We just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, and we consider ourselves very fortunate to enjoy a great relationship and still be in love. Considering that we are so different from each other in so many ways and that we rarely agree on anything, we often wonder what has kept us so happy together. It’s a few things.
We realize and accept the fact that everyone is different; everyone has his or her strengths and weaknesses. We don’t try to change the other. We choose to focus on the strengths and accept the weaknesses – unless one needs help and encouragement in overcoming a certain weakness. We have come to understand that being in love is not enough for a happy marriage. Happy partners choose to be happy, and they do certain things in a certain way. We have been following a certain unwritten code of conduct about how we treat each other and how we deal with our differences.
Communication is the key. Like in any other relationship, good communication is the key to a happy marriage. You don’t need a degree in communications; it’s mostly common sense. It’s Ok to argue, but you must follow certain rules. Few tips to enhance communication with your partner:
- Be honest.
- Talk to each other often.
- Listen when the other is talking.
- Express any concerns quickly.
- Compliment often; criticize rarely.
- Never criticize in public.
- Never yell at each other.
- Never bring up mistakes of the past.
- Never use the word ‘always’ and ‘never’ in arguments.
- Don’t go to bed with an unsettled argument.
- Say ‘I love you’ often… and mean it.
- Be quick to say ‘I am sorry’.
- Forgive and forget quickly.
- Never keep secrets from each other.
- Keep the in-laws out of your marriage.
What happened to the romance? Remember the first time you started seeing each other? You used to dress up, make-up, put on your best self, hold hands, and do things to please your partner. Why does it have to be any different after few years? Keeping the romance alive is an essential part of being happy with your partner. Some tips for the un-romantics: Continue reading