We all need to do this every day!
Happiness
Over 100 million homeless people!
Over 100 million people are homeless throughout the world, the majority of them women and dependent children. Overall, at least 600 million people live in shelters that are life threatening or health threatening in developing world cities. Every day, some 50,000 people die as a result of poor shelter, polluted water and inadequate sanitation. Some 70 million women and children live in homes where smoke from cooking fires damages their health. There are over 23 million refugees worldwide, and 27 million internally displaced people- within their own countries.
Please remember this, the next time you feel like complaining for lack of space. Another reason to be grateful.
[Photo taken in Bangkok yesterday]
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10 Essentials of Life by Leo Buscaglia
From Living, Loving and Learning by Leo Buscaglia:
- Right Knowledge, to supply you with the tools necessary for your voyage.
- Wisdom, to assure you that you are using the accumulated knowledge of the past in a manner that will best serve the discovery of your presence, your ‘now’.
- Compassion, to help you accept others whose ways may be different from yours, with gentleness and understanding, as you move with them or through them or around them on your own way.
- Harmony, to be able to accept the natural flow of life.
- Creativity, to help you to realize and recognize new alternatives and unchartered paths along the way.
- Strength, to stand up against fear and move forward in spite of uncertainty, without guarantee or payment.
- Peace, to keep you centered.
- Joy, to keep you songful, and laughing and dancing all along the way.
- Love, to be your continual guide towards the highest level of consciousness of which man is capable.
- Unity, which brings us back to where we started – the place where we are at one with ourselves and with all things.
To me, life is God’s gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to God. Make it a fantastic one.
What do you think is essential in life? Please share through your comments.
[Photo: Tree outside the Heathrow Airport, March 2010]
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Who is Making You Unhappy?
I faced a stressful situation today, and reminded myself: There’s only one person who is responsible for any stress in my life, and that’s me. And guess what, my stress vanished.
There’s only one person who is responsible for the quality of your life, happiness, health, relationships, motivation, job satisfaction, wealth and well being. And that’s you!
And the person who makes you unhappy, unhealthy, stressful, disappointed, frustrated, angry, lonely, lazy or poor is also you!
Who will you choose to be?
Two Words That Can Hurt: ‘Never’ and ‘Always’
As in:
“You never listen to me!”- “You never come on time!”
- “You never return my calls!”
- “You always forget my birthday!”
- “You are always on the phone/computer!”
- “You always argue with me!”
You get the point? Such use of the words ‘never’ and ‘always’ exaggerate the reality and blow the situation out of proportion. It usually sparks an argument, or at best, affects the self-esteem of the other person. Next time you are tempted to use these words, try replacing them with ‘usually’ or ‘often’ if you really must use an adverb.
And what if you are at the receiving end of such criticism with one of these words?
- Don’t take them seriously – you know it’s just an exaggeration.
- Avoid the temptation to pick on these words and start a heated argument.
- Simply ask: ‘Do you really mean it?’ or ‘You mean often, not always, right?
- Don’t let it hurt you or ruin your day or affect your self-esteem – you are stronger than that!
The words always and never can also be used in very positive ways to enhance your communication, increase your commitment, and to motivate yourself and others. Please share your views through comments.
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3 Life Lessons from Traveling
This post was inspired during my recent 24-hour journey from Hamza’s place in Cardiff to my home in Hong Kong. Multiple connections combined with various modes of travel always result in exciting surprises. And then the movie, ‘Up in the Air’ provided some more impetus. Many frequent travelers learn a few ‘tricks of the trade’ and develop certain attitudes that help them deal with the stress of traveling and keep sane. And I believe some of these provide useful lessons for life:
- Travel light. It’s perhaps the most important advice on traveling. Packing a smaller bag requires planning, discipline and focus on the essentials. It saves time at check-in counters. It’s easier to unpack. Less clutter means better focus, and fewer chances of leaving something behind. You can also move on at short notice. Doesn’t that apply to life too? Whether it’s your desk/desktop, wallet/purse/bag, wardrobe or the house… fewer things mean less clutter, less time wasted on finding stuff, less energy on the maintenance. The same applies to having thousands of ‘friends’ on Facebook, receiving tons of junk mail, maintaining dozens of credit cards… the list goes on. Less is more; lighter the better; quality over quantity.
- Be prepared for surprises. You learn during traveling that everything is not in your control, and things don’t always go as planned. Flights can be delayed or cancelled; your special meal onboard is often mixed up; bags don’t always make the connection; hotels can be over-booked; Internet doesn’t always work… And it’s not because the world is conspiring against you and everyone is out to get you. You can accept these situations with calm or fight and argue and get upset. I often remind upset fellow passengers: There are usually three reasons for a flight to be delayed: there’s something wrong with the plane, or the pilot, or the weather. And I am glad they have found out while we are still on the ground. The same applies to life. Despite great intentions and excellent planning, things do go wrong. And we have to learn to distinguish between situations (that can’t be changed) and problems (that can be solved). Unfortunately, so many people waste so much of their time and energy fighting with situations.
- Enjoy the moment. Just like the unpleasant surprises, there are often unexpected pleasures in traveling. It can be the most beautiful sunrise over the horizon from your window seat, a divine local meal, an unforgettable encounter with a stranger, and other memorable unplanned experiences. At such moments, you don’t want to continue reading the book or checking your email on the iPhone or responding to an SMS. In an age when electronic communications enable us to be permanently connected to (and distracted by) the virtual world, there’s a thrill in throwing yourself into a single place, a single moment. When you travel, you get to embrace the privilege of witnessing life as it happens before your eyes. This attitude need not be confined to travel. For all the pleasures of the virtual world, there is no substitute for real-life conversations and connections with the people and places around you. Even at home, there’s good reason to unplug from the world and really connect with the people you love.
Do you have any interesting experiences from your travels? Or any tips for life? Please share through comments.
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Inspiration from Nana
Nana is the Urdu/Hindi word for maternal grandfather. Every time I go to Dubai, I visit my 97-year old nana who lives with my uncle. We have all envied his health and fitness levels for a long time. Until recently, he used to wake up before dawn for his morning prayers and rituals; he read newspapers and went for walks; he traveled on his own between Bhavnagar (India) and Dubai.
Every time, I would learn about a different part of his life – and each one more inspiring than the other e.g.
- He never went to university, but was one of the most learned men of his time. He never stopped reading and learning. He could speak more than five languages.
- He started his career selling metal at the age of 18. And when he retired at 50, he owned a huge metal business and few shops.
- Soon after retirement, he started working with a few philanthropic organizations. He traveled across India and Africa for fund-raising and built hundreds of schools in poor neighborhoods.
- He had four wives; he remarried after the deaths of each one, except the last one who died about ten years ago. My mom was born from the second wife.
I saw him last week, and he is not the same anymore, physically. He is now bed-ridden, but insists on walking to the bathroom. He can only take fluids, so he is getting weaker by the day. He can’t see properly, or hear or talk. And he doesn’t recognize anyone. He felt my face, arms and biceps. Then he smiled and made a gesture with a punched hand – meaning ‘you seem fit’. When I realized his mental alertness, I tried to say ‘let’s get up and go’ through my body language. He quickly responded through his hands and expressions which I interpreted as, ‘I am done with this life; I am too tired now; I am ready to go’.
I think people have two kinds of thoughts on their deathbeds: I wish I had done this and done that; if I could live my life again, I would do this and that differently. Or I am glad I did this and that; if I could live my life again, I wouldn’t change a thing; I had the best life! And what we would be thinking on our deathbeds depends on how we live our lives today.
[Updated on 2nd April: Nana passed away today. May his soul rest in peace]
Happy Marriage Tip #46
The post on 45 Tips for a Happy Marriage continues to be one of the most popular on this blog. Here’s #46 – actually an extension of ‘go on dates’…
We have another ritual that we call Friday Dates. Once in a month or two, we both take the afternoon off from whatever we are doing. We meet at our favorite soup/salad place for a long lunch. Then we usually go to a nearby reflexology place for an invigorating foot/shoulder treatment. The rest of the afternoon is either shopping or movie or just chilling out at a coffee shop.
Why Friday? There’s something about leaving important work behind in the office to meet that special someone. It’s a great start to a wonderful weekend. There’s no rush to go back home to kids – they are at work or in school. The long hours together encourages lot of talking. We share our dreams and goals, address important issues, and even resolve any differences. Try it out. It’s very different from the usual dinner dates, and is sure to strengthen the relationship.
[Photo of sunset from Cococabana beach on Lamma Island, Hong Kong]
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35 Steps to an Enhanced Life
We all want more happiness, better health, increased productivity and improved relationships. We want to be able to motivate ourselves to do the things we know we should do to enhance our lives. I try to help myself and others to achieve all that through this blog.
Here’s a collection of posts from the last couple of years that I consider to be the best, considering the popularity and comments from the readers. Most articles are short, and take only a few minutes to read. Please let me know through your comments if this collection could form a useful ebook…
Happiness:
- It all starts with gratefulness
- 4 tips for instant happiness
- Quotes on relaxing and beating stress
- The weird idea of ‘happy new day’
- Unhappiness comes from unrealistic expectations
- Controlling anger
- How to deal with negative people
- Thinking about the past, present and future
Health:
- Your health is up to you
- How to sleep well and wake up recharged
- The power of breathing
- Say ‘no’ to Diet Coke
- Negative emotions can cause heart disease
- How much sugar are you consuming?
- Causes, symptoms and management of stress
- 10 benefits of swimming
Productivity:
- The 4 D’s of time management
- 7 tips for a clean desk
- Take time to read
- Un-clutter now
- 5 benefits of rising early
- The best kept secret
- Avoid these email mistakes
Relationships:
- #1 source of happiness
- Listening with your eyes
- Tips for a happy marriage
- What do you expect?
- The power of ‘thank-you’
Motivation:
- Why most people don’t achieve their goals?
- Patience, persistence and positive attitude
- What’s true success?
- 3-part method of overcoming challenges
- Be the best you can
- Life – destiny or choice?
- Change anything
Please take a few minutes to tell me about your most favorite articles, through comments below. Thanks.
[Photo of Kuk Po hike near Tai Po in Hong Kong, taken last week]
Be The Best You Can!
“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’” (Martin Luther King, Jr.)
“Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have, now.” (African-American proverb)
“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” (Leonardo da Vinci)
“Make the most of yourself, for that’s all there is of you.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
“Doing the best at this moment, puts you in the best place for the next moment.” (Oprah Winfrey)
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Happy New Day!
What if we had new month resolutions at the start of each new month, instead of new year resolutions? Could we have a better chance of fulfilling them, knowing that we only have 30 days?
What if we celebrated every new week, instead of just the new year? Could we not be as excited about the challenges and surprises that each new week brings?
What if we welcomed each new day with the same gratefulness, cheer and optimism, as we greet the new year? Could we not wish each other a Happy New Day, every day?
That’s part of my new year resolutions – to celebrate each new day and be grateful for every moment of this wonderful life. Let’s see how long does that last!
Would you like to share your new year resolutions?
[Video of fireworks in Hong Kong a few hours ago, taken by Sara from the Peak]
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For Fast-Acting Relief, Try Slowing Down…
Thanks to all those who read and forwarded and commented on the post on Stress. You can view all the comments here – some very interesting perspectives and useful tips on managing stress. Seeing the level of interest, I have put together some nice quotes on stress:
- The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it. ~Attributed to both Jim Goodwin and Sydney J. Harris
- Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. ~Richard Carlson
- For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. ~Lily Tomlin
- The mark of a successful man is one that has spent an entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it. ~Author Unknown
- One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. ~Bertrand Russell
- Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. ~Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind
- Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering. ~Pooh’s Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne
- There is more to life than increasing its speed. ~Mohandas K. Gandhi
- A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. ~Aesop, Fables
- Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you. ~John De Paola
- How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward. ~Spanish Proverb
- Stress is poison. ~Agavé Powers
- It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. ~Jerome K. Jerome, The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
- Sometimes a headache is all in your head. Relax. ~Hartman Jule
- Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. ~Chinese Proverb
- Stress is an admission of weakness, a cry of defeat to the world. ~Carrie Latet
Please share your favorite quotes through comments.
[Photo taken at Hua Hin beach, Thailand]
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Readers’ Tips on Stress Management
The last post, 17 Things You Should Know About Stress, attracted a lot of views and some interesting comments. Here’s some advise from readers on how they manage stress:
“I usually manage stress by writing. I write down all the possible reasons which I think are causing stress. First in points and then I write detail paragraphs for each point. Then I read each point again and again very carefully. Finally I start crossing out the points. Most of the time I am able to cross out all the points and find no reason left to remain stressed.”
“I either listen to soft music or read a good motivating book and mostly what i do at difficult situations is , i go to a silent place and CRY. Once i’m done trust me i feel relaxed, find a solution and just move on. Trust me stress will never come back once u r able to let your feelings out.”
“Hey you forgot to mention laughter as a means to reduce stress, a good joke and friends with good sense of humar always releases my stress.”
I look forward to more tips from the readers.
4 Tips for Instant Happiness!
“If you want to be happy, be.” Leo Tolstoy
Feeling sad, depressed or unhappy? Does life look gloomy, and the world seems dreary? Try one of the following tested and proven tips to achieve an instant shift in your emotions and feelings:
1. Be grateful for the things you usually take for granted…
- Being alive and healthy
- For the basic stuff: food, water, clothes, shelter, electricity…
- Your skills: reading, writing, thinking, driving, writing, and other
- People in your life: family, friends, people you love, people who love you, those who had a positive influence in your life
2. Make someone happy…
- Compliment people: for their appearance, intelligence, skills…
- Appreciate others: for what they do for you, for their helpfulness… your family, co-workers and others; say ‘thank you’
- Listen without interrupting, without offering advice, without judging Continue reading
10 Reasons to Control Your Anger!
A man is about as big as the things that make him angry. Winston Churchill
Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret. Dr. Lawrence Peter
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Buddha
Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one. Benjamin Franklin
Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame. Benjamin Franklin
Anyone who angers you, conquers you. Unknown
When you are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger. Epictetus
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. Marcus Aurelius
If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size? Sydney J. Harris
If you kick a stone in anger, you’ll hurt your own foot. Korean Proverb
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The Tears of the Desert – Paulo Coelho
A beautiful piece from ‘Like a Flowing River’ by Paulo Coelho:
A friend of mind returns from Morocco with a beautiful story about a missionary who, as soon as he arrived in Marrakesh, decided that he would go for a walk every morning in the desert that lay just outside the city. The first time he did this, he noticed a man lying down, with his ear pressed to the ground and stoking the sand with one hand.
‘He’s obviously mad,’ the missionary said to himself. But the scene was repeated every day, and after a month, intrigued by this strange behavior, he decided to speak to the stranger. With great difficulty, since he was not yet fluent in Arabic, he knelt down by his side.
‘What are you doing?’
‘I am keeping the desert company and offering it consolation for its loneliness and its tears.’
‘I didn’t know the desert was capable of tears.’
‘It weeps every day because it dreams of being useful to people, and of being transformed into a vast garden where they could grow cereal crops and flowers and graze sheep.’ Continue reading
Fast Food or Slow Food?
I just read this very interesting and useful article on Zen Habits, one of my favorite blogs:
It’s been awhile since I’ve written about the Slow Food movement, but I really believe it’s the answer to many of our problems: health and obesity, the hectic and stressful pace of modern life, and the lack of happiness in a complex and often burdensome world.
This is the Anti-Fast Food Diet — a way to not only lose weight and get healthier, but to change your life to one of simplicity, moderation, and joy.
Abandon fast food, and all the values it brings: mass consumption, mass production, the exploitation of workers, the destruction of the environment, the destruction of small local businesses, the corporatization of our culture.
Instead, embrace Slow Food. Here’s how. Continue reading
Dan Gilbert asks: Why Are We Happy?
Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert says our beliefs about what will make us happy are often wrong — a premise he supports with intriguing research, and explains in his accessible and unexpectedly funny book, Stumbling on Happiness.
It is wonderful that a modern philosopher can come to the same conclusions as the Buddha 2,500 years ago. He said that when we learn to accept things as they are we find happiness. When we cease to strive for happiness in the future we find it in this moment. Getting what we want doesn’t make us happy, being happy with what we have does. Craving causes misery, acceptance and peace makes us happy.
Life – Destiny or Choice?
Last week I did a road trip from Mumbai to Pune and back. The journey was almost five hours each time, so I got to know the drivers very well:
One of them was a 30-year old who had been driving different vehicles for different companies ever since he got his driving license at the age of 18. He just made enough money to support his old parents and younger brother’s education. He had no ambitions, and believed he was destined to be a low-paid driver. When I asked him whether he had considered saving up to buy his own car or taxi, he gave me many reasons why not. He was unclean, drove recklessly and kept complaining about the government, roads, other reckless drivers and life in general. He bumped his car into another near Pune but didn’t accept his mistake.
The other was a 35-year old who had a similar background – poor parents, no education – but a completely different life. Continue reading
5 More Reasons to be Grateful!
Did you know?
- 923 million people in the world are hungry!
- 16,000 children die every day due to hunger – that’s one every five seconds!
- 880 million people live without adequate supply of water!
- 1.4 billion people live below the poverty line (USD1 per day)!
- 200 million people are unemployed. And at least 20 million more were estimated to become unemployed in 2009!
If we are not one of the above, we have at least five more reasons to be grateful. We can choose to take all the good things for granted; we can continue to complain about the imperfections in our lives and other people; we can focus on all the things that we don’t have. And we are sure to be unhappy, miserable and stressed. Or… we can choose to be happy; we can start acknowledging and being grateful for all the goodness in life, and everything that we do have.
What are you grateful for, today, right now?
[Photo of Big Buddha in Hong Kong]
Mush Panjwani 