Feeling unhappy and miserable must be one of the easiest things to do, considering that almost every other person does that most of the time. Here’s how I think people get unhappy, sad and depressed:
- Think of all the things you do not have: more money, the perfect job, better relationships, great health, slim body, free time… that’s sure to make you unhappy and sad.
- Focus on all the imperfections in the people around you: she is not tidy enough; he is not obedient enough; they are not caring enough; people are inconsiderate; he never listens; she never understands… that will make you angry and frustrated.
- Imagine all the things that could go wrong: you could lose your job; the economy could get worse; someone you love could leave you; there could be another tsunami; the world could come to an end; you could get a major illness… that will make you worried and depressed.
- Blame everyone and everything possible for all the problems in your life, except yourself: your parents/upbringing, your country/government, your company/boss/colleagues, your friends, the economy/’market’, customers/buyers, the weather, gods… and see if you feel the helplessness and lack of control.
I know these always work; I have done that quite a few times in my life. Fortunately, I have also learnt the antidote to depression and unhappiness: Be grateful for what you do have; focus on all the good things; do not worry about things that haven’t happened; accept responsibility. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s a fact that how we feel is totally in our control.
“Just as your car runs more smoothly, and requires less energy to go faster and farther, when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings and emotions are in balance.” -Brian Tracy
[The two photos on top and bottom were taken within 15 minutes of each other – Aberdeen Harbor, Hong Kong]