More iCards (inspiration cards) here.
Happiness
10 things I’ve learnt about happiness
A section from my ebook, ‘47 Tips for Enhancing Life‘. On happiness:
- If I am not happy here and now, I never will be.
- I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
- Happiness comes from gratefulness – noticing, acknowledging and enjoying – what I do have.
- One of the easiest ways to become happy is to make someone else happy.
- Living in the present makes me happier than living in the past or the future.
- I don’t have to smile after I am happy; smiling makes me happy. Similarly, laughing, singing and dancing makes us happy.
- Nature makes me happy – sunset, full moon, sea, mountains, trees, waterfalls, flowers…
- Happiness is contagious.
- Most of the unhappiness in the world is caused by situations – things that are beyond our control.
- Less stuff usually means more happiness.
You may download the free photo ebook from here.
[Photo taken recently around Phi Phi Island in Phuket]
Happy New Week: thought for the week
What’s the difference between problems and situations, or responding and reacting? Related post.
Why ‘Happy New Week?’ Related post.
Did you read about the official launch of my book: Dhinchak Life?
What’s your story?
Whether or not you are a great storyteller or not, you surely are a great story-maker. In fact, most of us are!
- He didn’t call me because he doesn’t care… why should I call him now…
- My boss didn’t notice my work… no appreciation… why should I bother…
- She is late again… not even picking up her phone… so inconsiderate…
- Look, how this idiot is driving… let me show him…
- This guy has no idea what he is doing… no sense of customer service…
- Nobody understands my problems…
You get the idea? These are all the beginnings of great stories – mostly fiction. Question is, why do we mostly choose to make stories that make us unhappy, sad, depressed, angry, frustrated or disappointed? And the problem is, our stories affect our beliefs and actions. Negative stories usually result in negative actions.
If we are going to make stories, why not make positive ones that make us happy, smile, laugh, and feel good about ourselves and other people e.g.
- He didn’t call me… he must be busy… let me call and find out…
- My boss didn’t notice my work… perhaps I need to do better…
- She is late… must be stuck in traffic… phone must be out of battery…
- The way he is driving, he must have a serious emergency…
- This guy must be under training… under-paid… tired… on a long shift…
- Everyone trusts me with their problems… I must be really good…
Try giving people the benefit of doubt. Try to make positive stories, and see if they result in positive actions – yours and others’.
“Some call it a blind spot, other naivete, but Mandela sees almost everyone as virtuous until proven otherwise. He starts with an assumption that you are dealing with him in good faith. He believes that, just as pretending to be brave can lead to acts of real bravery, seeing the good in other people improves the chances that they will reveal their better selves.” -Richard Stengel writes in Mandela’s Way.
Shift your mood in 30 seconds or less
We all have those moments when we feel low, unhappy or a bit depressed. Somebody said something that hurt. Someone didn’t notice your good work and you felt bad. Your actions didn’t produce the desired results, and you got depressed. The problem with such feelings is the negative cycle they create, so it’s important that you quickly reverse the emotions. There are many ways to do that, but the one that takes the least amount of time and effort is gratefulness.
Sit in a quiet place, close your eyes and think of 30 good things in your life that you may be taking for granted e.g.
- Waking up alive in the morning – thousands die every day
- Seeing everyone else in the family also waking up alive and safe – no disasters
- Having running water for brushing, shave and shower – millions in the world don’t
- Having a choice of hot or cold or warm water for shower
- Wearing nice clothes, with lots of choices and matching shoes and bag and jewelry
- Eating breakfast and other meals – millions are starving to death
- A job to go to – how many are jobless in your city/country? Continue reading
3 questions before you buy it
Here’s another very useful shopping strategy to keep life simple and uncluttered. If it’s anything other than the basic necessities, it must do one of the three things:
- Will it be a source of information or inspiration?
- Will it help simplify or un-clutter my life?
- Will it save me time or money?
If it does, I allow myself the pleasure of impulse buying. The following wooden stand that I bought today is such an example. It helps keep the coffee capsules organized and tidy, replacing the boxes. The photo shows before and after.
Do you think the three questions can save you some money, time or space?
Related post: 3 rules for guilt-free shopping
The power of three words or less
All of us have experienced the positive feeling when someone says something nice to us and we know they mean it. A genuine compliment or appreciation often takes 2-3 words but can result in instant happiness and an immediate shift in your mood. Here’s a list of some of those 2-3 word phrases that can change somebody’s life, even if for a few hours or days – of course, you can’t use all of these with everyone:
- Thank you
- Appreciate it
- Great job
- Fantastic service
- Excellent idea
- Nice shirt / shoes / bag…
- You look gorgeous / pretty / young…
- You’re so kind / thoughtful / amazing…
- You’re the best
- I love you
I think someone’s quality of life and level of happiness can be measured in the number of compliments they give and receive. What was your last compliment?
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” -Leo Buscaglia
The best ferry ride of my life… 30 minutes, 30 photos… colors of the sky…
I wasn’t sure about the best title for this post. So I wrote all three of them. I wasn’t even sure if this photo post belongs here where I only share tips on happiness, health, productivity, relationships and motivation. But I hope these photos inspire some reader somewhere to take a break from a busy day and enjoy the amazing beauty of nature, whether it be sunrise, sunset, water, hills, snow, leaves… whatever we usually take for granted.
I took this 30-minute ferry ride from Aberdeen (not too far from my place in Hong Kong) to Mo Tat Wan, a part of the Lamma Island. As you can tell, it looked quite grey and gloomy during the first few minutes. Then I got lucky! All of a sudden, as if someone started painting the sky in shades of oranges and reds. The color of the water also started to change simultaneously. It was just magical. I have taken this ride hundreds of times with family and friends, and watched many a spectacular sunsets, but there was something special about today. I was alone, and without any reading material or the iPhone. Just my Canon Ixus. See all the photos individually here.
What do you think?
Download my free photo ebook and photo eCards from here.
3 rules for guilt-free shopping, and an uncluttered life
In an earlier post, less stuff = more happiness, I shared how and why I started simplifying my life, five years ago, by reducing my possessions. Once I had done that, the challenge was to keep it that way and ensure that the old habits don’t creep back in.
My short shopping spree today made me realize how religiously I follow certain rules that have allowed me to keep my possessions to the minimum and continue to have a clutter-free life. These rules can be summarized as three simple strategies that anyone can follow. Simple, but not easy…
- Shop Mindfully:
- Only buy what you need – really need. If it’s a temporary need, see if can be borrowed or rented.
- Go with a shopping list and stay focused. Don’t be distracted by displays or special offers.
- Don’t buy anything ‘just in case’ you might need it. Trust that you’ll find it ‘just in time’.
- Always buy quality. It lasts longer, so costs less in the long run.
- Don’t compromise on the style, size or color, otherwise you may be discarding it too soon. Continue reading
5 reasons why I travel solo sometimes
Same time last week, I was struggling with my translation app while chatting to a local family over dinner, overlooking the quiet Dongjiang Lake in a remote area of China, called Chenzhou. The family owned the small hotel I was staying in. I had no hurry to go back to my room; no plans for the next day or the day after. I was discovering the joys of traveling solo.
For most of my life, I believed traveling alone for leisure/holiday could not be fun. I even let go of many opportunities to see new places just because I didn’t have company. Sometimes the idea seemed very selfish, considering that I have a wonderful family I love to travel with. But my first solo trip to New Zeeland changed it all. I realized the benefits of traveling alone and have never missed an opportunity. After my trip to Chenzhou, a couple of friends asked me how could I travel alone to such places. And that inspired this post, which answers the why instead of how:
- It’s easy to pick any place you want if you don’t have to worry about the preferences of your companion(s). If the journey, place or the experience turns out to be a disaster, you don’t have anyone else to blame. I would have never picked Chenzhou of all the places!
- You can freely experiment destinations, modes of travel, accommodations that you have never tried before, knowing that you wouldn’t be ‘ruining’ someone else’s trip. The amazing train journey in China was a result of such an experiment.
- You are more likely to engage in conversations with fellow travelers during the journey, and with locals during your time on the ground. These conversations tell you more about the people and place than any guide book or the tripAdvisor.com
- You can make your own spontaneous plans. I was up at 5:30 and out by 6, hiking up a trail I knew nothing about, discovering the waterfalls the local family had mentioned. It was truly a path only walked by the locals living on the other side of the mountains.
- Traveling solo gives you time with yourself – to think, meditate, find answers or new questions, or just enjoy the beauty of the world in quiet solitude. The half an hour I spent sitting quietly at this pagoda seemed like an eternity. It was one of the toughest things to just sit and not do anything, but also the most rewarding and memorable part of the trip.
I am all in favor of enjoying holidays with family and friends, which can be great fun and some of the best bonding experiences. But traveling solo has its own joys that you must experience.
Please share your experience if you have traveled solo, or your fears if you haven’t. These eCards were part of an inspiration during the same trip. Check them out and let me know what you think.
Another review of Dhinchak Life!
Just saw this in a local magazine in Hong Kong…
If you have read my book, I would love to hear from you. You can:
- Leave your comments on this page
- Rate the book or write a review on it’s Amazon page
If you haven’t read it yet, you may order it from:
- Amazon, paperback/ebook
- Barnes & Noble, paperback/Nook
- Fishpond
If you are in Hong Kong, you can also buy it directly from me.
Thanks to all of you for your support and encouragement!
Is happiness the secret of success?
I just read this wonderful article by Shawn Achor at CNN.com. Following are some excerpts. You may read the full article here.
“Scientifically, happiness is a choice. It is a choice about where your single processor brain will devote its finite resources as you process the world. If you scan for the negative first, your brain literally has no resources left over to see the things you are grateful for or the meaning embedded in your work. But if you scan the world for the positive, you start to reap an amazing advantage.
“Now that there is research validity to these claims, the working world is starting to take notice. In January, I wrote the cover story for the Harvard Business Review magazine on “Happiness Leads to Profits.” Based on my article called “Positive Intelligence” and my research in The Happiness Advantage, I outlined our researched conclusion: the single greatest advantage in the modern economy is a happy and engaged workforce.
“A decade of research in the business world proves that happiness raises nearly every business and educational outcome: raising sales by 37%, productivity by 31%, and accuracy on tasks by 19%, as well as a myriad of health and quality-of-life improvements.
“Training your brain to be positive at work is just like training your muscles at the gym. Sounds simple, right? Well, think about how easy it is to make yourself go to the gym. The key with any new resolution is to make it a habit. New research on neuroplasticity – the ability of the brain to change even as an adult – reveals that moderate actions can rewire the brain as you create “life habits.” Continue reading
As happy as possible – by Leo Babauta
Reblogged from mnmlist.com – one of my favorite blogs about minimalism.
“I believe I’m as happy as it is possible to be.
I’m not crying out in ecstatic pleasure, or streaming tears of joy, but I am very happy. It’s not a peak of happiness, but a plateau of happiness that can go on for as long as I live.
This is a happiness I wish on everyone alive. The question then is, what are the factors that contribute to my happiness?
Here’s what I don’t have:
- A huge house
- Massive wealth
- Fancy clothes
- A nice car
- A powerful job
- Cable TV
And I don’t believe having any of those would contribute to greater happiness than I already have. Here’s what I do have that contribute to my happiness:
- Time
- Loving relationships
- Meaningful work
- Health
- Books
- Enough
The first six are seen as the goals of society by many people. The second six make me very happy, and I believe I have them because I decided to forgo the first six. I recommend this path.”
Read more about happiness in my new book: Dhinchak Life
4 reasons why today is your best day!
A piece from “Today is Your Best Day” by Roy Lessin:
It’s not your best day because you feel like it is, or because you prevent that it is. It is not your best day because everything is going perfectly, or because you are living in ideal circumstances. It is not your best day because you are in optimum health, or because everything is going you way.
Here are four reasons why today is your best day:
- Today is your best day because you are here. God has placed you in this moment of time for a purpose, and the things that happen to you today will be an unfolding of that purpose.
- What happened to you yesterday, however easy or difficult, was used by God to help prepare you for what he has for your today.
- God will use what happens today to prepare you for what he has for you in future days.
- God has used your past and worked it all together for the good, and he will use this day to add to the good that he has already worked on your behalf.
God doesn’t make bad days for your and good days for you. God makes each day fit perfectly into his plans for you.
[Photo of sunrise from one of the McLehose Trails in Hong Kong]
Read more inspiring pieces in my new book, Dhinchak Life
Tali Sharot: We are born optimists!
An excellent TED talk by Tali Sharot, neuroscientist and author of The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain. She highlights the following with interesting case studies:
- Interpretation matters
- Anticipation makes us happy
- Optimism changes reality
- Optimism makes you try harder
“Whatever happens, whether you succeed or you fail, people with high expectations always feel better, because how we feel, depends on how we interpret that event.” Tali Sharot
My take: Optimism is the only way for a ‘dhinchak‘ life!
Michael Norton: Money can buy happiness
Another excellent TED talk in which Michael shares a simple way to buy happiness – by giving…
Michael I. Norton is an Associate Professor of Business Administration in the Marketing Unit and Marvin Bower Fellow at the Harvard Business School. He holds a B.A. in Psychology and English from Williams and a Ph.D. in Psychology from Princeton. Prior to joining HBS, Professor Norton was a Fellow at the MIT Media Lab and MIT’s Sloan School of Management. His work has been published in a number of leading academic journals, including Science, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Psychological Science, and the Annual Review of Psychology, and has been covered in media outlets such as the Economist, the Financial Times, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and the Washington Post.
Free ebook: 47 Tips for Enhancing Life
Today (April 12) I turn 47 years old. It amazes me that I’ve been around that long. I feel like I’ve barely begun. As always, it’s an opportunity to reflect on what I’ve achieved, what I’ve learnt, and where do I want to be in five or ten years from now.
Through this photo book, I am sharing 47 tips on happiness, health, relationships and productivity – all of which can enhance life. The photos used in the book are from my personal collection. You can download the book by clicking on the book cover, or from this link. If you find this useful, please share with others too. I will consider that your birthday gift to me.
8 Happiness Facts
I just read these interesting facts on Action for Happiness site:
- Our happiness is not set in stone: Although our genes influence about 50% of the variation in our personal happiness, our circumstances (like income and environment) affect only about 10%. As much as 40% is accounted for by our daily activities and the conscious choices we make. So the good news is that our actions really can make a difference.
- Optimism helps us achieve our goals: Research shows that people who are optimistic tend to be happier, healthier and cope better in tough times.
- Positive emotions make us more resilient: Our emotions affect our long-term well-being. Research shows that experiencing positive emotions in a 3-to-1 ratio with negative ones leads to a tipping point beyond which we naturally become more resilient to adversity and better able to achieve things.
- Happiness is contagious: Our happiness influences the people we know and the people they know. Research shows that the happiness of a close contact increases the chance of being happy by 15%. The happiness of a 2nd-degree contact (e.g. friend’s spouse) increases it by 10% and the happiness of a 3rd-degree contact (e.g. friend of a friend of a friend) by 6%. [Related post]
- Together we’re stronger: Having a network of social connections or high levels of social support has been shown to increase our immunity to infection, lower our risk of heart disease and reduce mental decline as we get older. Not having close personal ties has been shown to pose significant risks for our health.
- Happier people live longer: Happiness doesn’t just feel good. A review of hundreds of studies has found compelling evidence that happier people have better overall health and live longer than their less happy peers. Anxiety, depression, pessimism and a lack of enjoyment of daily activities have all been found to be associated with higher rates of disease and shorter life spans. [Related TED video]
- Happiness is a skill you can learn: Western neuroscience has now confirmed what Eastern wisdom has known for a long time: happiness is a skill we can learn. Research shows that happiness, compassion and kindness are the products of skills that can be learned and enhanced through training, thanks to the neuro plasticity of our brains.
- Happiness leads to success: Most people think that if they become successful, then they’ll be happy. But recent discoveries in psychology and neuroscience show that this formula is backward: Happiness fuels success, not the other way around. When we’re positive, our brains are more motivated, engaged, creative, energetic, resilient, and productive.
I was a bit surprised to read about genes contributing up to 50% of our happiness, and have started reading some more about it, but the rest of the facts seem to support most of my views and other posts about happiness. What’s your take on the above?
The best tips on productivity, motivation and dealing with depression
I recently had the privilege of connecting and interacting with one of the happiest and most successful people I’ve ever known. He started as a salesman and built one of the biggest direct sales companies in the region. I always admired how he found time for leisure and everything else that he enjoyed doing, even during the busiest times of his business. He retired early and rich, while the company runs on the systems he had built. In the following note, he shared with me his thoughts on motivation, productivity and dealing with depression:
Books: Two books that helped me greatly are:
- How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by Harry Browne
- The Happiness Purpose by Edward De Bono
And my favorite now for ageless wisdom is The Portable Thoreau edited Carl Bode.
Work Habits:
- Keep a ‘time diary’ for 10-30 days. Log everything you do from wake-up to sleep – every phone call, every meeting, every cup of coffee. Review and you will find there is much wasted and unproductive time, which could be spent constructively on work or quality leisure. Make the adjustments.
- Do jobs IMMEDIATELY and FINISH them.
By doing these two things I accomplished the same in one third of the time than most people! Now I am stress-free and have lots of leisure. Continue reading
Less stuff = more happiness
I’ve lived with this mantra for over five years now, so I was obviously very interested to watch Graham Hill’s talk on TED with that title. He has summarized the benefits very well, but he doesn’t tell us what did he do with all his collections, possessions and stuff. Here’s my story and tips:
When I started the process of reducing my possessions and simplifying my life, I started with the biggest chunk – my collection of books. I realized I wasn’t going to re-read most of them. My hope that my kids would read them all one day wasn’t realistic because they don’t have the same interests as mine. So I gave them all away to friends or charity. I also got rid of the book shelf, so that the books I continue to buy must be given away soon after I finish reading them. Since the iPad, I only buy digital books. They are cheaper, easy to store/backup and environment friendly. You can increase the font size and brightness; you can highlight passages; you can call up a dictionary by just touching the word. And if you really miss the touch and feel and smell of real books, you can visit the book store once a while and get all that for free. I have also tried audio books, and they have their benefits too.
Then I was able to simplify my entire wardrobe to fit into ten hangers and one drawer – plus a small suitcase with winter stuff on one side and special occasion stuff on the other. I took most of the unnecessary clutter out of my life – excessive suits, shoes, belts, ties, watches (I’ve actually stopped wearing a watch), videos, CDs etc. I still need to finish scanning the photos and get rid of the albums. All of this means, I need less space for my possessions and less maintenance time. I can focus on quality instead of quantity/variety. I only buy things that I really need and have space for. If I buy a new shirt, an old shirt has to go.
My travel bag has got smaller and smaller, regardless of the length of the trip, and is now down to a small carry-on, without the additional backpack that used to go with it. I still take all the photos and make all the movies with my pocket Canon Ixus. That means I can pack easily and quickly, travel much lighter and move around easily. I have applied the same principle to my work i.e. office space and desk. It’s all easier said than done, but extremely rewarding and worthwhile. I believe it makes you more productive, more efficient, lighter and happier!
[Photo of my travel bags taken just now in the hotel room. The shoulder bag has the camera, spare battery, spare SD cards, phone, wallet, passport, charger, pens and few other essentials]
Mush Panjwani 