‘Guess what?’ the child repeated, waving the drawing. ‘What?’ the mother said, tending to the plates. ‘Mom, you’re not listening.’ ‘Sweetie, yes I am.’ ‘Mom, you’re not listening with your eyes‘, the child said. (Adapted from Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom)
How often are we guilty of pretending to be listening, without really paying attention. Listening is one of the most important skills for healthy communications, great relationships and excellent productivity. And like any other skills – driving, cooking, languages – it needs to be learned and developed.
I turn to you because you know everything, even what is hidden. If what I am doing is good for me, for my life now and hereafter, then let that task be easy and blessed. If what I am doing is bad for me, for my life now and hereafter, then remove me from that task. (The Prophet Mohammed)
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. (Jesus – Mathew 7:7-8)
If there’s to be peace in the world, the nations must live in peace. If there’s to be peace among nations, the cities must not rise up against each other. If there’s to be peace in the cities, neighbors must understand each other. If there’s to be peace among neighbors, there must be harmony in the home. If there’s to be peace in the home, we must each find our own heart. (Lao Tsu)
In the new year, I will live one day at a time. I will make each day one of preparation for better things ahead. I will not dwell on the past or the future, only on the present. I will bury every fear of the future, all thoughts of unkindness and bitterness, all my dislikes, my resentments, my disappointment in others and in myself, my gloom and my despondency. I will leave all these things buried and go forward, in this near year, into a new life. (Thought for the day. Twenty-four Hours a Day)
[Photo of The Prophet's Mosque, the second largest in the world, taken in Feb. 2004]
What if we had new month resolutions at the start of each new month, instead of new year resolutions? Could we have a better chance of fulfilling them, knowing that we only have 30 days?
What if we celebrated every new week, instead of just the new year? Could we not be as excited about the challenges and surprises that each new week brings?
What if we welcomed each new day with the same gratefulness, cheer and optimism, as we greet the new year? Could we not wish each other a Happy New Day, every day?
That’s part of my new year resolutions – to celebrate each new day and be grateful for every moment of this wonderful life. Let’s see how long does that last!
Would you like to share your new year resolutions?
[Video of fireworks in Hong Kong a few hours ago, taken by Sara from the Peak]
Confidence is rocket fuel for your business life. Confident people have a come-this-way charisma that generates a following. When you possess total confidence you are willing to take risks. When you have it, you propel yourself and your team forward into the future.
Problem: Most people don’t cultivate confidence – it just lands on them due to favorable conditions. I call this spot confidence. Good times make for confident people. Bad times crush them, along with their daring point of view. The secret to unbreakable confidence is a lifestyle of emotional/mental diet and exercise.
Feed Your Mind Good Stuff. Stop reading negative information, listening to negative people or watching cable network news. You are loading up with fear. Replace that information with studies about the future or an improved you. You’ll soon emerge as a solution provider instead of a Chicken Little.
Exercise Your Gratitude Muscle. Gratefulness is a muscle, not a feeling. You need to work it out daily. Every morning, give thanks to two people that helped you yesterday and one person that will assist you today. This will focus your mind on what you have, and you’ll soon realize you are not alone.
Most doctors prescribe pills, I prescribe empowerment. We spend less than an hour per year with our doctor—and 8,765 without. Fortunately, we live in the age of DIY. And now we have the tools to create a new health experience. Dr. Google is always there for us. We can connect with the 500 people in the country all living with the same rare illness. We can email our doctor or meet them by video chat. We can find the nearest farmer’s market with our iPhone. We can use the web to find fellow runners in our neighborhood. Living healthy is getting easier every day.
Imagine if your doctor, acting as your consultant, prescribed all these tools for you to be the most empowered CEO of your health. What if you paid your doctor for advice to keep you out of their office? What if we looked at protecting our own health the same way we look at protecting the environment? What if being healthy became a social, not just a personal, cause? Empowerment is the best prevention.
Getting things done is not the same as making things happen.
You can…
…reply to email.
…pay the bills.
…cross off to-do’s.
…fulfill your obligation.
…repeat what you heard.
…go with the flow.
…anticipate roadblocks.
…aim for “good enough.”
Or you can…
…organize a community.
…take a risk.
…set ambitious goals.
…give more than you take.
…change perceptions.
…forge a new path.
…create possibility.
…demand excellence.
Don’t worry too much about getting things done. Make things happen.
The key is in not spending time, but in investing it. Stephen R. Covey
Make use of time, let not advantage slip. William Shakespeare
This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it. Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life. Charles Darwin
Once you have mastered time, you will understand how true it is that most people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year – and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade! Anthony Robbins
If you want to make good use of your time, you’ve got to know what’s most important and then give it all you’ve got. Lee Iacocca Read the rest of this entry »
I have an associate who is always complaining of not having enough time… to respond to emails, to return calls, to eat lunch, to take a holiday, to exercise, to read, to be with her family etc. etc. In case you are wondering, she only has time for her business. Does that sound familiar? We all give that excuse every now and then, don’t we? I believe the real reason behind the excuse is one of the following:
No commitment. One of my favorite quotes: If you are interested, you will do what’s convenient. If you are committed, you will do whatever it takes. This is often the reason why people can’t follow a diet plan, or exercise regularly, or do the things they know they should do. They are just not committed.
No priorities – or wrong priorities. Like in the case of my friend, her only priority is her business. She believes everything else can wait, until she is a millionaire. When I have difficulty leaving the office on time, with unfinished work, I ask myself: When I am 70 or 80, will I regret not spending enough time in the office, or not spending enough time with my family?
No time management. Everyone has 24 hours in a day but some people get a lot more out of these hours than the others. Think about 86,400 seconds being given to you right now. And you have 24 hours to use it or lose it, forever. Check out the 4 D’s of Time Management.
I overheard a dialogue in Kung Fu Panda that my kids were watching last night. The wise old turtle tells the panda: Yesterday is gone; tomorrow is a mystery; today is a gift – that’s why it’s called present.
Let’s make today count. Let’s stop telling ourselves or others that we don’t have the time. Because we know we do.
[Photo taken during a hike in Tung Chung, Hong Kong]
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Do you have a desk full of papers you are working on, and papers you are not working on, and a few books and magazines? And dozens of pens and cups and post-its and cables? Do you think it’s a sign of creativity or imagination? The truth is, you are either too lazy to clean it up or you don’t know how. A clean desk saves you time looking for stuff; it helps you prioritize, and focus better on the tasks at hand. Here are few tips for a clean desk:
Don’t collect. Don’t take those cheap gift items like pens, note pads, post-its, magazines just because they are free. Or anything else that will likely end up as trash on your desk. Throw away or give away all those pens and pencils that you don’t use. Couple of family photos or frames are OK, but more than that are a distraction. You can put them in Flickr and watch a slideshow whenever you like.
Learn to deal with paper. Don’t print or copy unless necessary. For me, there are only three places for papers: trash it (or shred it or recycle it), file it away or keep in one of your ‘work-in-progress’ folders. Have a bin, shredder and recycle tray handy so you’ll never be guilty of throwing what can be recycled or afraid to trash confidential stuff.
Organize in clear folders. Create clear folders with labels for all the ongoing projects. These are your ‘work-in-progress’ folders. You could also have another clear folder called ‘action’ or ‘process’ or ‘today’. This has all those 2-minute papers that you can read and trash, or forms to fill, or things to sign and pass on. Deal with this folder only once a day.
The 4 D’s of time management also apply to papers. Drop it (trash it), Delay it (work-in-progress folder or the action folder), Delegate it (pass it on) or Do it (do it now, or file it away). Read the rest of this entry »
Thanks to all those who read and forwarded and commented on the post on Stress. You can view all the comments here - some very interesting perspectives and useful tips on managing stress. Seeing the level of interest, I have put together some nice quotes on stress:
The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it. ~Attributed to both Jim Goodwin and Sydney J. Harris
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. ~Richard Carlson
For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. ~Lily Tomlin
The mark of a successful man is one that has spent an entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it. ~Author Unknown
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. ~Bertrand Russell
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. ~Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind
Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering. ~Pooh’s Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne
There is more to life than increasing its speed. ~Mohandas K. Gandhi
A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. ~Aesop, Fables
Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you. ~John De Paola
How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward. ~Spanish Proverb
Stress is poison. ~Agavé Powers
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. ~Jerome K. Jerome, The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Sometimes a headache is all in your head. Relax. ~Hartman Jule
Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. ~Chinese Proverb
Stress is an admission of weakness, a cry of defeat to the world. ~Carrie Latet
Please share your favorite quotes through comments.
[Photo taken at Hua Hin beach, Thailand]
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The last post, 17 Things You Should Know About Stress, attracted a lot of views and some interesting comments. Here’s some advise from readers on how they manage stress:
“I usually manage stress by writing. I write down all the possible reasons which I think are causing stress. First in points and then I write detail paragraphs for each point. Then I read each point again and again very carefully. Finally I start crossing out the points. Most of the time I am able to cross out all the points and find no reason left to remain stressed.”
“I either listen to soft music or read a good motivating book and mostly what i do at difficult situations is , i go to a silent place and CRY. Once i’m done trust me i feel relaxed, find a solution and just move on. Trust me stress will never come back once u r able to let your feelings out.”
“Hey you forgot to mention laughter as a means to reduce stress, a good joke and friends with good sense of humar always releases my stress.”
We are all affected by stress at some level or another, though we don’t like to admit it. Stress can be positive when it helps you achieve your goals, or implement a change in your lifestyle. But it’s obviously negative when it results in anxiety, depression and illness. This article can help you identify, prevent and deal with stress.
Work-related: This includes deadlines, overload of work, conflicts with the boss or co-workers, job insecurity, lack of recognition etc.
Money-related: Financial crisis, credit card debt, mortgage, loss of job or just lack of money to do the things you really want
Relationship-related: Lack of communication, understanding and trust with your partner, parents, kids or close friends
General lack of fulfillment: Unfulfilled dreams and ambitions; failure in job or relationships
Attitudes that cause stress: Certain traits and ways of seeing the world can cause stress. E.g. Pessimism, perfectionism, addictions, poor communication, anger, obsessing and other such negative behavior.
SYMPTOMS OF STRESS
One or more of the following symptoms could mean that you are going through stress:
Headaches: Certain types of headaches can be related to stress.
More frequent colds or flu: There’s an inverse relationship between stress and immunity, so if you’re under too much stress, you may be getting sick more often.
Sleep problems: There are many ways that stress affects sleep. Too much stress can rob you of sleep and make the sleep you get less restorative.
General anxiety: Anxiety does serve an important function for survival, but if you’re feeling anxious much of the time, it could be because you have too many stressors in your life.
Fuzzy thinking: Your body’s stress response pumps your body with hormones that make it possible for you to fight or flee quickly. But when triggered in excess, this stress response can actually cause you to think less quickly. Read the rest of this entry »
Lately, I have been wondering about the contradictions in our thoughts and actions:
