Life
Inspiration from traveling…
This is a re-post from March 2010 – Three life lessons from traveling:
Many frequent travelers learn a few ‘tricks of the trade’ and develop certain attitudes that help them deal with the stress of traveling and keep sane. I believe some of these provide useful lessons for life:
- Travel light. It’s perhaps the most important advice on traveling. Packing a smaller bag requires planning, discipline and focus on the essentials. It saves time at check-in counters. It’s easier to unpack. Less clutter means better focus, and fewer chances of leaving something behind. You can also move on at short notice. Doesn’t that apply to life too? Whether it’s your desk/desktop, wallet/purse/bag, wardrobe or the house… fewer things mean less clutter, less time wasted on finding stuff, less energy on the maintenance. The same applies to having thousands of ‘friends’ on Facebook, receiving tons of junk mail, maintaining dozens of credit cards… the list goes on. Less is more; lighter the better; quality over quantity.
- Be prepared for surprises. You learn during traveling that everything is not in your control, and things don’t always go as planned. Flights can be delayed or cancelled; your special meal onboard is often mixed up; bags don’t always make the connection; hotels can be over-booked; Internet doesn’t always work… And it’s not because the world is conspiring against you and everyone is out to get you. You can accept these situations with calm or fight and argue and get upset. I often remind upset fellow passengers: There are usually three reasons for a flight to be delayed: there’s something wrong with the plane, or the pilot, or the weather. And I am glad they have found out while we are still on the ground. The same applies to life. Despite great intentions and excellent planning, things do go wrong. And we have to learn to distinguish between situations (that can’t be changed) and problems (that can be solved). Unfortunately, so many people waste so much of their time and energy fighting with situations.
- Enjoy the moment. Just like the unpleasant surprises, Continue reading
Steve Jobs: How to live before you die
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5 inspiring quotes by Steve Jobs
“We don’t get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent. Life is brief, and then you die, you know? And we’ve all chosen to do this with our lives. So it better be damn good. It better be worth it.” (Fortune)
“Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water or do you want a chance to change the world?” (Macstories.net)
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” (Stanford University commencement address, June 2005)
“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful … that’s what matters to me.” (Wall Street Journal 1993, shared by UK Guardian)
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square hole; the ones who see things differently; they’re not fond of rules. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” (Think Different, narrated by Steve Jobs)
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The power of commitment
“When you are interested, you do what’s convenient. When you are committed, you do whatever it takes.”
This post is inspired by someone I met today in Colombo. When he decided to move back to Sri Lanka from the Middle East 15 years ago, his wife wasn’t too happy with the decision. She loved Dubai too much. This man promised his wife that he’ll bring her to Dubai for at least ten days every year. And he hasn’t missed a year since. He told me it was difficult at times to take the ten days off because of work pressure, or other priorities, ‘but a promise is a promise’.
How often do we sabotage our relationships, health, productivity, talent, dreams… by not fulfilling the commitments that we make to ourselves or others. Whether big or small, every broken promise adds up to create an unhappy situation. Some of the most commonly broken promises I can think of:
- To our loved ones: I’ll call you back in a minute. I’ll do it during the weekend. I’ll be there for the… (birthday party or the game or the parent-teacher meeting). We’ll take a vacation this year.
- To our kids: We’ll read it tonight. Yes, I’ll help with your math. I’ll fix it tomorrow. We’ll go there during the weekend.
- At work: I am working on it. I’ll email you today. I’ll clean up my desk. I’ll call you back. I’ll learn the new… (skill, system, program, equipment) soon.
- To ourselves: I’ll start exercising. I’ll read that book. I’ll eat healthy. I’m off desserts. I quit coffee. I’ll wake up earlier. I’ll clean up. I’ll volunteer. I’ll start saving.
And I am as guilty as anybody else. Let’s promise to keep our promises. And commit to fulfill our commitments.
[Photo of Fauja Singh, the 100-year old runner. See the story here]
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3 great benefits of summer!
There’s something good in every person, place and situation. So it is with summer. We can complain about the heat and sweat or remind ourselves of all the goodness that every weather brings. Few benefits of summer that I can think of:
- Detox through sweating. Our skin plays a major role in the detoxification alongside the lungs, kidneys, bowels, liver and the immune system. Sweat carries toxins out of the body and flushes them through the pores. Sweating also helps to regulate body’s temperature. Sweating is a natural sauna!
- Free Vitamin D. Vitamin D is essential for healthy immune system, is a potent anti-inflamatory, helps regulate blood sugar levels, helps lower blood pressure… and many more benefits are still being discovered. People would pay any price to get this vitamin, but you can get it free from the sun!
- More time outdoors. Summer provides an excellent opportunity to switch off the TV, computer and spend more time outdoors. Whether it’s hiking or cycling in the countryside, swimming in the pool or at a beach, walking barefoot in a lawn or at a beach… summer is a great time to enjoy the outdoors with family and friends!
What other benefits can you think of? Please share through comments.
[Photo of a monkey we spotted during the MacLehose stage 5 in Hong Kong a couple of day ago.]
If you could live your life again…
I turned 46 this month. And this birthday, I asked myself a few questions:
- If I could start over, what would I do differently?
- What would I not change at all?
- What have I learnt?
- What do I want to be five years from now, and ten, twenty…?
And I share some of the answers to #1, hoping that the exercise would inspire you as much:
- I would sleep less, and read more.
- I would eat less, and work out more.
- I would complain less, and compliment more.
- I would spend fewer weekends at work, and more at home.
- I would spend more time alone with the one I love.
- I would read more with my kids when they were young.
- I would talk/listen to my parents more often.
- I would watch less TV and fewer movies.
- I would spend less on things, and more on experiences.
- I would save more for travel; I would see more of this world.
- I would start a foundation to educate the poor, or support such foundations.
- I would write a diary of things I learnt.
- I would learn languages, cooking, playing a flute, rock climbing…
- I would stay in touch with more friends and more family members.
- I would plan less, act more.
- I would worry less, breathe more, pray more.
I realized that while I can’t go back in time, I can still make many of these changes today. I can’t change the past but I can change my today, and tomorrow. I have started on the list, and it feels great!
What would you like to do differently with your life?
[Photo of the Hunchbacks taken yesterday during the stage 4 of MacLehose Trail in Hong Kong]
37 things we take for granted, every day!
‘Take for granted’ in the sense that we don’t notice, acknowledge, enjoy these things fully, and even complain about sometimes…
- Waking up alive in the morning – thousands die every day
- Seeing everyone else in the family also waking up alive and safe – no disasters
- Having running water for brushing, shave and shower – millions in the world don’t
- Having a choice of hot or cold or warm water for shower
- Wearing nice clothes, with lots of choices and matching shoes and bag and jewelry
- Eating breakfast and other meals – millions are starving to death
- A job to go to – how many are jobless in your city/country?
- A car, or other means of transport that allows you to get to work on time
- Traffic that keeps moving
- Weather that’s live-able – would you rather be at the poles or Sahara?
- People trusting you with their problems at work
- Appliances and technology that (seem to) make life easier – imagine life without a microwave, washing machine, mobile phone, computer…
- Stable electricity – many places have daily power cuts
- Getting paid on time
- Our ability to see, hear, taste, touch, read, write, think, walk, talk, work, pray, love…
- Our education, knowledge, skills, experience, values…
- Having a home with furnishing and comforts
- Someone waiting for you at home, someone to wait for
- Someone that loves you, someone you love
- Kids – so what if they are not like us
- Friends, and people who care about you, people you care about
- Home-cooked meal
- Enough clothes to change a couple of times within a day
- The air we breathe, water we drink, the variety of food we eat
- Money in the pocket, money in the bank, credit cards – millions live under $1 per day
- Newspapers, magazines and books to read
- TV with 100 channels, and movies to watch
- Games to play
- Clubhouse or gym to workout
- Parents – they are the reason for our being
- Good health and fitness – thousands of hospitals in the world full of millions of sick
- Functioning government
- Good school for kids
- Weekends, public holidays
- Faith, religion, beliefs and values
- Nice bed to sleep in, pillows, blankets, reading lamp, alarm clock…
- Trees, flowers, sunrise, sunset, stars, moon, sea, mountain, rivers, breeze…
How different would our days (and therefore life) be if we noticed, acknowledged, enjoyed and were grateful for even half the things we take for granted every day? Would we be happier, more cheerful and have more enthusiasm? Would we complain less? You bet.
Right now, I am grateful for the long battery life on my mac, the comfortable sofa, the cushion on my lap absorbing the heat from the notebook, the lamp, the cool breeze from the window, the family sleeping quietly, the calm of the morning (4 AM), WordPress, Facebook, people who ask me when they don’t see a new post on my blog… a fridge full of stuff, mostly healthy!
Please share through comments (here or on my Facebook page) what else we usually take for granted, every day. Thanks for reading and sharing.
[Self photography during a beautiful drive in Surabaya yesterday, feeling the rain and breeze]
Live your dash
[Repost from April 2009] This poem continues to be one of the most inspiring pieces for over ten years. It’s been published in many forms. Here’s part of it:
I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars….the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
Read the full poem here. And watch a short movie here.
Trick your brain into happiness
It’s not often that I get a forwarded email with good content. This came from a friend yesterday, without the name of the author or the source. And I am copying it as is, because I believe this is true. I have been practicing and preaching this concept for many years. Try it…
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Did you know that you can actually “trick” your brain into thinking you’re happy? Dr. David Lykken, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at theUniversity of Minnesota says, “Emotions are a combination of internal feelings and physical responses that provide feedback to your brain.” In effect, you can consciously initiate or provide the mental and physical conditions that your brain will naturally translate into feelings and emotions — you basically have the power to influence your mood. Try it for yourself. Smile even when you don’t feel like it. You’ll think it’s silly but studies have shown that people who force themselves to smile eventually develop a more positive attitude towards challenges and setbacks. Smile the moment you wake up. Smile as you put yourself to sleep. Smile at everyone you meet. Laugh at the pettiest things. Get some air into those lungs! More oxygen, more energy, brighter day! Ten minutes of laughter a day –- that’s all you need to ensure a life of contentment. You’ll be surprised that in Asia, some companies have employed a daily “laughter break”. Employees have to walk to a park, form a circle, and force themselves to laugh non-stop for 15 minutes. Company executives swear that this relaxation break has caused worker enthusiasm and productivity to soar! Stand tall and walk fast. Remember your teacher in second grade? She tapped you with a ruler, screaming, “No slouching! Chin up! Walk tall!” You had no idea that she wasn’t just insisting on good posture, she was also making sure you developed a bright and confident outlook in life! Stretch – better yet, exercise! Don’t “think” about your workout, just do it! If you pause, to think about the sweat, the pain, the monotony and the time, you’ll find one excuse or other not to do it. So, don’t rationalize. Just get up and do it. You know that at the end of the workout, you’ll feel good you did it. And if you’re not exactly the workout kind, try dancing! Think only positive thoughts, speak only positive words. Every time you start to think or say something negative, stop. Change your sentences into the positive. Pessimists complain about their problems; optimists think of solutions. Advise, rather than criticize. Encourage, inspire, motivate –- yourself and others. Pick up a lesson, rather than blame. And always count your blessings. These are just a few of the many ways you can jumpstart an overall feeling of happiness and contentment. Remember that your emotions are dictated by your perception of the world around you. And your reactions are a product of choice — you can “choose” to be happy, angry or sad. As Ecrivain Lesage wrote in “Histoire de Gil Blas” in 1735, “I am happy and content because I think I am.” [Photo from the window seat while flying from Dubai to Colombo] |
Inspiring Quotes: Life and Living
Someone in my family died a couple of days ago. A wonderful and kind woman who had been fighting a disease for a long time. And there are two other people, very close to me, who are struggling for life – a two and a half year old and a 60 year old.
We have no control over when and how we will die. But we can choose how we live – with gratefulness, happiness, peace, contentment, love, laughter, fulfillment, forgiveness, action… or with complaints, anger, worries, greed, hate, jealousy, procrastination…
“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrow.” (Pope Paul)
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” (Mahatma Gandhi)
“As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death.” (George Bernard Shaw)
“As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.” (Leonardo Da Vinci)
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” (Mark Twain)
“Death is not the greatest of loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” (Norman Cousins)
“Have courage to live. Anyone can die.” (Robert Cody)
“A man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life.” (Charles Darwin)
“A man whose today is the same as yesterday is as good as dead.” (Imam Ali)
“Life is too short to complain.” (Yours truly)
[Photo of a Muslim graveyard in Sarajevo]
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The most inspiring video ever: 3 A’s of Awesome!
I know that’s a very bold claim, but I haven’t watched anything else that’s so short yet so inspiring and effective!
Check out my new Facebook Page.
Why not a “Happy New Day”?
It’s wonderful to see most people getting excited about the new year – the greetings, fireworks, cheer, and most importantly, the optimism for the year ahead.
I wonder why can’t we greet each new day with the same cheer and optimism. Isn’t waking up each morning a reason to be grateful and happy? Isn’t every day a chance to celebrate life and everything it has to offer? If that seems a bit too extreme, then how about ‘happy new week’? Could we not be as excited about the challenges and surprises that each new week brings?
This year try new month resolutions at the start of every new month. I can tell you from experience, they work much better than new year resolutions.
Next time you get a ‘happy new day’ or a ‘happy new week’ greeting from me, you’ll know why 🙂
PS. I started a Mush’s Page on Facebook to spread the ideas about enhancing life further. It also makes it easier for you to ‘like’, ‘comment’ or ‘share’ with just one click. Check it out.
[Photo of sunrise this morning by Sara]
Happiness, Health and Productivity – best of 2010
Here’s a collection of links to some of the most popular posts on my blog during the last 12 months. I hope you find them useful and consider sharing with friends. These may have some ideas for your New Year Resolutions too:
On Happiness:
- It starts with gratefulness
- Your happiness, in your hands
- 3 more happiness tips
- 5 attitudes of happy people
- Make the right choice
On Health and Nutrition:
- How to lose 3 kg in three weeks
- 11 benefits of eating fruit
- Importance of drinking enough water
- Causes, symptoms and management of stress
- Sleeping problems? Read this
On Productivity:
- Why and how to be punctual
- How not to use your mobile device
- 6 most common email mistakes
- Efficiency vs. effectiveness
- “I just don’t have the time!“
Please let me know which ones did you find most useful.
[Photo taken during a hike in Rotorua, NZ – Nov. 2010]
Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach
Watching lots of seagulls recently, I was reminded of this inspiring book I had read a few times during the late 80’s. I just read it again and realized why it’s called a classic. It’s a short and simple story of a seagull called Jonathan Livingston Seagull, but the message is powerful and inspiring. Instead of a review, here are a few excerpts from the book:
…Most gulls don’t bother to learn more than the simplest flight – how to get from shore to food and back again. For most gulls, it is not flying that matters, but eating. For this gull, it was not eating that mattered, but flight. More than anything else, Jonathan Livingston Seagull loved to fly.
…Jonathan Seagull discovered that boredom and fear and anger are the reasons that a gull’s life is so short, and with these gone from his thought, he lived a long fine life indeed.
…’How you manage to love a mob of birds that has just tried to kill you?’ ‘Oh, you don’t love that! You don’t love hatred and evil, of course. You have to practice and see the real gull, the good in every one of them, and to help them see it in themselves. That’s what I mean by love.’
I recommend this book very highly, regardless of your age, interests or profession. Please share what your favorite books are.
[Photo taken at the Rotorua Lake, NZ. More beautiful photos of NZ here.]
5 things everyone can learn from the Aussies
Having spent ten days in Australia, I was reminded of the many good things about the Aussies:
- Good day, mate! It’s the local greeting but also an attitude of happiness and friendliness. You can only greet each other with enthusiasm if you are really happy and grateful with your life. Otherwise, it will be the usual ‘how are you?’ and ‘not bad’. That attitude is also reflected in their choice of vocabulary. It’s not ‘nice’, it’s ‘fantastic!’ or ‘awesome!’ Simply put, ‘life is good!’
- Work to live. Most Aussies don’t live to work. A standard working day for most offices is 8-4:30 and 9:30-5:30 for most shops. This means more time for life outside of work – family, socializing, sports and hobbies. Yes, many Australians actually have hobbies like gardening, woodworking etc. Do they get less work done compared to those who regularly work overtime in many other countries? I don’t think so.
- Sunday is family day. Unlike many of us, most Aussies actually have a ‘plan’ for Sundays. And the key elements of the plan are family and outdoors – beach, picnics, parks, hikes. That’s not only great bonding time for the family, but also very healthy.
- No worries, mate! That’s also more of an attitude than just another local phrase you hear often. Aussies seem to genuinely believe that no problem is big enough to worry; given some time, most situations sort themselves out; getting stressed doesn’t make things easier. I wonder if they have one of the lowest rates of stress-related illnesses in the world.
- Play to win. Aussies are clearly one of the most competitive people, and it’s not just in sports. I think they generally like to excel at whatever they do – be it making a coffee, raising a child or winning an olympic gold. This is also obvious in a higher standard of services.
I am sure some readers will have many negative things to say about the Aussies. Every one of us, every nation, every place has negatives and positives. But I find myself much happier when focusing on the good rather than the bad, particularly when I am traveling. Please share your positive thoughts about your favorite place.
[Photo taken from a boat in Sydney. You can see some more spectacular photos here.]
The Worst Uses of Your Mobile Phone
I was in a business meeting recently where the other person kept looking at his phone for messages or emails every time it vibrated. He even typed a couple of messages during the hour long meeting while we exchanged important information and discussed a possible business relationship. Do you think I want to do business with this person?
I was reminded of a time when an estate agent was showing me an apartment when his phone rang and he started chatting non-stop. After waiting for about five minutes, I just walked out of the apartment. When he called back to ask what had happened, I told him exactly what had happened and never met him again.
Whether you are in an important business meeting, or having quality time with a loved one, responding to a call or looking at messages/emails only communicates one thing to the other person: You are not as important as the person calling/messaging/emailing me right now. I think these are some of the worst uses of your mobile phone:
- Holding it in your hand or placing it in front of you during a business or personal meeting. If you are expecting a call, let the other person know.
- Looking at it every now and then, and reading emails/messages during important conversations. If you must read or send an urgent message, please excuse first.
- Immersing yourself in your phone when in a social gathering. That only means: Do not disturb, or I am not interested in any conversation.
- Talking loudly on your phone in a public place without any consideration for other people. Either talk softly, or move away from the people.
- Typing on your phone while walking, and expecting other people to watch and move out of your way. Ever seen a collision of two people typing on their phones without looking up?
It’s funny how we use our mobile phones to connect with everyone in the world, and often forget to connect with all the people around us – often the most important people in our lives that we just take for granted.
Here’s a funny video clip of Jerry Seinfeld talking about the ‘iPhone and Blackberry People’.
Do You Respond or React?
In every situation or problem, we have a choice to respond or react. And our choice determines how we get affected by the situation or problem. My favorite example is that of a delayed flight. Most passengers choose to react by asking for an explanation for the delay, calling up family and friends to share the anger (‘why does it always happen to me?‘), demanding to ‘speak with the manager’, expecting free meals, continuing to be angry even after taking off and landing at the destination and perhaps for the rest of the day. If you choose to respond, you could be grateful that they found out the problem with the plane or the pilot or the weather while you are still on the ground, rather than finding out when you are 35,000 feet up in the air. You could catch up on some phone calls or shopping or reading, or simply enjoy doing nothing for a change. If the flight has been indefinitely delayed, you can also respond by trying to find another connection to your destination.
When someone criticizes you, you can react by offering explanations or starting an argument. Or you can respond by trying to understand the other person’s perspective, by accepting that you aren’t perfect and by being grateful that someone cared enough to tell you about your weakness. Continue reading
Watching Fish Can Reduce Stress
Studies have shown that gazing at aquarium fish reduces stress and subsequently lowers blood pressure. Even watching a video of fish has been proven to have therapeutic effects.
During our recent holiday in Dubai, we went to see the much-hyped aquarium at the Atlantis. And it was quite an experience! I also recorded a couple of amateur videos to share the beauty of some of the best fish I had ever seen. Here’s one…
See another one here, and let me know what you think.
Daniel Goleman on Compassion
An inspiring talk by the award-winning author of Emotional Intelligence. Daniel asks why we aren’t more compassionate more of the time…
Mush Panjwani 