Last night I got an email from an old friend. She wrote:
“Someone I loved for 12 years broke up with me to marry someone else. I am shattered. How can I be normal? In fact, I don’t want to be normal. My positivity is not working. All self-motivation formula are failing. I just want to commit suicide. You said, choose to live, no matter how miserable life is… accept the things you cannot change. But I have lost all hopes… what can I do? My mom has a lot of dreams for me, but I have no hope…”
I am sure she must have already heard all forms of consolation and advice from family and friends e.g.
- He wasn’t meant for you. He was not good enough for you…
- Things could be worse: People break up even after marriage…
- There’s someone for you; you will find him if you allow yourself…
- It’s OK to be depressed, but for how long, is your choice…
- Forget positivity; just acknowledge the good things you do have…
- Don’t worry about motivation; just try to focus on other motives in life, besides having a partner you love…
- Suicide is the surest way to end all misery and grief, but it also ends all hopes and possibilities…
- There are people who love you, who believe in you, who look up to you for inspiration, who have hopes and dreams for you… don’t let them down.
- Right now you have made a choice: to be depressed, to think and feel in a certain way, to not let any positive thoughts enter your mind… tomorrow you can choose to think differently and feel differently.
So I am not going to tell her any of that. Instead, I said a little prayer for her. What would you say to her?
Mush Panjwani 
Having gone through a similar experience, a divorce after 20 years of marriage, I can so relate to the depression your friend is going through. I would just like you say a prayer for her and tell her “ride the pain, coz there is nothing else you can do right now.”
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which points u wrote ,i think will help her
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I would have said a prayer for her and would have probably said:
“I can understand a miniscule amount of the pain you are going through, and it must be a great amount. Please do help me to understand a little bit more. You will have to be patient with me when I say to you it is okay not to be normal, sometimes and to lose hope, sometimes and we both know “sometimes” has to be a very brief while”
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When we live our life for someone else and that someone leaves, it’s understandable to feel that you have lost the zest to live. Therein lies the problem – in as much as we are in relationships, it is so essential to keep our own identity and individuality. Relationships that we nurture should only occupy a complementary role in our life – never an all-encompassing one!
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I would just tell her…..this too shall pass!!!
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Three tings in life never cum back!
Words
OPPORTUNITY
Time
Three things in life are never sure!
DREAMS
Success
Fortune
Three things in life tat make u a gr8 person!
Hardwork
SINCERITY
Success
Three things in lfe are most Valuable!
Love
SELF RESPECT
Friends
U hav an OPPORTUNITY 2 find sum1 bttr…this is d right time
u hav DREAMS 2 B FULLFILD…u r nt sure which dream is goin 2 b full filled soon..
U hav 2 b SINCERE 2 urself…its nt ur fault thn y r u puttin urself in trauma..
u shuld hav sum SELF RESPECT….u r bttr thn her/him …he/she doesnt diserve u…u r more Valuable
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