You are not just ‘OK’, you are ‘incredibly blessed’!

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DLOf all the things I have learnt about personal motivation, this is one of the most profound. I learnt this more than 20 years ago from the book Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins, and my life has never been the same:

  • English language has over 500,000 words, but our habitual vocabulary consists of 2,000 to 10,000 words. Less than 2%.
  • There are over 3,000 words to describe human emotions. About 1,000 for positive emotions and about 2,000 for negative emotions.
  • Most words, in addition to their literal meanings, convey distinct emotional intensity. This means our choice of words gives us the power to take the most negative feelings and lower their intensity to the point where they no longer bother us. And similarly, we can take a positive experience and move it to greater heights of pleasure.
  • What are some of the commonly used words to describe negative emotions? Now think of new words that help lower the intensity of the negative emotions e.g.
  • Replace ‘depressed’ with ‘not on top of it’
  • Disappointed with Under whelmed
  • Failing with Learning
  • Frustrated with Challenged
  • Pissed off with Peeved
  • I hate with I prefer
  • Insulted with Misunderstood
  • Painful with Uncomfortable
  • Illness/sickness with Cleansing
  • Stuck with Busy
  • Starved with Hungry
  • Similarly, what are some of the positive/mediocre words that you can replace with more powerful words to increase the intensity of the positive emotion e.g. Continue reading →

    • Do you believe in magic?

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    Some more iCards (inspiration cards) here.

    Good luck, bad luck, who knows?

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    RedLanterns

    Once upon a time, in a far away land, there lived a farmer with his family. This farmer had a horse that one day, ran away to the hills. So the farmer and his son had to plow their fields themselves. Their neighbors watched them working hard and said “Oh, we pity you, what bad luck that your horse ran away!” But the farmer replied “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”

    The next week, the horse returned to the farm, bringing a herd of wild horses with him. “What wonderful luck!” cried the neighbors. But the farmer responded “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”

    Then, the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses. He was thrown off and broke his leg. “Ah, such bad luck!” sympathized the neighbors. Once again, the farmer responded “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”

    A short time after, the emperor recruited all young men to join his army for battle. The son, with his broken leg, was left at home. “What good luck that your son was not forced into the army!” celebrated the neighbors. And the farmer remarked “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”

    A re-post from Eva Snijders’ blog.

    So what’s happening in your life that seems good luck or bad luck?

    [Photo of Chinese red lanterns – symbol of good luck – from Guilin]

     

    I lost my job today, but I am grateful and excited!

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    I lost my job today! Few immediate negative thoughts:

    • How could they do that to me? I’ve been working here for over 16 years!
    • What will I do now? There aren’t many opportunities in my specialized field and my set of skills!
    • How long can I survive without a job? The mortgage, bills, kids… and the bigger dreams!
    • Why did it happen at the worst possible time?

    Fortunately, there were a lot more positive thoughts that followed:

    • Most dynamic companies go through restructuring, reorganizing and cost-cutting. Nothing personal! 
    • Thousands of people lose their jobs every day around the world – there are over 197 million unemployed people. This is part of working life and can happen to anyone, any time.
    • There are endless opportunities if I look with an open mind, and beyond my current industry!
    • It’s an exciting challenge, and I am totally ready for it. I must stay focused, continue to believe and dream.
    • The timing couldn’t be better! I’ll be 48 in a few weeks. It’s time to do something even more exciting!

    And looking back, I felt even more grateful and excited that my job had allowed me to learn so many new things, develop different skills, almost master the art of training, travel the world, see amazing places, meet wonderful people… and above all, make a difference in the lives of so many people in so many places! My job is gone but all of that will stay with me forever! And all of that has prepared me for the next phase of my life.

    “When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change. At such moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back…” -Paolo Coelho

    Please feel free to share your words of support and encouragement through comments.

    Update (17th March): Thank you for such kind, nice, wonderful, amazing, surprising messages! I am deeply touched by your love. And also under a lot of pressure to do something big 🙂 I have no issues with the company, and do not wish to hear anything negative.

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    Happy Women’s Day! 10 quotes women would love…

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    IWD

    I am not a big fan of “days” – New Year day for resolutions, Valentine’s Day to show your love, Clean-up Day to un-clutter or Women’s Day to acknowledge that women rule… But here’s a collection of quotes for all the women in my life and the female readers of this blog. I know you’d love these:

    1. Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. –Groucho Marx
    2. Women like silent men. They think they’re listening. -Marcel Achard
    3. Women have always been the strong ones of the world. The men are always seeking from women a little pillow to put their heads down on. They are always longing for the mother who held them as infants. –Coco Chanel
    4. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. -Author Unknown
    5. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.  Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton
    6. Can you imagine a world without men?  No crime and lots of happy fat women. -Nicole Hollander
    7. A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction. -Oscar Wilde
    8. When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. -Gail Sheehy
    9. Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember. -Author Unknown
    10. Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man and work like a dog. -Caroline K. Simon

    Please tell me which one did you like best. And share your own favorite quotes about women too.

    [Photo of two of the most wonderful, amazing, funny, friendly, beautiful and inspired women in my life.]

     

    One link at a time…

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    The full collection of my iCards (inspiration cards) are posted on this page, using my own photographs. Free to download and share.

     

    6 months on Paleo: maintaining at 75kg and 32.5″!

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    Paleo has become my favorite diet and lifestyle. Not only it allows me to maintain myself at my perfect weight and size, without regular exercise, there are lots of other benefits too!

    I first heard it from Hamza, my son who is a bigger health and fitness freak than I am. Then I read the book, The Paleo Solution. More on that here.

    I started following the diet in September, and lost 3kg and 2 inches of belly fat in 4 weeks, as reported here. By week 6, I had lost 3.5kg and 2.5 inches of belly fat, as posted here with a photo in November 2012.

    By week 8, I had achieved my target of losing 4kg and 3 inches of belly fat. I was down to my perfect weight of 75kg and waist size of 32.5″. Here’s the best part: I have maintained it for the last 4 months! Want to know what the diet really is? Read it here.

    It’s easy to follow. You don’t need to go find or cook anything special. Just remove carbs from your regular meals and add some more vegetables, nuts and lean meat.

    While on Paleo, I feel more energized all day long, even during late afternoon and after dinner. Sleep seems to have become more refreshing and it’s easier to wake up energized.

    If you are serious about weight loss, you must read more on Paleo and give it a try.

    [Photo of one of the best fruit salads I’ve ever had, during one of my travels to the Middle East]

    Bonus time

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    Jugja

    “Bonus time” is an interesting concept that keeps me happy when I am supposed to be angry, frustrated or disappointed.

    If my flight is delayed by an hour, I consider it the ‘bonus time’ I’ve been granted. Full 60 minutes of no plans, no commitments, no schedules! I can do whatever I like – read, work, think, relax, eat, take photos, call family, or just sit and do nothing for a change. Of course, I have the alternative to get angry at the airline; demand explanations; get upset about the delay; think of the rest of the things that would all be delayed by an hour… but none of that is going to help. Next time you have a delay or a wait, try to think of it as a gift of ‘bonus time’ e.g.

    • You have an appointment with a dentist, or with anyone else, but are asked to wait for half an hour when you arrive.
    • It takes you longer than planned on the road, due to traffic.
    • You queue up somewhere and it seems to take forever.

    In each of these situations, you have a choice to get upset or consider the waiting time as ‘bonus time’ in which you can do something positive, productive and unplanned – like making that call to someone special or catching up on the news or thinking some good thoughts or just conscious breathing. Will you try?

    [Photo taken during a road trip in Yogyakarta last week]

    A reason to smile

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    More iCards (inspiration cards) here.

    4 ways to feel unhappy and miserable!

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    Feeling unhappy and miserable must be one of the easiest things to do, considering that almost every other person does that most of the time. Here’s how I think people get unhappy, sad and depressed:

    1. Think of all the things you do not have: more money, the perfect job, better relationships, great health, slim body, free time… that’s sure to make you unhappy and sad.
    2. Focus on all the imperfections in the people around you: she is not tidy enough; he is not obedient enough; they are not caring enough; people are inconsiderate; he never listens; she never understands… that will make you angry and frustrated.
    3. Imagine all the things that could go wrong: you could lose your job; the economy could get worse; someone you love could leave you; there could be another tsunami; the world could come to an end; you could get a major illness… that will make you worried and depressed.
    4. Blame everyone and everything possible for all the problems in your life, except yourself: your parents/upbringing, your country/government, your company/boss/colleagues, your friends, the economy/’market’, customers/buyers, the weather, gods… and see if you feel the helplessness and lack of control.

    I know these always work; I have done that quite a few times in my life. Fortunately, I have also learnt the antidote to depression and unhappiness: Be grateful for what you do have; focus on all the good things; do not worry about things that haven’t happened; accept responsibility. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s a fact that how we feel is totally in our control.

    “Just as your car runs more smoothly, and requires less energy to go faster and farther, when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings and emotions are in balance.” -Brian Tracy

    [The two photos on top and bottom were taken within 15 minutes of each other – Aberdeen Harbor, Hong Kong]

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    Monday morning inspiration!

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    “No one has ever talked himself (or anyone else) out of an undesired emotion by hurling insults or by delivery a moral lecture.” -Nathaniel Branden

    “Don’t worry about the whole world: if you do it will overwhelm you. Worry about one wave at a time. Please yourself. Do something for you, and the rest will fall in line. -David Seabury

    “You are not going to live forever. With the years ahead of you, why not start now to concentrate on making your life as meaningful, free, exciting, and joyous as possible?” -Harry Browne

    “A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.” -Alexander Pope

    “To be nobody but yourself – in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you somebody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” -EE Cummings

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    [Photo taken on the streets of Olango Island. I wondered what’s making them so happy]

     

    Travelogue: Olango Island

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    I have started taking time out to explore new places nearby or around the cities where my work takes me. Yesterday, I had half a day in Cebu before the evening flight back to Hong Kong. There are many islands around Cebu where tourists go on chartered boats for scuba diving, snorkeling, water sports and seafood restaurants. I asked the locals for an island that’s not too far, non-touristy, populated and accessible by public boats. The answer was Olango! But I was warned about bad weather, unreliable boat timings and the risk of getting stranded on the island. That added to the excitement, and I am so glad I went ahead!

    Olango was a 40-minute ride on a small boat. There were rickshaws available at the pier to take you around the huge island. On one end is the Olango Island Wildlife Sanctuary, on the other are beaches and in between is a huge village/town. I insisted to go to the Wildlife Sanctuary through the village, so I got a chance to stop at a local shop for coffee and conversation. At the sanctuary, I found out it was the season to watch migratory birds. There were guides available with powerful telescopes and information about all the birds. It was a beautiful walk up to the bird-watching tower in the middle of the wetland. I was shown Bar-tailed Godwits, Golden Plovers, Rufous-necked Stints, and a few other birds on their winter/summer break from Japan, Korea and China. I also saw Ruddy Turnstones and few kinds of Egrets from amongst the local birds! Continue reading →

    Don’t wait!

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    201301 cakeDon’t wait…

    • for an occasion to bring flowers, buy gifts, send a card or say ‘i love you’ to the one you love
    • to say ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’
    • for the perfect moment; take the moment and make it perfect
    • for the right time; time will never be right
    • for people to be friendly, show them how
    • until your life is almost over to realize how great it’s been
    • for things to happen; make them happen
    • for next year; a year from now you’ll wish you’d started today
    • for the new year to make your resolutions
    • until tomorrow; it may be a day too late!

    What are you waiting for?

    The lies we tell…

    Mush Fitness, Happiness, Health, Inspiration, Life, Motivation, Productivity, Relationships , , ,

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    The lies we tell ourselves and others…
    Lie: I am late because of traffic
    Truth: I am late because I got up late; I am late because I am not organized…

    Lie: I don’t have time to read/exercise/call…
    Truth: I am not really interested or committed

    Lie: I am not good enough for…
    Truth: I haven’t learnt how to…

    And some more…
    There’s plenty of time/life for…
    It’s just one bite…
    People are no good…
    I’ll be happy when…

    What other lies can you add?

    [Photo of sunrise in Hong Kong. Some more photos of the sun and moon between 31st Dec and 1st Jan here]

    Greetings for a new day!

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    More inspiration cards here.

    “Un-inspiring” quotes about the New Year!

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    • “Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
    • “New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” -Mark Twain
    • “Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year. Even when a new century begins it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols.” -Thomas Mann
    • “New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.” -Mark Twain
    • “Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” -Hal Borland
    • “Celebrate each new day, and be grateful for every moment of this wonderful life. Happy New Day!” -yours truly

    It’s that time of the year again – the happy new year wishes, fireworks, cheer, and most importantly, the optimism for the year ahead.

    How about greeting each new day with the same cheer and optimism. Isn’t waking up each morning a reason to be grateful and happy? Isn’t every day a chance to celebrate life and everything it has to offer? If that seems a bit too extreme, then how about ‘happy new week’? Could we not be as excited about the challenges and surprises that each new week brings?

    This year try new month resolutions at the start of every new month. I’ve tried and it works much better than new year resolutions.

    Two related posts about the New Year: You DON’T need New Year resolutions! and Make it happen in 2013 – without any New Year resolutions!

    [Photo of sunrise during an African Safari – December 2011]

    “Just one bite…”

    Mush Fitness, Health, Inspiration

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    Does that sound familiar?

    • Just one bite of that dessert won’t make me fat
    • Just five more minutes of sleep won’t make me late
    • Just one day off from exercise is ok
    • Just one more charge on my credit card won’t make it any worse

    True. If you can really stop after one bite… and that one bite doesn’t lead you to another and then another… For me, resisting the second bite is harder than the first one. And even if I can resist, just one bite leaves me guiltier than no bite. So for me, just one bite is as dangerous! Except of course, on Sundays, when I allow myself to break all the rules – well, almost all. More on the ‘weekly cheat day’ in another post.

    “Your life today is what your choices have made it, but with new choices, you can change directions this very moment.” Just one choice can change your life!

    It’s not them; it’s you!

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    Who is bothering you today?

    Kids who don’t think or behave exactly as you do? Or your spouse due to his annoying habit? Or the driver in front of you that’s too slow? Or someone else who is incompetent, rude, inconsiderate, uncaring…? If other people’s behavior is going to bother you, chances are you will always be angry, hurt, disappointed or frustrated… because ‘they’ are not going to change any time soon.

    So there are only two choices: accept everyone as they are, and focus on your own imperfections. Or continue to be annoyed at everyone who is not ‘perfect’ by your standards. Hint: One of the choices will give you lots of stress!

    “God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change; courage to change the one I can; and the wisdom to know that it’s me.”

    Inspiring moments in Laos
    Inspiring moments in Laos

    Make it happen in 2013 – without any New Year resolutions!

    Mush Inspiration, Motivation , , , , , ,

    2012listI started struggling with my dreams at the age of 15, when I suddenly learnt that I was on my own. I had to stop schooling and start working. It seemed like the end of the world – no education, no family support, no money… all I had were dreams and love for a girl who was going to be my soulmate. I also had  an extremely good luck to find the right people showing me the way and helping me along the way. [Some more of that story in my book introduction here.]

    For over 30 years, I’ve been following what I call the “4-step method” to fulfill my dreams and achieve my goals, big and small, long-term and short-term. I got to the top of my dream job, traveled the world, achieved the health and fitness that I desired, started this blog… and more recently, got my first book published! I have also helped hundreds of people achieve their dreams through the same 4-step method. It’s not easy, but it’s simple:

    1. Dream. It’s the easiest part. We all have dreams. It’s a pity that sometimes we stop dreaming. We ‘learn’ that dreaming is no good; dreaming doesn’t help; dreams don’t come true. If you want a dream to come true, you got to have a dream. To follow step 1, you need to write your dreams down. It helps to think of your dreams as
      • Things I want to do (learn… travel to… contribute to… experience… lose… quit…)
      • Things I want to be (a manager/director… volunteer… a better…)
      • Things I want to have (all the material stuff that money can buy…) [Inspiring quotes about dreams]
    2. Goal. Now that you have your dream list all sorted, pick one or two of them that inspire you the most. The things that can happen over the next 3-6 months. The things you are most passionate about. The things you’d do if you only had a year to live. And make that dream specific and time bound. E.g. ‘I want to travel’ is a dream; ‘I am going to see Guilin in April 2013’ is a goal. ‘I want to lose weight’ is a dream; ‘I am going to lose 10 kg in 10 weeks’ is a goal. You see the difference between a dream and a goal? This is often the hardest part because it requires you to make a commitment to your dream. [Related post] Continue reading →

    Season’s Greetings

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