Productivity

4 Reasons Why You Can’t Achieve Your Goals

Mush Motivation, Productivity, Relationships

0909 everest

I have wondered about these questions for many years: Why most people can’t fulfill their dreams? Why most goals are not achieved? Why most plans don’t work out? Why so much action doesn’t produce the desired results?

Working with thousands of salespeople and sales managers for over 20 years, I have learnt that there are only four reasons. Whether it’s about your career, health, money, relationships or any other goals that you fall short of, it must be because:

  1. You don’t really want it. Whatever ‘it’ is that you are after. Are you having sleepless nights thinking and planning for it? What if you don’t get it? Will you settle without it? Do you have a specific time frame in mind? These questions can help you determine if you really want something badly enough. Otherwise, it’s not even a goal – just one of those wishes which may or may not be fulfilled. And you will be OK either way.
  2. You don’t believe it’s possible. It’s an inner voice that tells you, you can’t do it. ‘I can never lose so much weight.’ ‘I don’t think I am made for this.’ ‘It’s just not worth it.’ You believe you don’t have what it takes – the talent, opportunity, looks or whatever.  Continue reading →

How to Sleep Well and Wake up Recharged!

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0908 sleepWe all know that waking up early is good for us. We can exercise, study, work… simply have more life! But most people find it difficult to sleep well and wake up early and fresh. I think a lot of people feel crappy in the morning. Here are some tips and tricks I have learned over the years that help me sleep better and wake up fully recharged – most of the time:

  1. Dinner time and type. If your digestion process goes on during sleep you will wake up tired. So what you eat for dinner and how much time you allow between dinner and bedtime is critical. If your dinner is light and simple, a couple of hours may be enough for digestion. But if you eat a heavy and complex meal, you shouldn’t go to bed for at least four hours after dinner.
  2. Avoid caffeine and chocolate. These have been shown to have the worst affect on the quality of sleep. Depending on your level of tolerance, stay away from these two 4 to 8 hours before bedtime.
  3. Exercise. A tiring workout or a swim is sure to result in a good sleep. But even moderate exercise like a brisk walk can significantly improve the quality of sleep.
  4. Take a bath. A warm bath can often do wonders if you are having a problems with your sleep. Use a moisturizer to avoid dehydrated skin. Continue reading →

Take Time to Read

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0908 readingReading a book is one of the best ways of feeding your mind with information, inspiration and ideas. If we can find time to feed our body 3-5 times a day, we can surely find time to feed our mind at least once a day. If you want to keep yourself at maximum creative capacity, you have to make sure you are taking in new ideas and thoughts. If you are a professional, you need to stay up to date with the latest. If you are a parent, you need to set an example for your kids so they also develop a habit of reading and a love of learning. Few tips:

  1. Set aside a time. It doesn’t have to be much but even a 10-minute commitment to yourself can make a difference. For me, it’s the commute, on flights and at night before going to sleep.
  2. Keep a list. I recently read somewhere how keeping a list of what you have read and what you want to read can be so useful, and I have just started doing that. Continue reading →

How Do You Deal with Loneliness?

Mush Happiness, Life, Productivity ,

0907 sunsetOn this lonely weekend (most of my family still not back from Pakistan), as I was reading Paulo Coelho’s blog, I found his post on loneliness that reflected my own thoughts. Here it is:

As Elvis Presley says : “Are you lonesome tonight?” and when you’re alone, what do you really do? How do you deal, how do you cope with yourself? Is it a burden? Or is it for you a way to dive deep into your soul and understand yourself? In my case, it’s both.

Sometimes I feel really alone, and I have no one to talk to. Sometimes there is this moment that I really need to be alone and to understand what’s going on, not in the world, but within myself. So, your thoughts on loneliness, that very very strange feeling that once a day or a week, we do feel.

[Photo taken by me yesterday from home. See the plane that just landed and the cable cars in the background?]

Let’s Smile More Often!

Mush Happiness, Productivity, Relationships

0909 smilesAccording to Duke University researchers, we are not only attracted to people who smile but we also tend to remember their names. In a 2008 fMRI study, Professor Takashi Tsukiura and Roberto Cabeza showed subjects pictures of smiling and unsmiling individuals, followed by their names. The results found that their subjects’ orbitofrontal cortices – the region of the brain associated with reward processing – were more active when the subjects were learning and recalling the names of smiling individuals. “We are sensitive to positive social signals. We want to remember people who were kind to us, in case we interact with them in the future.”

Isn’t it great to see science backing up the affects of positive and negative attitudes? Let’s smile more often 🙂

The Power of ‘Thank You’ – two magic words!

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In this deceptively simple 3-minute talk, Dr. Laura Trice muses on the power of the magic words “thank you” — to deepen a friendship, to repair a bond, to make sure another person knows what they mean to you. Try it.

4 Tips on Dealing with Negative People

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0909 negative thinkingDuring the last few days, I heard a lot of negative stuff about a variety of things:

  • About the city and the government – traffic is bad; roads are dirty; power failures don’t stop; the government is corrupt; business is down; inflation is up…
  • About people – she is disorganized; he is slow; they are not ambitious; she doesn’t get it; he doesn’t listen; how can people be so insensitive…
  • About future predictions – this country won’t make any progress; weather is only going to get worse; business will get tougher; you won’t understand…

It’s strange how some people have a mission in life – to spread gloom and pessimism. And how discussing any of this would help anyone. I wondered if there’s such a things as ‘brain mask’ that can protect you from the affects of negativity – like a face mask that protects you from catching germs. Here’s my strategy to deal with negative people, depending on the person and the situation: Continue reading →

The Power of Breathing

Mush Happiness, Health, Life, Motivation, Productivity, Relationships ,

0909 breathe

Breathe. Breathing can transform your life.

If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.

If you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened, breathe. It will bring you back to the present.

If you are discouraged and have forgotten your purpose in life, breathe. It will remind you about how precious life is, and that each breath in this life is a gift you need to appreciate. Make the most of this gift.

If you have too many tasks to do, or are scattered during your workday, breathe. It will help bring you into focus, to concentrate on the most important task you need to be focusing on right now. Continue reading →

Weekly Recommendations

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For the week ending Sunday, 28/06:

Happy reading.

What Do You Expect?

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When the pilot announced, “…and the ground temperature is 38 degrees centigrade”, I was excited. Because I was expecting 40-45 degrees. After all, it was Delhi and the month was June. During the next 24 hours, I heard many people complaining of the heat – taxi drivers, colleagues, friends etc. And I asked everyone the same questions: What do you expect? And I realized the power of these four magic words like never before. They seemed to diffuse the anger, put things in perspective, and even reduce the temperature a little bit!

The next time traffic bothers you, ask yourself these four magic words. What do you expect? Did you expect everyone else to stay at home today? Or did you expect everyone else to walk to work today? Or did you expect new roads and flyovers to come up during the night? Or did you expect everyone to move to the side and let your car or bus pass?

Have you noticed how parents expect their kids to behave like mature grown-ups – tidy room, homework on time, healthy eating habits and all. Teachers expect all students to be intelligent and interested in the subject. Salespeople expect an order on every presentation. Managers expect everyone to be competent and committed all the time. And the result is… anger, frustration, disappointment.

I know this seems to go against the philosophy of ‘expect the best’, ‘you get what you think of’ and ‘the secret: our thoughts become things’. But not really. Positive thinking is not about unrealistic expectations. I expect most people to be nice, but not all. I expect myself to be healthy, active and energetic most of the time – so it’s not hard for me to accept illness when it comes once in a while.

So, what do you expect? And do you always get what you expect?

Weekly Recommendations

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First off, my apologies for missing out on the weekly posts past couple of weeks. Exams/work/partying got the best of me.

Here are my top picks for the week ending Sunday, 21/06:

Enjoy.

The 4 D’s of Time Management!

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Originally published on 3rd April:

We are all so busy. We have so many things to do, and so little time. We can’t get everything done. And even if we do, we don’t always get the sense of fulfillment. Most time management books try to teach you how to do more in less time. I think the secret to fulfillment is doing less, not more, but doing it with passion and attention and focus. To do less, I use the “4 D’s Principle”:

  1. First D is for ‘Drop it’. Some things don’t need to be done at all. E.g. what would happen if you don’t take that call while having dinner with your family? What if you don’t go to pick up that friend from the airport? What difference would it make?
  2. Second D is for ‘Delay it’. You notice your car is dirty. Do you have to wash it right now, or you can do it tomorrow? That email doesn’t have to be answered right now; you can do it after completing the proposal you are working on. Are there things you do every day that can be done once a week? Or things you do every week that can be done once a month?
  3. Third D is for ‘Delegate it’. So here’s something that can’t be dropped or delayed e.g. Your child needs to be taken to a doctor. The air conditioning needs to be fixed. The customer needs a product replacement or a refund. do you have to do it yourself, or you can get someone else to do it for you? You’ll be surprised how many people are willing to do things for you, only if you ask (nicely).
  4. Fourth D is obviously ‘Do it’. Your daily exercise. Time with your kids – reading, talking, playing, helping them with their school work, or just listening to them. Being with your loved one – the dinner, movie, walk or just being together. That customer you need to call. That paper you need to write. The books you want to read. The friend you want to call. The vacation that you need. These are some of the things you won’t have to drop, delay or delegate if you follow the 4 D’s.

Look at all the stuff you do and see what can be dropped, delayed or delegated. How much more time you’ll have to do the things that really matter – that are important, as well as urgent! Please share your own examples.

Great Advice for Unemployed Graduates

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0906 unemployed graduatesA very interesting post in Seth Godin’s blog:

Fewer college grads have jobs than at any other time in recent memory—a report by the National Association of Colleges and Employers annual student survey said that 20 percent of 2009 college graduates who applied for a job actually have one.  So, what should the unfortunate 80% do?

How about a post-graduate year doing some combination of the following (not just one, how about all):

  • Spend twenty hours a week running a project for a non-profit.
  • Teach yourself Java, HTML, Flash, PHP and SQL. Not a little, but mastery. [I used the word mastery to distinguish it from ‘familiarity’ which is what you get from one of those Dummies type books. I would hope you could write code that solves problems, works and is reasonably clear.]
  • Volunteer to coach or assistant coach a kids sports team.
  • Start, run and grow an online community.
  • Give a speech a week to local organizations.
  • Write a regular newsletter or blog about an industry you care about.
  • Learn a foreign language fluently.
  • Write three detailed business plans for projects in the industry you care about.
  • Self-publish a book.
  • Run a marathon.

Beats law school.

If you wake up every morning at 6, give up TV and treat this list like a job, you’ll have no trouble accomplishing everything on it. Everything! When you do, what happens to your job prospects?

5 Benefits of Rising Early!

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0906 sunrise, phuketMost people seem to start their day in a rush – rushing to get ready, rushing with the breakfast, rushing to work. These people often spend their entire day in a rush, playing catch-up with the rest of the world. This can be easily avoided by getting up a little earlier. There are many other benefits of getting up early, but I will list the five that have always worked for me:

  1. Gratefulness. It’s difficult to be grateful for the moment when you are getting late for work. But if you don’t have to rush, you can enjoy every moment. And be grateful for being alive today, for the health you have, for the comforts of your home, for the family you have, for the food you eat, for the work you do…
  2. Bonus Hour. Most of us complain of not having enough time for the things we want to do e.g. exercise, reading, or pursuing other interests and ambitions like learning a language, writing a book, starting a blog. The easiest way to achieve these is by giving yourself 30 minutes or an hour of bonus time in the morning.
  3. Quiet Time. There’s something special about the calm of the morning – no sounds from TV, kids, phones or traffic. There’s also less clutter in your mind which allows you to think and concentrate better. Any brain work that takes hours during the day can sometimes be achieved in half the time if done early morning.
  4. Beat the Rush. Your commute time will cut down if you leave home before the rush hour. You’ll spend less time queuing up for elevators. You’ll have to get used to the emptiness – at the gym or pool, on the road, in the train, at the office… everywhere.
  5. Get Ahead. Getting to work half an hour before everybody else gives you time to plan, prioritize and organize. Less distractions of the phone, email and people can allow you to focus better on the most important tasks of the day. You get more done, and leave on time, again beating the rush hour.

Even if you work from home, there’s plenty of reason to start the day before everyone else does. And if you are a housewife, who usually spend the day taking care of others, this could be your time, to do the things just for yourself!

Please share your experiences of getting up early, or late.

5 Most Popular Posts

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Following are links to the five most popular/favorite posts on this blog so far – considering the number of views, forwards and comments:

  1. How to improve the quality of life, one day at a time: Have a great day!
  2. The top three excuses for not exercising, and how to handle these: What’s your excuse?
  3. Lesson in patience, persistence and positive attitude from a uni student: Must read if you are in sales!
  4. A book recommendation with an excerpt: Make Today Count!
  5. Too much to do and too little time? Then this one’s for you: Do less, get more done!

I’ll look forward to your comments.

Hamza’s Recommendations

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I wait for, and read with great interest, Hamza’s weekly recommendation of reading material. Here, I have expanded parts of few of last week’s recommendations:

From Uncluttered Aphorisms:

  • The less you own, the less you have to clean. This applies to quantity of objects as well as square footage in your home.
  • One in, one out. If you buy something new, you need to get rid of whatever it’s replacing.
  • If you get it out, put it back. An especially great rule to implement to keep your home and office orderly.
  • Guilt is not a reason to keep something. This one is self explanatory.

From 9 Lists to keep Updated:

Gift Ideas list: If I think of something that would be a great gift for a person I might some day buy a gift, I write down something like “Mom – Rollerblades”. That way, when my Mom’s birthday comes up and I realize I haven’t been paying attention for a whole year, I’ve got some backup ideas. This one, more than all the other lists here, has come in handy over and over in my life.

Watch, Read, Listen List: Another critical one for me, as a music and movie junkie. If a movie gets suggested to me, or I’m told I absolutely have to hear a particular band, they go on the list. If I have some time, I’ll go through the bands and see if there’s anything good. If I’m in need of another book, I try to pull one from my list rather than just reading whatever is nearby. These lists are populated by friends, blogs, and any other source you can think of, and they’ve provided me with a ton of great movies, music, and books.

Why You Should Unclutter, Play, and Keep Lists

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Here it is, your weekly fix of useful posts on everything from uncluttering (is that a word?) to the swine flu.

For the week ending Sunday, 03/05:

Enjoy.

Health, Simplicity, Procrastination and Goals

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It wasn’t easy compiling this week’s list of links/posts as there were way too many awesome articles swirling around the blogosphere to choose from, but here are the shortlisted six that are a must-read.

For the week ending Sunday, 26/04:

Leadership, Uncluttering, and Your Worst Enemy…

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Another week has gone by, and with another week comes another interesting list of posts that you should check out in your spare time.

Here are 5 articles worth reading for the week ending Sunday, 19/04.

Enjoy.

Best Kept Secret To Time Management – The Pareto Principle

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Often in life, regardless of your profession, you will struggle to find the balance between all your responsibilities/obligations/interests/hobbies. Too much to do. Too little time.

As a university student, here are things I see all too often. Some study too hard, so their social life takes a hit. Some work long hours at their part-time jobs to earn money, so their academic life takes a hit. Some spend way too much time with friends, so their finances/academics both get screwed over. You get the picture.

I have often found myself in situations where everyone around me would be studying for hours on end for an exam whereas I would be doing something entirely different. I would spend half the time on revision, yet still come out with similar results, was I smarter than the others? No. I was on to something. As I was flicking through some of my management textbooks earlier today, it turns out that there is a name for that “something”:

The Pareto Principle.

This principle put simply, states that for many events roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. In other words, most of the results you achieve are due to a small minority of your actions. Here are some real world applications of the Pareto principle that I’ve come across after some research:

  • 80% of your knowledge for an exam is likely to be gained from 20% of your total time spent on revision
  • 80% of your improvement in a sport will likely be achieved from 20% of your time practicing/training
  • 80% of your weight loss/muscle gain will be achieved by 20% of the time of you spend in the gym
  • 20% of your clients may give you 80% of your revenue
  • 20% of product defects/computer bugs cause 80% of the problems
  • 20% of your employees are likely to be the cause of 80% of the company’s total results/profitability

The rule can be applied to almost anything in life. The key is to identify, and really focus, on that 20% and ditch the rest to make space for other things in life. If something isn’t going to get done, something on your to-do list must slip, make sure it’s not part of that 20 percent. Work smart, not hard.