Last night I got an email from an old friend. She wrote:
“Someone I loved for 12 years broke up with me to marry someone else. I am shattered. How can I be normal? In fact, I don’t want to be normal. My positivity is not working. All self-motivation formula are failing. I just want to commit suicide. You said, choose to live, no matter how miserable life is… accept the things you cannot change. But I have lost all hopes… what can I do? My mom has a lot of dreams for me, but I have no hope…”
I am sure she must have already heard all forms of consolation and advice from family and friends e.g.
- He wasn’t meant for you. He was not good enough for you…
- Things could be worse: People break up even after marriage…
- There’s someone for you; you will find him if you allow yourself…
- It’s OK to be depressed, but for how long, is your choice…
- Forget positivity; just acknowledge the good things you do have…
- Don’t worry about motivation; just try to focus on other motives in life, besides having a partner you love…
- Suicide is the surest way to end all misery and grief, but it also ends all hopes and possibilities…
- There are people who love you, who believe in you, who look up to you for inspiration, who have hopes and dreams for you… don’t let them down.
- Right now you have made a choice: to be depressed, to think and feel in a certain way, to not let any positive thoughts enter your mind… tomorrow you can choose to think differently and feel differently.
So I am not going to tell her any of that. Instead, I said a little prayer for her. What would you say to her?
6 thoughts on “Choose to Live!”
Having gone through a similar experience, a divorce after 20 years of marriage, I can so relate to the depression your friend is going through. I would just like you say a prayer for her and tell her “ride the pain, coz there is nothing else you can do right now.”
which points u wrote ,i think will help her
I would have said a prayer for her and would have probably said:
“I can understand a miniscule amount of the pain you are going through, and it must be a great amount. Please do help me to understand a little bit more. You will have to be patient with me when I say to you it is okay not to be normal, sometimes and to lose hope, sometimes and we both know “sometimes” has to be a very brief while”
When we live our life for someone else and that someone leaves, it’s understandable to feel that you have lost the zest to live. Therein lies the problem – in as much as we are in relationships, it is so essential to keep our own identity and individuality. Relationships that we nurture should only occupy a complementary role in our life – never an all-encompassing one!
I would just tell her…..this too shall pass!!!
Three tings in life never cum back!
Three things in life are never sure!
Three things in life tat make u a gr8 person!
Three things in lfe are most Valuable!
U hav an OPPORTUNITY 2 find sum1 bttr…this is d right time
u hav DREAMS 2 B FULLFILD…u r nt sure which dream is goin 2 b full filled soon..
U hav 2 b SINCERE 2 urself…its nt ur fault thn y r u puttin urself in trauma..
u shuld hav sum SELF RESPECT….u r bttr thn her/him …he/she doesnt diserve u…u r more Valuable