Happiness
Negative Emotions Can Cause Heart Diseases!
There’s huge amounts of research into the effects of our emotions on our health. It seems to have been established that negative emotions like anger, anxiety, bitterness, un-forgiveness and depression release chemicals into our system that weaken our immune system and reduce its ability to fight disease. And positive emotions like happiness, gratefulness, pleasure, love and kindness produce chemicals that strengthen the immune system. Following quotes by experts suggest a direct link between stress and heart diseases, especially in women:
“Because men’s hearts aren’t as responsive to emotional stimuli, emotion is a more important predictor of heart problems in women. Hurtful emotions can cause a woman’s arteries to spasm and close down like a boa constrictor squeezing around its prey.” (Dr. Mehmet Oz, MD, Cardio Surgeon at NY-Presbyterian/Colombia University.)
“Stressful emotions account for roughly 30 percent of all heart attacks. They rank at par with high blood pressure and abdominal fat, straining the heart by increasing your rate and flooding your body with high levels of potentially toxic hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.” (Landmark Interheart Study – a survey of heart disease in 24,000 people in 53 countries)
“Stress from negative emotions also makes the blood clot faster, adding to heart disease risk. Stress can also play an indirect role in heart disease by interfering with exercise, a healthy diet and adequate sleep.” (Karina Davidson, Ph.D., co-director of the Center for Behavioral Cardiovascular Health at Colombia University Medical Center)
“Anger, anxiety and depression are the main ways women channel stress, and each emotion has a profound effect on the heart.” (Redford Williams, MD, Director of Behavioral Research at Duke University and author of In Control.)
Change Anything That’s Causing You Unhappiness
“Every day, God gives us a moment when it is possible to change anything that is causing us unhappiness. The magic moment is the moment when a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ can change our whole existence. Every day, we try to pretend that we do not see that moment, that it does not exist, that today is the same as yesterday and that tomorrow will be the same too.
However, anyone who pays close attention to his day will discover the magic moment. It might be hidden in the instant that we put the key in the door in the morning, in the moment of silence after supper, in the thousand and one things that appear to us to be the same. This moment exists, a moment in which all the strength of the stars flows through us and allows us to perform miracles.”
By Paulo Coelho in By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept.
More stuff on having a great day: Great day or lousy day? and Make Today Count!
45 Tips for a Happy Marriage!
We just celebrated our 24th marriage anniversary and it’s been over 25 years since we started seeing each other. We consider ourselves very fortunate to enjoy a great relationship and still be in love. Considering that we are so different from each other in so many ways and that we rarely agree on anything, we often wonder what has kept us so happy together. It’s a few things.
We realize and accept the fact that everyone is different; everyone has his or her strengths and weaknesses. We don’t try to change the other. We choose to focus on the strengths and accept the weaknesses – unless one needs help and encouragement in overcoming a certain weakness. We have come to understand that being in love is not enough for a happy marriage. Happy partners choose to be happy, and they do certain things in a certain way. We have been following a certain unwritten code of conduct about how we treat each other and how we deal with our differences.
Communication is the key. Like in any other relationship, good communication is the key to a happy marriage. You don’t need a degree in communications; it’s mostly common sense. It’s Ok to argue, but you must follow certain rules. Few tips to enhance communication with your partner: Continue reading
How to Sleep Well and Wake up Recharged!
We all know that waking up early is good for us. We can exercise, study, work… simply have more life! But most people find it difficult to sleep well and wake up early and fresh. I think a lot of people feel crappy in the morning. Here are some tips and tricks I have learned over the years that help me sleep better and wake up fully recharged – most of the time:
- Dinner time and type. If your digestion process goes on during sleep you will wake up tired. So what you eat for dinner and how much time you allow between dinner and bedtime is critical. If your dinner is light and simple, a couple of hours may be enough for digestion. But if you eat a heavy and complex meal, you shouldn’t go to bed for at least four hours after dinner.
- Avoid caffeine and chocolate. These have been shown to have the worst affect on the quality of sleep. Depending on your level of tolerance, stay away from these two 4 to 8 hours before bedtime.
- Exercise. A tiring workout or a swim is sure to result in a good sleep. But even moderate exercise like a brisk walk can significantly improve the quality of sleep.
- Take a bath. A warm bath can often do wonders if you are having a problems with your sleep. Use a moisturizer to avoid dehydrated skin. Continue reading
Beware: Happiness is Contagious!
After seeing Dan Ariely’s video on TED, I started reading his blog and found the following post really interesting:
Social scientists used to have a straightforward, if tongue-in-cheek, answer to the question of how to become happy: Surround yourself with people who are uglier, poorer and shorter than you are – and who are unhappily married and have annoying kids. You will compare yourself with these people, and the contrast will cheer you up.
Nicholas Christakis, 47, a physician and sociologist at Harvard University, challenges this idea. Using data from a study that tracked about 5,000 people over 20 years, he suggests that happiness, like the flu, can spread from person to person. When people who are close to us, both in terms of social ties (friends or relatives) and physical proximity, become happier, we do too. Continue reading
Inspiring Quotes: Paulo Coelho on Chance
It’s not difficult to rebuild a life. All we need is to be aware that we have the same strength we had before, and to use it in our favor. (The Fifth Mountain)
Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant. (Eleven Minutes)
No one knows what is going to happen in the next few minutes, and yet people still go forward, because they have trust, because they have faith. (Brida)
The secret lies in the present – if you pay attention to the present, you will be able to improve it. And if you improve the present, whatever happens afterwards will eb better too. Each day brings us Eternity. (The Alchemist)
How Do You Deal with Loneliness?
On this lonely weekend (most of my family still not back from Pakistan), as I was reading Paulo Coelho’s blog, I found his post on loneliness that reflected my own thoughts. Here it is:
As Elvis Presley says : “Are you lonesome tonight?” and when you’re alone, what do you really do? How do you deal, how do you cope with yourself? Is it a burden? Or is it for you a way to dive deep into your soul and understand yourself? In my case, it’s both.
Sometimes I feel really alone, and I have no one to talk to. Sometimes there is this moment that I really need to be alone and to understand what’s going on, not in the world, but within myself. So, your thoughts on loneliness, that very very strange feeling that once a day or a week, we do feel.
[Photo taken by me yesterday from home. See the plane that just landed and the cable cars in the background?]
Let’s Smile More Often!
According to Duke University researchers, we are not only attracted to people who smile but we also tend to remember their names. In a 2008 fMRI study, Professor Takashi Tsukiura and Roberto Cabeza showed subjects pictures of smiling and unsmiling individuals, followed by their names. The results found that their subjects’ orbitofrontal cortices – the region of the brain associated with reward processing – were more active when the subjects were learning and recalling the names of smiling individuals. “We are sensitive to positive social signals. We want to remember people who were kind to us, in case we interact with them in the future.”
Isn’t it great to see science backing up the affects of positive and negative attitudes? Let’s smile more often 🙂
The Power of ‘Thank You’ – two magic words!
In this deceptively simple 3-minute talk, Dr. Laura Trice muses on the power of the magic words “thank you” — to deepen a friendship, to repair a bond, to make sure another person knows what they mean to you. Try it.
4 Tips on Dealing with Negative People
During the last few days, I heard a lot of negative stuff about a variety of things:
- About the city and the government – traffic is bad; roads are dirty; power failures don’t stop; the government is corrupt; business is down; inflation is up…
- About people – she is disorganized; he is slow; they are not ambitious; she doesn’t get it; he doesn’t listen; how can people be so insensitive…
- About future predictions – this country won’t make any progress; weather is only going to get worse; business will get tougher; you won’t understand…
It’s strange how some people have a mission in life – to spread gloom and pessimism. And how discussing any of this would help anyone. I wondered if there’s such a things as ‘brain mask’ that can protect you from the affects of negativity – like a face mask that protects you from catching germs. Here’s my strategy to deal with negative people, depending on the person and the situation: Continue reading
The Power of Breathing
Breathe. Breathing can transform your life.
If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.
If you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened, breathe. It will bring you back to the present.
If you are discouraged and have forgotten your purpose in life, breathe. It will remind you about how precious life is, and that each breath in this life is a gift you need to appreciate. Make the most of this gift.
If you have too many tasks to do, or are scattered during your workday, breathe. It will help bring you into focus, to concentrate on the most important task you need to be focusing on right now. Continue reading
Favorite Quotes by Leo Buscaglia
Change is the end result of all true learning.
Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever.
It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them.
Life lived for tomorrow will always be just a day away from being realized.
The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.
Watch one of his short videos: Only You Can Make the Difference
Weekly Recommendations
For the week ending Sunday, 28/06:
- Lifehack posts some useful advice for those of us who suffer from poor posture – Pain and Posture
- For times when writing a to-do list just isn’t appropriate – The Have-Done List
- Leo on Zen Habits puts together all the top happiness-related posts – All the Advice on Happiness You’ll Ever Need in One Post
- My favorite this week – 39 Ways To Live And Not Merely Exist
Happy reading.
8 Keys to Success by Richard St. John
Why do people succeed? Is it because they’re smart? Or are they just lucky? Neither. Analyst Richard St. John condenses years of interviews into an unmissable 3-minute slideshow on the real secrets of success:
What Do You Expect?
When the pilot announced, “…and the ground temperature is 38 degrees centigrade”, I was excited. Because I was expecting 40-45 degrees. After all, it was Delhi and the month was June. During the next 24 hours, I heard many people complaining of the heat – taxi drivers, colleagues, friends etc. And I asked everyone the same questions: What do you expect? And I realized the power of these four magic words like never before. They seemed to diffuse the anger, put things in perspective, and even reduce the temperature a little bit!
The next time traffic bothers you, ask yourself these four magic words. What do you expect? Did you expect everyone else to stay at home today? Or did you expect everyone else to walk to work today? Or did you expect new roads and flyovers to come up during the night? Or did you expect everyone to move to the side and let your car or bus pass?
Have you noticed how parents expect their kids to behave like mature grown-ups – tidy room, homework on time, healthy eating habits and all. Teachers expect all students to be intelligent and interested in the subject. Salespeople expect an order on every presentation. Managers expect everyone to be competent and committed all the time. And the result is… anger, frustration, disappointment.
I know this seems to go against the philosophy of ‘expect the best’, ‘you get what you think of’ and ‘the secret: our thoughts become things’. But not really. Positive thinking is not about unrealistic expectations. I expect most people to be nice, but not all. I expect myself to be healthy, active and energetic most of the time – so it’s not hard for me to accept illness when it comes once in a while.
So, what do you expect? And do you always get what you expect?
Weekly Recommendations
First off, my apologies for missing out on the weekly posts past couple of weeks. Exams/work/partying got the best of me.
Here are my top picks for the week ending Sunday, 21/06:
- Seth Godin lists a few goals/principles everyone should aspire to live by – You Matter
- Nate on It Starts With Us shares his thoughts on gaining trust/respect from your colleagues – 12 Simple Ways To Impress People At Work
- Health.com reports that people with a greater sense of purpose live longer. Surprise surprise – Have Purpose In Life? You Might Live Longer
- The folks at Focus list some back-to-basics rules for management – 101 Common Sense Rules For Leaders
- Chris on The Art Of Nonconformity imparts some useful wisdom on the idea of sufficiency – Sufficiency
- Though personally not too big on ideas of frugality, Ann on Get Rich Slowly mentions some worth looking at – The Wisdom Of My Father
Enjoy.
John Wooden on True Success
John Wooden, affectionately known as Coach, led UCLA to record wins that are still unmatched in the world of basketball. Today, he continues to share the values and life lessons he passed to his players, emphasizing success that’s about much more than winning. In this inspiring talk he shares the advice he gave his players at UCLA, quotes poetry and remembers his father’s wisdom.
5 Most Popular Posts
Following are links to the five most popular/favorite posts on this blog so far – considering the number of views, forwards and comments:
- How to improve the quality of life, one day at a time: Have a great day!
- The top three excuses for not exercising, and how to handle these: What’s your excuse?
- Lesson in patience, persistence and positive attitude from a uni student: Must read if you are in sales!
- A book recommendation with an excerpt: Make Today Count!
- Too much to do and too little time? Then this one’s for you: Do less, get more done!
I’ll look forward to your comments.
Mush Panjwani 