Life

What’s your story?

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Whether or not you are a great storyteller or not, you surely are a great story-maker. In fact, most of us are!

  • He didn’t call me because he doesn’t care… why should I call him now…
  • My boss didn’t notice my work… no appreciation… why should I bother…
  • She is late again… not even picking up her phone… so inconsiderate…
  • Look, how this idiot is driving… let me show him…
  • This guy has no idea what he is doing… no sense of customer service…
  • Nobody understands my problems…

You get the idea? These are all the beginnings of great stories – mostly fiction. Question is, why do we mostly choose to make stories that make us unhappy, sad, depressed, angry, frustrated or disappointed? And the problem is, our stories affect our beliefs and actions. Negative stories usually result in negative actions.

If we are going to make stories, why not make positive ones that make us happy, smile, laugh, and feel good about ourselves and other people e.g.

  • He didn’t call me… he must be busy… let me call and find out…
  • My boss didn’t notice my work… perhaps I need to do better…
  • She is late… must be stuck in traffic… phone must be out of battery…
  • The way he is driving, he must have a serious emergency…
  • This guy must be under training… under-paid… tired… on a long shift…
  • Everyone trusts me with their problems… I must be really good…

Try giving people the benefit of doubt. Try to make positive stories, and see if they result in positive actions – yours and others’.

“Some call it a blind spot, other naivete, but Mandela sees almost everyone as virtuous until proven otherwise. He starts with an assumption that you are dealing with him in good faith. He believes that, just as pretending to be brave can lead to acts of real bravery, seeing the good in other people improves the chances that they will reveal their better selves.” -Richard Stengel writes in Mandela’s Way.

10 inspiring quotes about travel

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  1. “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” – Mark Twain
  2. “The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” – St. Augustine
  3. “There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
  4. “No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.” – Lin Yutang
  5. “All travel has its advantages. If the passenger visits better countries, he may learn to improve his own. And if fortune carries him to worse, he may learn to enjoy it.” – Samuel Johnson
  6. “For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
  7. “To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.” – Freya Stark
  8. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
  9. “People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.” – Dagobert D. Runes
  10. “One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” – Henry Miller

Which one did you like best? And would you like to share any other inspiring quotes?

[Photo of sunset at the Monkey Temple in Bali, during a 12-hour holiday. Some more amazing photos here.]

Happy New Week: An inspiration card for you…

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These iCards (inspiration cards) are all un-copyrighted. Please feel free to download more from here, and share.

Shift your mood in 30 seconds or less

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We all have those moments when we feel low, unhappy or a bit depressed. Somebody said something that hurt. Someone didn’t notice your good work and you felt bad. Your actions didn’t produce the desired results, and you got depressed. The problem with such feelings is the negative cycle they create, so it’s important that you quickly reverse the emotions. There are many ways to do that, but the one that takes the least amount of time and effort is gratefulness.

Sit in a quiet place, close your eyes and think of 30 good things in your life that you may be taking for granted e.g.

  1. Waking up alive in the morning – thousands die every day
  2. Seeing everyone else in the family also waking up alive and safe – no disasters
  3. Having running water for brushing, shave and shower – millions in the world don’t
  4. Having a choice of hot or cold or warm water for shower
  5. Wearing nice clothes, with lots of choices and matching shoes and bag and jewelry
  6. Eating breakfast and other meals – millions are starving to death
  7. A job to go to – how many are jobless in your city/country? Continue reading →

How to achieve big goals with small steps

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When I started swimming this summer after almost a year’s break, I could barely do two lengths at a time. Disappointed with my fitness level, I set myself a goal to do 25 lengths (625 meters), without a break, before the season was over. I had six months to achieve the goal but the voices from inside said ‘that’s too hard’, ‘but you are traveling half the time’, ‘why not 20 lengths that I used to do comfortably?’

My only response to the voices was: ‘Small steps towards big goals’. It’s a principle that has always worked for me, and for many others that I have shared it with. It’s a simple principle:

  1. Break it down: Whether the goal is about weight loss, savings or achieving sales targets, it gets easier once you break it down into small, manageable pieces. These can be monthly/weekly milestones or weekly/daily action steps. My dream of writing a book only materialized when I committed to write one chapter every weekend – I had the book ready in two years (100 chapters in 100 weeks).
  2. Stay focused: Once the goal is broken down, only focus on the small steps instead of worrying about the big goal. For example, focus on losing 1kg per week instead of worrying about 20kgs in five months. Or meeting one prospect a day to close one order a week, rather than the seemingly huge annual sales target.
  3. Persist: Don’t give up on the goal, or the action steps. Even if you don’t see the results, or even if the results are not so obvious. You may go through a week without losing 1kg despite the diet and exercise, but carry on the next week and the next. Professional salespeople know this very well – zero order this week often means two orders next week, as long as you continue to see new prospects every day. The more goals you give up on, the harder it will be to set new goals.

Most importantly, we must understand the difference between a wish/dream and a goal: A goal is specific and has a deadline. ‘I wish I could swim like that guy’ or ‘I need to improve my stamina’ is not the same as ‘I will swim 25 lengths in one go, before the end of October.’

In summary: Pick one thing from your wish list. Convert it into a six-month goal. Break it down into monthly milestones and daily or weekly action steps. Start the action; don’t give up. Every goal achieved will give you more confidence in yourself and the principle.

“If you hear a voice within you say, ‘you cannot paint’, then by all means paint. And that voice will be silenced.” -Van Gogh

PS. I did my 25 lengths today. Next goal: 1km swim before the end of the year.

[Photo during River Li cruise with Salma – another one of the important goals achieved this month]

 

The best ferry ride of my life… 30 minutes, 30 photos… colors of the sky…

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I wasn’t sure about the best title for this post. So I wrote all three of them. I wasn’t even sure if this photo post belongs here where I only share tips on happiness, health, productivity, relationships and motivation. But I hope these photos inspire some reader somewhere to take a break from a busy day and enjoy the amazing beauty of nature, whether it be sunrise, sunset, water, hills, snow, leaves… whatever we usually take for granted.

I took this 30-minute ferry ride from Aberdeen (not too far from my place in Hong Kong) to Mo Tat Wan, a part of the Lamma Island. As you can tell, it looked quite grey and gloomy during the first few minutes. Then I got lucky! All of a sudden, as if someone started painting the sky in shades of oranges and reds. The color of the water also started to change simultaneously. It was just magical. I have taken this ride hundreds of times with family and friends, and watched many a spectacular sunsets, but there was something special about today. I was alone, and without any reading material or the iPhone. Just my Canon Ixus. See all the photos individually here.

What do you think?

Download my free photo ebook and photo eCards from here.

Inspirational eCard: Paulo Coelho on dreams

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These eCards are made using my collection of photos, and are free to download and share. More here.

3 rules for guilt-free shopping, and an uncluttered life

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In an earlier post, less stuff = more happiness, I shared how and why I started simplifying my life, five years ago, by reducing my possessions. Once I had done that, the challenge was to keep it that way and ensure that the old habits don’t creep back in.

My short shopping spree today made me realize how religiously I follow certain rules that have allowed me to keep my possessions to the minimum and continue to have a clutter-free life. These rules can be summarized as three simple strategies that anyone can follow. Simple, but not easy…

  1. Shop Mindfully:
    • Only buy what you need – really need. If it’s a temporary need, see if can be borrowed or rented.
    • Go with a shopping list and stay focused. Don’t be distracted by displays or special offers.
    • Don’t buy anything ‘just in case’ you might need it. Trust that you’ll find it ‘just in time’.
    • Always buy quality. It lasts longer, so costs less in the long run.
    • Don’t compromise on the style, size or color, otherwise you may be discarding it too soon. Continue reading →

Inspirational eCard for free download

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These eCards are made using my own photos, and are free to download and share. Some more here.

10 life lessons by Einstein

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  1. Follow Your Curiosity: “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”
  2. Perseverance is Priceless: “It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
  3. Focus on the Present: “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
  4. The Imagination is Powerful: “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions. Imagination is more important than knowledge.”
  5. Make Mistakes: “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”
  6. Live in the Moment: “I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.”
  7. Create Value: “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”
  8. Don’t be repetitive: “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
  9. Knowledge Comes From Experience: “Information is not knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience.”
  10. Learn the Rules and Then Play Better: “You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.” Source: Paolo Coelho’s blog

 

[Photo of an amazing flower during a recent hike in Hong Kong]

5 inspiring quotes by Leo Buscaglia

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  1. Don’t spend your precious time asking, ‘Why isn’t the world a better place?’ It will only be time wasted. The question to ask is ‘How can I make it better?’ To that there is an answer.
  2. The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.
  3. Too often, we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
  4. Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions and their answers would determine whether they could continue their journey in the afterlife. The first question was, ‘Did you bring joy?’ The second was, ‘Did you find joy?’
  5. A wonderful realization will be the day you realize that you are unique in the entire world. There is nothing that is an accident. You are a special combination for a purpose – and don’t let them tell you otherwise… only you can fulfill that tiny space that is yours.

If haven’t read or heard Leo Buscaglia, please search for his talks on YouTube. His lectures on love and living are extremely motivational!

[Photo of the Bride’s Pool Waterfalls in Hong Kong, taken last week]

Read more inspiring pieces and quotes in my book, Dhinchak Life

 

Nelson Mandela’s words of wisdom

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Have you ever been inspired by Nelson Mandela’s stories of the struggle for freedom, his perseverance over the 27 years in prison, his reforms during presidency, or the 250 awards he received over the last 40 years? You can read more about his inspiring life in his book, Long Walk to Freedom, or in this summary at Wikipedia. Today is Mandela’s 94th birthday, and the Nelson Mandela’s International Day. Here’s my selection of ten quotes by Mandela, starting with the one I find the most inspiring:

  1. There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.
  2. A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.
  3. After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
  4. Does anybody really think that they didn’t get what they had because they didn’t have the talent or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?
  5. Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.
  6. If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.
  7. It always seems impossible until its done.
  8. Money won’t create success, the freedom to make it will.
  9. There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.
  10. We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.

Which one did you like best?

[Photo of Cape Town City Hall, taken during my trip in December 2011. This is where Mandela gave his first public speech after being released from the prison.] Another related post.

4 reasons why today is your best day!

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A piece from “Today is Your Best Day” by Roy Lessin:

It’s not your best day because you feel like it is, or because you prevent that it is. It is not your best day because everything is going perfectly, or because you are living in ideal circumstances. It is not your best day because you are in optimum health, or because everything is going you way.

Here are four reasons why today is your best day:

  1. Today is your best day because you are here. God has placed you in this moment of time for a purpose, and the things that happen to you today will be an unfolding of that purpose.
  2. What happened to you yesterday, however easy or difficult, was used by God to help prepare you for what he has for your today.
  3. God will use what happens today to prepare you for what he has for you in future days.
  4. God has used your past and worked it all together for the good, and he will use this day to add to the good that he has already worked on your behalf.

God doesn’t make bad days for your and good days for you. God makes each day fit perfectly into his plans for you.

[Photo of sunrise from one of the McLehose Trails in Hong Kong]

Read more inspiring pieces in my new book, Dhinchak Life

Free ebook: 47 Tips for Enhancing Life

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Today (April 12) I turn 47 years old. It amazes me that I’ve been around that long. I feel like I’ve barely begun. As always, it’s an opportunity to reflect on what I’ve achieved, what I’ve learnt, and where do I want to be in five or ten years from now.

Through this photo book, I am sharing 47 tips on happiness, health, relationships and productivity – all of which can enhance life. The photos used in the book are from my personal collection. You can download the book by clicking on the book cover, or from this link. If you find this useful, please share with others too. I will consider that your birthday gift to me.

The best tips on productivity, motivation and dealing with depression

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I recently had the privilege of connecting and interacting with one of the happiest and most successful people I’ve ever known. He started as a salesman and built one of the biggest direct sales companies in the region. I always admired how he found time for leisure and everything else that he enjoyed doing, even during the busiest times of his business. He retired early and rich, while the company runs on the systems he had built. In the following note, he shared with me his thoughts on motivation, productivity and dealing with depression:

Books: Two books that helped me greatly are:

  1. How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by Harry Browne
  2. The Happiness Purpose by Edward De Bono

And my favorite now for ageless wisdom is The Portable Thoreau edited Carl Bode.

Work Habits: 

  • Keep a ‘time diary’ for 10-30 days. Log everything you do from wake-up to sleep – every phone call, every meeting, every cup of coffee. Review and you will find there is much wasted and unproductive time, which could be spent constructively on work or quality leisure. Make the adjustments.
  • Do jobs IMMEDIATELY and FINISH them.

By doing these two things I accomplished the same in one third of the time than most people! Now I am stress-free and have lots of leisure. Continue reading →

Diana Nyad: precious life, extreme dreams, accepting defeat…

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In the 1970s, Diana Nyad set long-distance swim records that are still unbroken. Thirty years later, at 60, she attempted her longest swim yet, from Cuba to Florida. She talks about how to prepare mentally to achieve an extreme dream, and asks: What will YOU do with your wild, precious life? Extremely inspiring!

Less stuff = more happiness

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I’ve lived with this mantra for over five years now, so I was obviously very interested to watch Graham Hill’s talk on TED with that title. He has summarized the benefits very well, but he doesn’t tell us what did he do with all his collections, possessions and stuff. Here’s my story and tips:

When I started the process of reducing my possessions and simplifying my life, I started with the biggest chunk – my collection of books. I realized I wasn’t going to re-read most of them. My hope that my kids would read them all one day wasn’t realistic because they don’t have the same interests as mine. So I gave them all away to friends or charity. I also got rid of the book shelf, so that the books I continue to buy must be given away soon after I finish reading them. Since the iPad, I only buy digital books. They are cheaper, easy to store/backup and environment friendly. You can increase the font size and brightness; you can highlight passages; you can call up a dictionary by just touching the word. And if you really miss the touch and feel and smell of real books, you can visit the book store once a while and get all that for free. I have also tried audio books, and they have their benefits too.

Then I was able to simplify my entire wardrobe to fit into ten hangers and one drawer – plus a small suitcase with winter stuff on one side and special occasion stuff on the other. I took most of the unnecessary clutter out of my life – excessive suits, shoes, belts, ties, watches (I’ve actually stopped wearing a watch), videos, CDs etc. I still need to finish scanning the photos and get rid of the albums. All of this means, I need less space for my possessions and less maintenance time. I can focus on quality instead of quantity/variety. I only buy things that I really need and have space for. If I buy a new shirt, an old shirt has to go.

My travel bag has got smaller and smaller, regardless of the length of the trip, and is now down to a small carry-on, without the additional backpack that used to go with it. I still take all the photos and make all the movies with my pocket Canon Ixus. That means I can pack easily and quickly, travel much lighter and move around easily. I have applied the same principle to my work i.e. office space and desk. It’s all easier said than done, but extremely rewarding and worthwhile. I believe it makes you more productive, more efficient, lighter and happier!

[Photo of my travel bags taken just now in the hotel room. The shoulder bag has the camera, spare battery, spare SD cards, phone, wallet, passport, charger, pens and few other essentials]

7 Reasons Why New Year Resolutions Don’t Work

Mush Happiness, Health, Life, Motivation, Productivity, Relationships
A new day in Africa! (Sunrise at Hoedspruit, December 2011)

Most of the research suggests that majority of the people do not stick to their resolutions beyond a couple of weeks or months, if at all. And most of the goals established before the New Year end up way short of achievement. Having spent almost 30 years doing resolutions (a few times every year) and working with thousands of salespeople and managers who established annual goals, here’s what I think causes any New Year resolution to fail:

  1. Too casual. Some people come up with resolutions for the sake of resolutions, without giving serious consideration to what they really want.
  2. Not committed enough. Any resolution without total commitment is as good as a dream.
  3. Not specific enough. ‘I’ll lose weight’, ‘I’ll save money’, ‘I’ll travel’ are all examples of non-specific resolutions.
  4. No deadlines. Open-ended resolutions like ‘I’ll quit smoking’ are like any other promise without a time frame that we can easily postpone.
  5. No planning. A resolution without a plan is like a destination without a road map – without knowing how to get there.
  6. No follow-up. Milestones and checkpoints are critical in any journey. Resolutions that are not reviewed periodically often come to haunt us at the end of the year.
  7. No action. You know where you want to go, and how to get there, but you can’t there unless you start moving. Lack of action, laziness, and procrastination are often signs of lack of commitment.

If your resolutions haven’t worked well for you in the past, it’s likely because of one of the above reasons. This year, come up with fewer resolutions but make sure they are very specific, backed up with a full plan of action and have your total commitment. Then take the necessary action with perseverance, and review results often. In short, you need to know what you really want, by when and how… then act now!

Related reading:

Life lesson from giraffes

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I was fortunate to experience the African safari for a few days recently. Besides seeing the ‘big five’ and other wild animals up close, it was also a chance to see nature in its purest form. One of the bonuses was listening to the rangers sharing their knowledge about the animals and experiences in the wild. One of the most amazing narratives that I heard was about the birth of a baby giraffe. I didn’t quite believe it so I checked out the facts online before posting this. Here’s the story…

The bay giraffe falls into this world from eight feet above the ground. The mother giraffe lowers her neck and smooches the baby. Within minutes the baby starts to struggle to get up on its feet. It falls down a few times, but doesn’t give up until it is firmly on its feet, and then it starts walking around. Very often, if the baby doesn’t start struggling to get up, or if the baby gives up after falling down and lies still, the mother would kick it with her long leg that would send the baby flying up in the air and tumbling down on the ground. As the baby lies curled up, the mother kicks the baby again. And this goes on until the baby, still trembling and tired, learns to stand on its feet. Mama giraffe is delighted to see the baby on its feet and walking!

Why does the mother giraffe do that? Because the lions, leopards and hyenas love giraffe meat. And unless the bay giraffe quickly learns to stand and run with the pack, it will have no chance of survival. Most of us though are not quite as lucky as the baby giraffes. When we fail, when we are down, we often stay there. Nobody kicks us out of our comfort zone, to remind us to get back on our feet, to survive and succeed. It’s also an important lesson for the parents.

[Photo of a giraffe and baby in South African wild. Some more good ones here.]