The three symptoms of killing our dreams

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A repost from Paulo Coehlo’s blog, it’s a piece from one of my favorite books, The Pilgrimage.

The first symptom of the process of killing our dreams is the lack of time. The busiest people I have known in my life always have time enough to do everything. Those who do nothing are always tired and pay no attention to the little amount of work they are required to do. They complain constantly that the day is too short. The truth is, they are afraid to fight the Good Fight.

The second symptom of the death of our dreams lies in our certainties. Because we don’t want to see life as a grand adventure, we begin to think of ourselves as wise and fair and correct in asking so little of life. We look beyond the walls of our day-to-day existence, and we hear the sound of lances breaking, we smell the dust and the sweat, and we see the great defeats and the fire in the eyes of the warriors. But we never see the delight, the immense delight in the hearts of those who are engaged in the battle. For them, neither victory nor defeat is important; what’s important is only that they are fighting the Good Fight.

And, finally, the third symptom of the passing of our dreams is peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon; we ask for nothing grand, and we cease to demand anything more than we are willing to give. In that state, we think of ourselves as being mature; we put aside the fantasies of our youth, and we seek personal and professional achievement. We are surprised when people our age say that they still want this or that out of life. But really, deep in our hearts, we know that what has happened is that we have renounced the battle for our dreams – we have refused to fight the Good Fight.

When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we go through a short period of tranquility. But the dead dreams begin to rot within us and to infect our entire being.
We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves. That’s when illnesses and psychoses arise. What we sought to avoid in combat – disappointment and defeat – come upon us because of our cowardice.

And one day, the dead, spoiled dreams make it difficult to breathe, and we actually seek death. It’s death that frees us from our certainties, from our work, and from that terrible peace of our Sunday afternoon.

[Photo from this year’s best collection, taken at Sai Kung, Hong Kong]

Everything you want to have, do or be… is possible!

I have this birthday ritual to look at my dreams, goals and plans, and make any necessary adjustments. During this year’s exercise, I also updated my travel list and learnt that I have been to 39 countries and at least 133 cities. I have around 20 more countries in the to-go list. I hope this post inspires you to follow your dreams, and reminds you that the four steps do work, starting with a list.

Mush Panjwani's Travel Dreams

While I was at it I couldn’t help thinking about how it all started. I think it was April 1986, around my 21st birthday. I was juggling with university, three tuition jobs, my first sales job, a newly married life, and a lot of dreams. It was no coincidence that I found an audiocassette by Zig Ziglar about dreams and goals. He ended the motivational talk by suggesting buying a notebook and making three lists: everything I want to have; everything I want to do; everything I want to be. And I did. I think there were 89 things on the three lists, considering that I did not have much and had not done much.

Over the years, my lists have become more specific with dreams and goals related to personal development, well being, relationships, money, contribution etc. I have added, deleted and edited hundreds of dreams, fulfilled many and still have many to go. Writing and publishing my first book, trekking to see Mount Everest, raising happy and successful kids were some of the most fulfilling goals which all started under one of the dream lists. The four steps usually work, if you have the faith and commitment to your dreams.

Looking forward to any comments or questions 🙂

Train to Lhasa
Train from China to Tibet (Lhasa). Another travel dream!

Mush Talks #13: Julia Wong of ‘Triple Lanterns Cafe’ talks about dreams, happiness and slowing down

Triple Lanterns Café is one of the stilt houses in Tai O Village (Hong Kong), offering beautiful views of the canal, the bridge and sunset, besides great pizzas, cakes and coffees. What makes this café really special though is Julia, the owner, who is always happy and cheerful, and ready for a conversation with every customer. During our visit to Triple Lanterns yesterday, we talked about the story behind the café, dreams, happiness, success, customer service and the importance of slowing down to enjoy life… parts of which were also captured on my phone. Here’s an edited version, and I hope it inspires somebody to follow through on their dreams…

More about achieving your dreams, happiness and positivity at Mush Talks #1-12

5 More Tips to Get Results!

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I continue to apply the four steps to achieve anything with great results. I also get excellent feedback from people who have learnt this and accomplished much! When I see someone struggling with four steps without much success, it is usually due to a dream they don’t believe in, a goal not specific enough, a plan not detailed/clear enough, actions not consistent or persistent enough. The most common challenge is with the action (or lack of). So here are five additional tips to get result while working on your dreams, goals, plans and action:

  1. Make it a priority. Once you have figured out what you need to do every day, make it a priority. Allocate a particular time of the day for the action necessary to achieve the goal. Whether it’s time for exercise for your fitness goal, time for phone calls to achieve your sales goal, time for study for your personal development goal, or time for family for your relationship goal, you must block off the required time to do what’s necessary. And do nothing else in that time.
  2. Get back to routine. If you miss a day of the necessary action, get back to the committed routine the very next day, not next week or next month. It’s so easy to tell ourselves, ‘I missed a few days this week, so what’s the point; I’ll start properly next week, or next month.’ Never listen to that crap!
  3. Be persistent. You can’t plant a seed today and expect a tree tomorrow. You need to water it every day for a few days/weeks before you see the first bud. If it took years to put on that weight, it will take months to get rid of it. If you are learning something new, commit to the plan and stick to it until you succeed. Giving up is not an option if you are really committed to your goal.
  4. Change the plan. If the plan doesn’t work, change the plan, not the goal. If your consistent and persistent actions are not producing the expected results, stop and think, get some advice, check if you are doing it right. Maybe you need a different strategy, a change of direction or a modified plan. Make the necessary adjustment and go after your goal with renewed commitment.
  5. Stay positive and happy. Happiness is the foundation for all success, and positivity is essential for self-motivation. While you are working towards your goals, continue to acknowledge and be grateful for what you already have. Get inspiration from your dreams, and your ability to pursue them. Believe in your self and be positive about the outcome of your actions.

A little progress each day adds up to big results!

What is Success?

For many years, I have struggled to come up with a perfect answer to this question. The following piece from Paulo Coelho’s “Manuscripts Found in Accra” is the best answer I’ve ever read. I hope it inspires you too:

Manuscript found in Accra

Success does not come from having one’s work recognised by others. It is the fruit of the seed that you lovingly planted. When harvest time arrives, you can say to yourself: ‘I succeeded.’

You succeeded in gaining respect for your work because you did not work only to survive, but to demonstrate your love for others.

You managed to finish what you began, even though you did not foresee all the traps along the way. And when your enthusiasm waned because of the difficulties you encountered, you reached for discipline. And when discipline seemed about to disappear because you were tired, you used your moments of repose to think about what steps you needed to take in the future.

You were not paralyzed by the defeats that are inevitable in the lives of those who take risks. You didn’t sit agonising over what you lost when you had an idea that didn’t work.

You didn’t stop when you experienced moments of glory, because you had not yet reached your goal. And when you had to ask for help, you did not feel humiliated. And when you learned that someone needed help, you showed them all that you had learned, without fearing that you might be revealing secrets or being used by others. 

 

Mush’s Lessons from the Himalayas: The joys of disconnecting (being offline)!

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My two weeks in Nepal were full of inspiration, with some important lessons learnt and many beliefs reinforced. Through this series of blog posts, I am sharing some of those thoughts and hoping to inspire some of my readers.

There are many things that we take for granted in life. When you are up in the mountains or in villages, a network on your phone is a privilege and Internet access a luxury. Imagine waking up in the morning completely offline, with no emails, messages or FB to check. And going through the day, using just the camera function on your phone. Once I accepted the reality, I began to see the beauty of the situation and the many benefits of disconnecting, unplugging and being offline:

  • Connection. I was better connected to everything and everyone around me. I was able to better appreciate the beauty of the nature; I was more aware of the presence of other human beings and the opportunity to talk to them, listen to them and learn from them.
  • Inner voice. By ceasing the flow of information and news, and other people’s opinions and updates, I was more in tune with my inner voice. I became more aware of my own thoughts and feelings. I even found solutions to some of my problems, within myself, due to the clarity and focus.
  • Mono-tasking. The increasingly unusual state of doing just one thing at a time. I was reminded of the pleasures in simple things when done with mindfulness – a sip of coffee, a hot shower, breathing with awareness, a bite of wholesome food, an eye contact, a smile, listening to someone with 100% attention!

I was still connecting to the Internet for an hour or so almost every evening after the trek. I was posting photos to Facebook, blogging my daily diary, and even uploading my daily 2-minute videos to YouTube whenever the connection was ‘good’. And I found that even my connected time was so much more productive and efficient due to the focus, and the awareness that I only had an hour or two to get everything done.

Since getting back from the trip, I have incorporated some of these ideas, yet again, into my life. I have switched off many ‘push’ notifications on my phone, so I can better control the flow of information. I have again started doing emails in blocks of an hour, 2-3 times a day. I have again limited my social media time to the bare minimum, and only twice a day. I have again started switching off my phone after 7pm. It’s only been a week, but it’s working out so well then I’m unlikely to go back to the old habits.

What do you think about disconnecting, unplugging and going offline for scheduled periods of time every day? How will that affect your productivity at work and the quality of your time with yourself, friends and family?

Please also check out Dinchack Facebook page for daily inspiration.

Inspiration from a 21-year old Everest climber!

I was lucky to meet this girl during my recent trip to Nepal. She had climbed the Mount Everest last year, and was on her way to climb Lhotse (the 4th tallest mountain in the world). I found her story so inspiring that I recorded a short interview, using my iPhone on the spot, hoping to inspire hundreds of others who read my blog…

What inspired you most from Priyanka’s story? The courage to climb solo; the dream to climb 14 of the highest mountains; the way she finds time to follow her passion… or something else?

You may see my daily Nepal diaries here, and daily video diaries here.